
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11597826.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Dragon_Age_II
  Relationship:
      Anders/Fenris
  Character:
      Anders_(Dragon_Age), Fenris_(Dragon_Age), Justice_(Dragon_Age), Danarius
  Series:
      Part 2 of Roleplay_Spin_Offs_and_OSs
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-24 Updated: 2017-08-21 Chapters: 11/? Words: 52877
****** The Memories We Hold Dear ******
by HideTheDecay
Summary
     He was silent for a long time, his throat thick and his heart
     throbbing. “If you see him again before I do,” he started, his voice
     strained, “will you tell him that I…” That he was going to get them
     out of here, but he wasn’t really sure if he could trust her to relay
     such a message. After some consideration, he changed where he was
     going with his request. “Tell him that I love him.”
Notes
     So...my partner and I have a bad habit of writing OS's and spin offs.
     What can I say? This story is based on the same roleplay as the last,
     so it is VERY IMPORTANT for you read the notes at the beginning of
     the last story in this collection to understand what lead up to this.
     This story is not connected to the last beyond the fact that they
     both spin offs from the same roleplay and have the same premise.
     Events in the roleplay that come into play here.
     1. After leaving Kirkwall, they end up traveling to Orlais in order
     to research the source of their connection and if it can be reversed.
     They stay for months, coming up with no answers.
     2. Fenris often refused healing from Anders because he has a fear of
     blood magic 'healing' and how painful it is, though Anders helps him
     to get over it.
     3. In the beginning, Fenris often refused to sleep, use to being
     denied such luxuries during his time with Danarius and due to taking
     up a sort similar of 'body guard' role for Anders for fear of him
     dying and being possessed by Justice.
     4. Anders' escape attempts from the Circle mostly went unpunished,
     but before his solitary confinement, Anders was whipped and forced to
     endure the wounds as they healed naturally during his isolation.
***** Chapter 1 *****
It was in the small hours of the morning that Danarius’ patience paid off and
he finally signaled his men to rush into the tiny little shack his pet and new
‘master’ spent their nights in. He’d watched them closely over the last several
days and to his shock, Fenris had only even patrolled two of those nights. He’d
heard through the whispers of slavers that his prized possession had been
walking the streets of Orlais with some foreign mage for a year and it seems in
that time Fenris had grown inexcusably lazy. It was no matter though, after
tonight all of that was going to change.
He hung back, knowing it was best to wait for the initial chaos of the ambush
to die down before making his entrance. He’d come prepared for this - magebane
for the thief, though really it was not fair to call him that considering that
Fenris had likely sought him out as a gentler master, and lyrium-muting chains
for his wayward pet. Still, it may be a messy affair and he’d prefer not to
dirty his robes if it could be helped, so he’d wait until the two were properly
apprehended.
Fenris had been asleep in Anders’ arms when the men rushed in and so they had
gotten far too close to the bed by the time he woke and sprang to action. He
was entirely naked and his lyrium flared dangerously as the hands in the dark
grabbed at him, a couple latching onto him though he thrashed and bit and
phased, tearing out any body part he could get his hands on, looking and
snarling very much like the wild dog Anders had once called him. The mage had
been ambushed just as quickly, a couple men dedicated just to deal with him
before he could get to his staff and complicate this retrieval. They snagged
the man harshly from his bed, forcing his head back and dumping magebane down
his throat likely before Anders had any idea of what was going on.
---
The sudden movement beside him jarred Anders awake and while it was far from
his first time being awoken like this, it had been long enough that his
reflexes had dulled and before he knew it, he was on the floor and that bitter
taste that awoke all his nightmares filled his mouth. That was all it took for
Justice to rage, but at that point it was too late and when Anders screamed and
struggled, he was defenseless. He couldn’t summon so much as a flicker of
electricity and his body, which normally hummed with power, was weak and empty.
Try as he might, there was nothing and he couldn’t even draw on his life energy
to cast, though doing so would easily kill him.
He could see the reassuring glow of his lover slaughtering their attackers, but
it was the only source of light in an otherwise dark room and it was difficult
to tell what was going on, especially when he was struggling wildly, resorting
to fists and teeth when he had nothing else to defend himself with.
---
The two men on Anders struggled to hold him, but they managed to keep their
grip on the mage and force him to stay knelt on the floor. Fenris grew all the
more feral when he heard Anders scream and though he managed to kill a few of
his attackers, there were enough to eventually get the chain around him and
start to bind him up, his lyrium dying out the moment the metal touched him.
When the chain had his arms pinned behind him, one of the men whistled to
signal the others to come inside.
A thin, beautiful elf that looked to be little more than a child lead the way
inside, holding a lamp to light the room for her master. Danarius was just a
few steps behind her and he scowled to see his favored elf naked, snarling, and
covered in the blood of slaves he’d paid good coin for. The only thing that
soothed his mood was the look of fear in Fenris’ eyes when they fell on him.
“You have caused me a great deal of trouble, my little wolf. But it’s time to
go home.” His gaze turned to the mage his men had apprehended on the floor.
“Forgive the magebane, my fellow caster. You have something that belongs to
me.”
---
When the glow went out, Anders’ heart seized, but he realized from his
struggles that he had not been killed, he was just being bound by enchanted
chains. Still, the situation did not bode well and when the magister stepped
inside, all it took was him addressing Fenris to realize just who he was. Not
templars, as he’d assumed, but someone altogether worse. Inside him, Justice
roared, and his fury fed into the mages’ so that the look that he offered the
blood mage was pure revulsion.
“He doesn’t belong to you! He never belonged to you!” he growled, fighting the
men holding him desperately. “Let us go or I swear- I swear-...” He couldn’t
even find a threat that was vicious enough to give the man that had caused his
lover so much pain.
---
The answer surprised him and he raised his brows, looking rather amused. “But
he does belong to me. I have plenty of paperwork to prove it. I can’t blame you
for wanting him, though. He’s a rather skilled slave, isn’t he?” Danarius
grabbed a coin purse from his belt and tossed it to the floor in front of
Anders. “Don’t worry, I brought compensation for your loss.”
Fenris was still fighting, thrashing and biting and spitting curses at the men
holding him. When they started to pull him closer to his master, he kicked at
their legs to slow the process. “You bastard! Venhedis! Festis bei umo
canavarum!” He hurled the words venomously at Danarius, though his eyes kept
worriedly shifting to the mage on the ground. “You’ll have to kill me, you’ll
never take me alive.” If they did take him alive, it would mean the death of
Anders.
--
“If you touch him my compensation will be your head,” he spit, looking every
bit as wild animal as his lover. It wasn’t like him to get like this, except
when he was captured by templars, but even then he’d always been pretty glib
about it in the past. Before Justice. His eyes flicked to Fenris and there was
true desperation in them, before they returned to glare death at the man that
stood before them.
---
“Don’t tempt me to kill you, Fenris. I’ve thought about it plenty after all the
resources I invested into finding you. But keep talking to me like that and I
may cut your tongue out instead.” He spoke to the elf as if addressing an
insolent child throwing a tantrum and when Fenris spat more curses at him and
kicked one of his assailants hard enough to knock the lot of them to the
ground, he sighed. “Break his legs.”
He moved closer to Anders then, giving the mage his attention while they dealt
with his troublesome slave. “You surprise me. You’re so possessive of my little
wolf. I paid you well for him, you could buy two good slaves for the gold I
gave you. Nearly as talented and far more obedient.” He had to raise his voice
to be heard over Fenris’ shrieks that they still wouldn’t take him alive right
up until the words melted into a howl when a bodyguard’s warhammer came down on
his leg.
---
Anders wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, not after he heard the
order to break his legs. “No, no!” He was exhausting himself in his effort to
thrash, but his eyes were flicking frantically between the hammer and his
struggling lover. “Stop! Don’t hurt him! No!” he yelled, watching as it swung
down. The sound of his howl cut into him and his own voice joined his, as if he
could feel the pain as much as him. “Fenris!”
---
Danarius looked entirely bemused, but he couldn’t help but smirk. This man was
screaming over something as inconsequential as a couple broken bones in a
disobedient slave? He was the strangest mage he’d ever seen. He stood there in
silence, knowing the room would be filled with shrieks for a while longer as
the hammer came down a second time to crush Fenris’ other leg. The men holding
Anders were struggling to keep him subdued and one of Fenris’ guards moved to
assist with the mage instead, now that the elf had quieted to gasping out
“Anders” with every breath and his attempts to swing and bite at his captors
were growing weak.
---
He couldn’t stand to watch it come down on him again and his eyes slammed shut
just before it struck, but he screamed all the same. He’d never felt so weak
and helpless in his life and being what he was and who he was, that was saying
something. It was so much worse when the man he loved that was the one in
danger and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He’d rather it had been templars
taking him away, no matter what they would do to him. He heard his name and his
eyes opened to find him, entirely fixated on him. “Fenris, I won’t let them
take you, I won’t. I won’t!”
---
Fenris was trying to reach for Anders, his eyes glassy with pain and fear. He
was terrified, but not only for himself. What was more important was that the
moment they dragged him far enough away, he lover would be killed, his soul
torn apart. “Have to kill me!” He cried the partial demand, meaning it for the
men holding him but staring at Anders.
“That’s enough. Let’s go.” Danarius was over the screaming and theatrics and
ready to head home. He gestured for the men holding Fenris to start dragging
him out and despite his mangled legs, the elf’s fight was renewed and they
struggled to keep their hold on him. “NO!” Fenris howled at the top of his
lungs, fighting them with all he had but still being pulled away. “STOP! I HAVE
TO STAY WITH HIM! STOP! I’LL BE GOOD! I’LL DO ANYTHING, JUST STOP!” But despite
his pleas, Danarius did not withdraw his order and so the men pulled him from
the room. Danarius was left standing in front of Anders and the men holding the
mage, pleased to hear the sounds of his insolent pet start to fade.
---
It hadn’t even occurred to him that he would die, but hearing his demand and
then his yells, he realized what was coming for him. His eyes were wide and he
watched them start to drag him away. “No,” he breathed, the inhale that
followed coming in a frightened stutter. He wasn’t worried about himself, he
was worried about what would happen to Fenris if he died - no one would know
the trouble he was in and no one would be going to save him.
“You can’t. You can’t seperate us. Take me with you. Take me, you have to. I’ll
die.” As if Danarius cared. “He’ll die.” Maybe that would get his attention,
even though it was a lie. A bluff. “We’re bound together, you have to…” He
could feel the beginnings of it...it was fear. There was no anger this time, it
was pure fear and it pulsed through him. His panicked words turned into
struggling, desperate to get out and close the growing distance between them.
---
“I think you’ll learn to do just fine without him. He’ll do fine without you -
in a few days, he won’t know you.” He was still deeply surprised by the mage’s
desperation to keep Fenris, but the amusement of it was wearing off. “You’ll
find another.” He watched the men struggle to hold the thrashing man, but made
no move to help them or leave. He wanted the men with Fenris to have a good
head start before he set off and eventually the men could release the mage and
follow.
---
It was at this point that he would have come to life, Justice’s influence
breaking his skin to reveal him, but the magebane kept him back and the
confliction was agonizing. The spirit was being drawn forth to no avail and
unlike every time he’d tapped into his power before, willingly or not, it felt
like the deepest parts of him were being torn open. Even when they’d tested the
limits of their separation at the beginning of their journey, the pain hadn’t
felt anything like this and he was screaming long before they reached the point
of no return.
When they did reach that point, his body convulsed and his shrieks became
otherworldly as his voice was shifted between his own and Justice’s echoing
cords, a terrible mix that was neither one or the other, both but separate.
Each time Justice’s voice broke through, his body flickered with jagged lines
of blue, but the mage had no control of himself, neither of them did. He was in
a fit that saw his nose and eyes begin to bleed as his the spirit had no choice
but to draw in his life energy as they were being rendered into two.
---
Danarius was just about to turn to go when the shrieks changed. He watched with
wide eyes as the mage began to glow and bleed, the sight making the demon
within him stir with both interest and unease. He only let it go on a moment
before he gestured to his men to bring the mage along and started toward the
ship, insisting on a fast pace just in case the words were true and both the
mage and his prized possession were about to die.
---
Unlike before, when he needed Fenris’ touch to push Justice back, when the
distance between them began to close, the flickering glow went out and the
bleeding mage slumped in the arms of his captors, passed out. He was nearly
dead, but the magister had acted swiftly enough that with considerable care,
the mana fatigue would not be the source of his end.
---
By the time Danarius reached the boat, Fenris was screaming almost incoherently
in a blend of Common and Tevene that he’d killed Anders. He decided to let him
believe that for awhile, keeping his pet in his room as the others took Anders
to a room and began to tend to the mage. He would need mana after an episode
like that, but he’d be receiving it under the same chains that kept Fenris from
phasing so he would not be able to cast if he woke up. Only after Fenris had
been shrieking and sobbing for two days did he show his pet to sleeping mage to
prove that he was in fact still alive. He hadn’t let his elf get any closer
than the doorway, but that had been enough to quiet him down some.
His punishment would be most effective after his memory had been wiped so he
could start his training over, but that didn’t mean that this would be an easy
journey for his pet. He’d healed his broken legs with his blood magic just to
have them broken again during one of his beatings. A few days later when he’d
gone back to heal them again, Fenris begged him to just leave them broken. That
was enough to make Danarius hesitate to wipe his memory too quickly, though he
knew he’d have to. Fenris had quickly gone from defiance and insults to
pleading and that made the rest of the journey far more pleasant.
***** Chapter 2 *****
In the interest of keeping him well-behaved when they got home, he allowed
Fenris a second glimpse of Anders as they settled him into a lavish guest room.
He wanted him to see that the mage was looking better and being taken care of,
though that could easily change. It had done the trick and his pet was far more
compliant than he could have hoped for and wonderfully silent except for his
occasional pleas for mercy whenever his punishments were especially sharp.
The young elf who had been at Danarius’ side in Orlais had been stationed in
Anders’ room as his caregiver. She gave him potions and water, using pillows to
help keep him propped up so he wouldn’t choke. It had been a relaxing and
simple duty for her so she was happy to do it and had done her best to take
very good care of their unexpected guest. He was not chained in his bed but had
a collar made from it around his neck that would keep him from using the mana
she kept feeding into him. The girl sat on the edge of his bedside now, using a
damp rag to lightly dab his face as she often did to keep him cool during the
hottest hours of the day.
---
It was days into his stay in the guest room that his body recovered enough for
him to wake. When the rag pressed against his skin, cooling it, he made his
first sound since his screams and his fingers twitched. His eyes cracked,
giving only a glint of amber, before they shut and his head tilted to the side,
towards the hand that had been dabbing him. “Fenris,” he breathed, barely
audible.
---
“You’re awake.” A small voice that was certainly not the low rumble of Fenris
answered. She continued her work, gingerly pressing the cool rag to his skin.
“Let me get you some water. Just stay still, Ser Anders.”
---
The voice confused him, but he didn’t react to it or the continued touching.
“Anders,” he muttered, his voice raspy and dry, “Just Anders.” His eyes tried
to open again, but the light was too much and he winced as they fell shut once
more. “Where am I?” His tongue was sticky and he tried to swallow past it, but
he needed the water she was promising.
---
“Forgive me. Anders, it is.” She set the rag aside when she was finished and
rose to grab a pitcher of water from the bedside table. When she sat beside him
again with a glass of it, she used a small, delicate hand to the back of
Anders’ head to help prop him up a little more as she put the glass to his
lips. “You needn’t worry, you are safe.”
---
He drank the water eagerly, filling his empty stomach until it ached, but it
made him feel a lot better. He sank back into the pillows when he was done, his
eyes finally adjusting to the stinging light when he made another attempt to
open them, “I am safe, but where-...” His memories were a blur and filled with
pain, but he remembered them dragging him away and his heart jumped into this
throat. “Fenris, where is Fenris?! They took him, where is he?!” If they took
him, why wasn’t he dead?
---
“Please be calm.” The young girl murmured as she set the empty glass aside.
“Fenris is right at our master’s side where he belongs. You’re our guest and I
will be here to your every need.” She began to tuck him back into bed, sitting
him up to drink having disturbed the thin sheet over his body.
---
His eyes widened and he realized who she was and where they must be. No. His
body was weak, but he shot forward, managing to  make himself dizzy and he had
brace himself against the bed to keep himself from collapsing. “No. No, I have
to help him.” He tried to draw on his mana, which had been sitting at full
reserves for some time now, but nothing happened. Unlike the magebane, the
collar on his neck didn’t get rid of his mana, rather it cut him off from his
ability to use it. “What?” He tried to summon an arc of electricity, since
there was no reason he shouldn’t be able to, but there was nothing.
Justice?
He was greeted with silence.
---
“Please, you must relax.” The girl placed her hands on his shoulders and began
to gently urge him back toward the pillows. “Everything is quite alright.
Fenris is safe. Just lay back and let me take care of everything.”
---
“Don’t touch me!” he snapped, shoving her hands off of him. He realized himself
as soon as he was free of her hands and he shook his head. “Sorry, I just…
Don’t touch me.” He looked up at her, something desperate in his eyes. “You
have to help me. Take me to him so I can get him out of here.”
---
Her eyes went wide when she was shoved and she dropped to the floor at his
bedside in a bow. “Forgive me, ser. I will not touch you without your
permission again.” There was a note of fear in her soft voice and she looked
brace to take a strike from him. “I can not take you to Fenris. Please ask
something else of me. Could I bring you more water? Perhaps something to eat?”
---
He winced at her reaction and felt guilty, but it just wasn’t as important as
the reality of the situation. “Tell me why can’t I cast magic.” And why
couldn’t he hear Justice? That gave him near as much panic, but even it wasn’t
as important. The collar on his neck had been there for long enough that he’d
acclimated to the feel of it and he didn’t realize it was there.
---
“My master chose to harness your magic until he grows to trust you. I hope you
understand the precaution. I assure you, once the chain is off you will be able
to cast as you always have.” She was still kneeling on the floor, but had
relaxed a little and looked up to him, a little surprised that he hadn’t
punished her.
---
“No. No.” He was in denial of the situation. The mention of a harness had him
looking over himself and when he pressed a hand to his neck, he finally felt
the chain wrapped around it. “Fuck, no.” He looked at her desperately. “Take
this off of me and in return I will free you. We’ll take you with us when we
escape, I swear it.”
---
“I do not hold the key for that. And my place is here.” She could hardly look
at him when she said the words, but was trained better than to drop her eyes
when speaking to her betters. “I will ask for an audience with my master and
perhaps he will agree to remove it.”
---
Somehow he doubted that, but he didn’t understand what Danarius’ intentions
were for him. He wasn’t being treated like a slave, so it would seem he didn’t
intend on imprisoning him, though Fenris had told him in the past that
magisters were happy to collar ‘weaker’ mages, so why had he brought him? Why
hadn’t he left him to die? “Then go. Get him.” He knew better than to think he
could reason with him to release them, but he had to start somewhere.
---
She nodded and rose to her feet, scurrying off quickly to do as she was told.
It didn’t take long for her to return to his bedside, where she knelt once
again. “He says if you’re feeling well enough, you may join him in the dining
room. I’ll take you to my master if you are ready.”
---
He wasted no time jumping out of bed and only when he was on his feet, unsteady
as he was, did he finally realize his nudity. He lowered his hands to cover
himself, not really caring, but having no intention of going to meet Danarius
while he was naked. “Is there something for me to dress in?”
---
“Of course. We have prepared plenty of appropriate garb for you.” The girl rose
and went to a wardrobe where she pulled out a set of fine robes, a little plain
compared to what Danarius had worn the night before, but clearly of fine fabric
and detailing. “Will this serve? May I dress you, Anders?”
---
He couldn’t care less what it was and he grabbed the fabric, turning away from
her so he could pull it on. “No, that’s alright. I’ve got it.” He’d worn robes
fashioned after Tevinter styles before, so he already had experience in how to
put them on. It took a little trial and error to make it sit correctly and he
still looked a little ruffled when he was done, but again, he didn’t care.
“Okay, let’s go.” He sounded anxious, ready to see Fenris to make sure he was
okay.
---
“Come with me, Anders.” She said politely and lead the way out of the room. The
building was enormous and she guided him through long, winding hallways that
were immaculately decorated. Everywhere one looked, there was a slave to be
found cleaning, crafting, or working out in the yards below.
Finally they reached the dining room where a very long table was occupied by a
single man. Danarius had a small feast set out before him and he was picking at
whatever he liked from various different plates, eating leisurely with a book
open on the table for him to skim while he took his meal. Fenris was standing
at his right hand just behind his chair. The elf was in very poor shape, his
skin blistered from burns in many places visible beneath the new armor he’d
been given. He was also covered in scabbed over gashes, which seemed to largely
be concentrated over his tattoos where his master knew they would hurt the
most. When he caught sight of Anders being lead inside, Fenris’ eyes fixed on
him and his heart leapt into his throat.
“Anders…” He croaked his name, his voice long gone. He took a step toward him,
but with a flick of Danarius’ hand all of the wounds tore open and Fenris
gasped sharply as new blood coursed from them. “Back, little wolf.” Danarius
said firmly, his tone dangerous and Fenris reluctantly moved back to his place,
though his eyes never left Anders. The blood mage’s gaze moved to Anders and he
gestured to one of the many empty seats. “Please, sit down.”
---
As they made their way through the manor, he looked around at everything there
was to see. Impressive as it might be to some, he wasn’t admiring it, he was
trying to look for exits and ways out should the time come to escape. When they
got to the dining room, his eyes found Fenris and he froze, his mouth falling
open in horror. He saw the wounds split open and there was nothing that could
have stopped him from running up to him, not caring about the blood mage that
was sitting between them and speaking to him as he hurried to close the
distance.
---
When he saw the mage running for them, Danarius didn’t have to make a move.
There were two guards in the room beside Fenris and they quickly moved in to
block Anders’ path. “No, there will be none of that. You’ve had your hands all
over my property for long enough. Have a seat, Anders.”
---
Even when he was intercepted, he was trying to slip past them. The only thing
that mattered to him was his wounded lover that he was desperate to hold and
heal. “Let me… Let me see him!” he demanded, all but shoving the guards in his
frantic bid to get to him.
---
“It seems he’s not ready to have a conversation with me after all. Take him
back to his room. Solea, see that his meal is brought to him.” Danarius didn’t
seem to be surprised or pay the outburst much mind, simply returning to his
meal. “Anders…” Fenris croaked again desperately, longing to at least be in the
room with him a little longer but not daring to move closer again.
The guards began to take hold of him and turn him back toward the room, the
female elf meekly moving ahead to lead the way back down the hall.
---
“No, let go of me!” he yelled, too worked up at the sight of all his injuries
to worry about ‘winning favor’ from the man that held them captive in hopes of
seeing them freed. He hands shifted instinctively, clearly attempting to cast,
though nothing came from his gesturing. Justice, help me!He knew he wasn’t
there, or that he couldn’t do anything, but he was the picture of desperation
as he fought the guards dragging him away and he needed him. “Let go of me!”
---
They had nearly gotten Anders out of the room when Fenris lost his restraint.
He couldn’t stand to see his lover struggling so desperately to get to him and
though he knew it wasn’t going to end well, he bolted for the mage, relieved
that for the moment he had no broken bones in his legs. He only made it halfway
down the length of the table before he felt an unbearable heat in his veins as
Danarius made the bloodied wounds he’d reopened start to boil. He dropped to
his knees, crying out hoarsely and trying to tear at his own skin as if he
could pull the boiling blood from his body to make it stop.
Solea moved in closer to where the guards were dragging Anders along and
reached as if to touch his arm, then withdrew when she remembered her orders
from him. “Please, come with me, Anders. You will only get him in more trouble
if you stay.”
---
His heart leapt when he saw Fenris running for him and he reached out, as if to
catch him should he get close enough, but the longing reach turned frantic when
he fell. “Fenris!” he yelled, his struggling renewed, “Stop! Stop hurting him,
please!” He didn’t even seem to hear the slave trying to speak to him and
convince him to comply.
---
Danarius snapped his fingers and a couple more men filed into the room,
grabbing the howling elf on the floor and dragging him off to another room. The
guards were struggling to hold Anders as they pushed him along the hall, but it
was clear that they were trying their best not to hurt him as they moved him
along. The girl continued to ask him to come along and lead him and the guards
back down the hall to Anders’ room.
---
He only stopped yelling when he was back in his room and then he broke away
from the guards to get their hands off of him. “I want to speak to him!” he
snapped at them, even though he’d just wasted his chance to. Really, he wanted
to rip off his head, but he would have to start small and work his way up to
that.
---
The men turned to go back to their master once he was deposited in his room,
acting as if they didn’t hear the mage’s protest. Solea remained in the room
with him, her hands folded in front of her and looked up to him. “I’m sorry,
Anders. If you like, I can ask him again this evening to have an audience with
you.”
---
He turned his eyes on her and it was difficult for him to shut off his outrage,
but he managed to bite back further words and went over to bed where he sank
down onto it and put his hands in his face. What had they been doing to Fenris
and for how long? How long had he been out while he was suffering? He was
grateful that he was here, that he could do something, but he didn’t know how
long it would take to get them out of here and he couldn’t stand being unable
to protect him.
---
The elf girl moved to sit down in the chair where she’d spent much of the last
few days, posted near his bed and watching over him. She let him linger in his
sorrow in silence for some time before she spoke up softly. “...Is there
anything I can do to make you more comfortable? I know I can’t give you what
you really want right now, but surely there is something I can do?”
---
“Can you go?” He knew better than to think he would be allowed to be alone, but
he desired privacy, both for the sake his emotions and so he could begin
figuring out how to get them out of this. He hadn’t looked up from his hands
and he pulled his legs up in front of him, wrapping his arms around them so he
could tuck his face against his knees instead.
---
“...I’m not supposed to.” She murmured, looking down at her hands. “...But if
you like, I’ll stand outside the door. I’ll just step in if I hear someone
coming down the hall.” It was risky, but she could tell he needed at least a
moment alone to process all of this.
---
“Please.” He didn’t care where she went or what she did if she just left him
alone. His arms were tight around his legs and he was having a hard time
pulling in even breaths. The eerie silence in his mind was making him feel so
vulnerable in a way that was almost worse than the loss of magic. It felt like
a part of him was missing, but he couldn’t worry about that. If it wasn’t
because of the collar, he would figure it out later, it just didn’t matter
right now.
---
“Yes, ser.” She rose from her seat and walked to the door, peeking outside to
make sure the course was clear before she stepped out into the hallway. “Please
call for me when you get hungry. I fear I haven’t been able to give you a
proper meal in days.” With that, the pulled the door over, leaving it open only
a crack so she would hear him if he stirred from the bed.
---
He waited a few minutes, before slowly letting go of his legs and letting them
fall back to the floor. He rose carefully and started to look around the room.
He didn’t think there would be much to find, but he would be in a better spot
if he could get his hands on something. A weapon or… A key would be asking for
too much, but maybe he could find something to pick the lock with. He’d seen
Isabela pick so many locks over the years - why hadn’t he asked her to teach
him? Even if he found something and even if he knew what he was doing, there
was little chance the magister would’ve paired such powerful chains with a lock
that could be picked by hand, but it was a hope. He began to scour the room,
moving quietly as he could to avoid drawing attention to what he was doing.
---
He had plenty of time to explore the room, though there would be little to be
found as a weapon or a lockpick. The room was beautifully furnished and
decorated, but while it excelled in utility for comfort, it would be hard to
make use of it in any other way. Only when there were heavy footsteps coming
down the hall did the elf slip back into his room, closing the door quickly but
quietly behind her. “...I’m so sorry, ser. But if they find me breaking orders,
I’ll be punished again. My master has been very cross lately.”
---
He was on the floor and peering under the bed when she stepped back in. He shot
up and looked at her, relieved that it wasn’t anyone else, but also annoyed.
When she spoke, however, he softened a little and rose to his feet, acting as
if he hadn’t been doing anything of interest. “Don’t get yourself punished on
my behalf,” he told her, moving back to the bed and sitting down. He’d come up
with nothing - even the windows were locked with magic - and it was expected,
but he had to try.
---
She stood by the door, wringing her hands anxiously. She knew she wasn’t wanted
and she was used to making herself scarce when she wasn’t wanted. However, she
was also ordered to stay. Solea watched him with wary eyes, a little surprised
that he hadn’t told her to go right back outside. “...I’m sure you are
stressed, ser. May I help you to relax?”
---
“I’m fine, just-...” He sounded impatient and he pinched the bridge of his
nose, trying to calm himself. “What are they doing to him?” She had to know and
he needed to know. Even if it would break him to hear it, he had to know what
was happening to him so he wasn’t completely alone while he endured it.
---
“I’m not certain. I was assigned to care for you.” It was a relief. She didn’t
know Fenris well, having only been a child cupbearer when he ran away, but she
still didn’t want to be present for his punishment. “But our master has been
merciful. He is still whole.”
---
Merciful? He held back an angry scoff and lowered his hand to study her. “Don’t
you want to be free of him? Don’t you want to live a life without chains? If
you help me, I will get you out of here. I swear it.” He needed an ally and if
he could convince her to help him, perhaps he could get them out of this sooner
rather than later.
---
Her eyes went wide at the question and she shook her head immediately. “Chains?
Oh no, I’ve never worn chains. Master Danarius is very good to us. We’re
clothed, clean, well-fed. I was very lucky to gifted to him when I was little.”
She gave him a little quirk of her lips, the closest she could manage to a
smile. “He told me if I stay a good girl, he’ll give me lessons when I'm
older.”
---
There was pity in his expression and he shook his head solemnly. “I’ve never
seen stronger chains,” he murmured, looking away from her. He ended up liting
his hand back to his face, since burying it was the only comfort he could give
himself. This time he held it there, completely obscuring his vision and
falling into silence.
---
She didn’t understand the pity in his eyes and when he fell back into silence,
she frowned. Deciding she was best to leave him be since he wanted to be alone,
she stood as far away as she could from him, leaning against the wall and
closing her eyes to catch a moment of rest the way that Fenris used to catnap
standing up. It would almost be like he was alone and she’d be ready when he
called on her.
She knew just when it was Danarius’ dinner time and so she offered to take
Anders to meet him again after a quick trip to her master to make sure it would
be permitted. She lead the mage back down the hallways, hoping that this
meeting would be more productive since there was a distinctive lack of the
battered wayward elf in the room.
---
The time had passed slowly and he’d kept to himself. He’d thought of questions
here and there, but when it came to actually asking them, he couldn’t bring
himself to. He was distinctly aware of her presence, even though she didn’t so
much as move while the hours passed, but she still managed to startle him when
she finally offered to take him back to her master.
He agreed, of course, but he couldn’t see it going any better. He knew he
needed to get ahold of himself if they were going to exchange words, but it
wasn’t as if he was going to like anything he would hear and if Fenris was
standing there suffering, how was he supposed to ignore that? He sought him out
as soon as he stepped in into the room, but he was nowhere to be found and that
made him uneasy, though he willed his expression into something cold as he
approached the blood mage.
---
Danarius watched the mage approach his table with only mild interest. He was
prepared for more screaming and drama, which would make this another very short
exchange. “Would you like to have a seat, Anders?” He swirled the wine in the
jeweled goblet he held before raising it to his lips and sipping from it. Again
there was an array of food set out before him, but there was only a place set
for him. Solea stood back in the doorway, not moving any closer and prepared to
take Anders back to his room when this was over unless she was given other
orders before then.
---
Rather than speak, he lowered down into a chair and sat stiffly, his eyes fixed
with barely concealed hostility on the man. He’d left a chair of space between
them, so he wasn’t close to him, but they were still near. He had his
questions, of course, but he held his silence and waited. He would see what the
man had to say to him and then he would get down to what mattered.
---
He shifted his eyes to one of the slaves standing by and didn’t have to say a
word. The man had scurried away and returned a moment later with a plate for
Anders, filled with generous servings of the fine cuisine Danarius had set out
in front of him on platters. A little elf who could have been no older than
eight years of age moved forward with a gilded goblet and set it beside Anders,
having to stand up on his toes to see over the top of the glass to pour some
chilled summer wine into it for him.
Danarius didn’t watch them, knowing that they would provide properly for their
guest without any direction from him. He continued to pick lazily at his food,
his eyes roaming over the pages of the book open in front of him as it had been
earlier. He didn’t speak to the other, seeming to want to give him a chance to
indulge in dinner before he’d start to question him.
---
It appalled him to see the age of the boy that poured the wine and when
everything was set before him, he pushed it aside. He had no intention of
eating, even though his stomach felt like it was collapsing in on itself from
the scent alone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten… or he could. It
had been the night they’d been taken, of course, but he had no concept of how
long ago that had been.
---
He gave him awhile before finally glancing up and seeing that Anders had not
touched anything before him. He raised a brow and studied him. “I was told
Solea did not feed you as she was ordered. You need to eat. Since there does,
after all, seem to be some truth in your words about this...bond you have with
my boy.”
---
That’s why he was here. He’d seen him...collapse? - he couldn’t remember - and
took his words to be true. “I don’t want your food. I want Fenris and I want to
be released.” He was asking for a lot and he knew what the answer would be, but
anything else he might say would’ve been a lie. A lie that Danarius would see
right through with the way he’d behaved around his ‘pet’.
---
“I’m well aware of what you want, but after the hardship I’ve endured getting
him back, Fenris is never going to see the light of day again.” He took another
sip of his wine, watching him with piercing eyes. “But we both want to keep him
safe, do we not? I must insist that you eat.”
---
His hand curled into a fist and he couldn’t keep from scowling. “You bastard.
What have you done to him?!” There was no safety for him here and he would not
rest until he got him out of this place. “I will eat when you take this collar
off of my neck!” That was all he needed. The moment it came off, he would rain
lightning down on him until there was nothing left but a quivering corpse.
---
“Davion.” He turned his eyes to one of the numerous doorways leading into the
dining room and a hulking man appeared there a moment later. “Go give Fenris a
few more tastes of your whip. I’ll send someone to stop you when our guest
learns to treat his host with respect and eat his dinner.”
---
His eyes widened and it took all of his restraint to not leap across the table
at the man and strangle him. That or to knock all the platters off of it and
and throw them at him. “No!” he cut in sharply. “Don’t! I’ll eat, just leave
him alone.”
---
Davion hesitated and looked to his master to see if his orders would change.
“Sounds like it won’t be much of a beating. Go on, I’ll send someone to stop
you when he finishes his meal. Take Solea with you. Next time I tell her to
feed him, she’ll remember.” The girl in the doorway paled when she heard her
name, but did not hesitate to follow the man, her head low.
---
The look in his face was murder and his fingers twitched in a way that would’ve
brought flames to them if he had access to his powers. His fist tightened and
there was so much tension in him it seemed that he would lurch at him any
moment, but then he yanked the plate in and began to scarf it down as fast as
he could. He was practically choking himself on it, barely chewing, just
filling his stomach to the point of pain, though that was only half the plate.
Still, he shoved the rest away. “There! Stop him!”
---
It seemed Danarius found his attempt was reasonable because he looked to
another man in the room and the wordless order was understood, the elf hurrying
off in the direction the others had gone. “Better. Now would you like to talk
or shall I have you escorted back to your room?”
---
He felt sick and he needed something to wash it all down, but all he’d been
given was wine and even without Justice to reprimand him, he refused to touch
it. He needed to keep his wits about him. “You know my name. What else do you
know of me?” He assumed that he’d gotten it from Fenris and he wanted to know
what else he’d learned from him, if anything.
---
“Next to nothing. Your name seems to constitute half of Fenris’ vocabulary
these days.” He still absently plucked at a couple grapes on a platter of fruit
set in front him, but his eyes were fixed on Anders. “I’d like to know more
about this connection you have with my pet. Your reaction to be separated from
him was...extraordinary.”
---
His heart clenched to hear that Fenris had been calling for him and that he’d
been unable to go to him. To help him. His body couldn’t have been strung any
tighter and his teeth ached from how hard he was clenching them. When he went
on, he tried to focus on the change in subject, though it wasn’t really
something he wanted to get into with him. “My reaction?” He didn’t know what
had happened. He knew what was supposed to happen, but the magebane had
prevented it, so what had actually happened?
---
“You don’t remember?” It wasn’t terribly surprising. The trauma it had done to
him had taken the mage out of commission for a long time. “You were screaming
in voices that were not your own. Your skin was broken with light and you began
to bleed from your eyes. It was as if a demon was tearing you apart, yet I
sensed no demon within you.” It was his own demon who would have felt it, but
the force strangled by the magebane had been foreign to them both.
---
His brows lifted as he realized what must have happen. In spite of the
magebane, Justice must’ve taken over. He didn’t know what to make of the
bleeding, but he knew that if a mage pushed past beyond the point of mana
fatigue, it could easily kill them and he wondered if that was what had
happened. If Justice had truly broken through, it was a shame that he hadn’t
been able to take the asshole in front of him down with them. “Can’t say that I
remember that,” he confirmed, offering him no further input.
---
“Probably better for you that you don’t. My slave has nursed you well and it is
my intention to keep you healthy for Fenris’ sake.” It wouldn’t do for anything
to happen to him, even if he half-believed his slave would die.
---
“Here’s an idea,” he slipped in without missing a beat, “If you care so much
about Fenris, stop beating the shit out of him.” What was the point of keeping
him around and treating him like some ‘guest’, if he was just going to torture
the elf that he ‘cared’ so much about?
---
“I intend to. He just needs re-training. When he’s learned his place and wants
only to please me again, his life will be a great deal more comfortable.” He
explained this patiently, as if trying to get his point through to a child.
“Nothing I do will flaw his body permanently. If you die, on the other hand,
I’ll just have to skin him to get some of my investment back. It’s preferable
that I keep you well.”
---
His expression twitched, but he wasn’t going to tell him the truth. The truth
was the only thing that stood between him and dying. There was no doubt that if
he learned the connection was one-sided that he would kill him to get rid of a
nuisance. If he died, there would be no one to save Fenris...save perhaps
Justice.
“...I would be willing to be more compliant if you made it worth my while.” He
was in no position to demand anything, but that had never stopped him before.
---
“You would ask something of me?” He asked in a tone that was close to
amusement. “I’m letting you stay in rather comfortable chambers and you would
ask more? Curiosity has always gotten the better of me though. What more would
you ask?”
---
It didn’t matter to him what he was receiving, if Fenris wasn’t receiving the
same. “Let me go to him, let me heal him, and then stop hurting him. If I talk
to him… I can convince him to be obedient.” If it meant saving them, he had
little doubt that Fenris would do what he could, but really all it was a covert
suggestion to get his collar off.
---
“I have been healing him, Anders. You may remember that at part of that night,
the bones in his legs had been crushed to dust. Yet today, he ran to you. I’m
letting him wear his more superficial wounds for a reason, but they won’t scar.
I paid too much for his flesh to have it permanently marred.” The suggestion
made his eyes narrow though. Most other mages were poor healers and he’d have
expected the other mage to be surprised to see that he’d mended such bad breaks
as Fenris had sustained in a relatively short time.
---
“Blood magic is not healing,” he snapped, unable to help himself. He was
against blood magic in every form, but hearing him claim to offer ‘healing’ of
any kind was enough to rile him. Especially knowing what he did about Fenris’
experiences with it and his fears of being healed. That he was going through
all of this again broke his heart. “Let me heal him properly and we will both
be more compliant.”
---
“Proper healing?” Danarius looked intrigued, his fingers resting on one of the
grapes on his plate though he was too distracted by the conversation to keep
playing with them. “If not blood magic, it must be creation. We don’t see much
of that in these parts. ...But there is more to it than that, isn’t there?
Whatever else was trying to get out of you that night.”
---
“...I’m asking little of you. I just want to heal him and to make sure that he
is no longer hurt.” If that was all that could be accomplished, it would be
true. It was all that mattered to him. Keeping him safe and freeing him. If
keeping him safe was all he could manage, then he would do it.
---
“Hurt is an important part of his retraining. But I am interested in
your...abilities. Perhaps if you’re a more tolerable guest tomorrow, I’ll allow
you to give me a demonstration. Fenris can be quite a handful when I’m mending
him.” Even when he was trying to be a good boy, it was very hard to hold still
through a long healing session.
---
Hope rose in his chest and even hearing a glimpse of what Fenris was going
through wasn’t enough to dampen it. “Very well. ...Thank you.” It took some
effort getting that out, but if he would really allow him the chance to show of
his abilities, then that was all that he needed. Done with this conversation,
he sat back, appearing more relaxed with what had been concluded. “Might I
return to my chambers?”
---
“You may.” He sounded content with this improvement in attitude and called for
Solea. When the girl walked back in, she didn’t hesitate to move to her master
though it was clear she was shaking and her dark robes were clinging to her
back in a way that suggested they were wet. “Take him back to his room. See
that he has every comfort you can provide.”
She nodded and gave him a rather sweet smile despite her tremors and turned to
Anders, bowing her head to him before moving to lead the way back. It likely
wouldn’t take too many trips for Anders to learn the labyrinth that was this
palace, at least this route to the dining room, but she would still guide him
as long as it was her master’s wish.
---
The pain she was in was plain to him and he could see the blood soaking into
her clothes as she lead him back. He hadn’t wanted her to be punished because
of him and he felt guilty, but he all he could think about was what the state
of Fenris’ back must be. There was a terrible twinge of relief, one that he
refused to acknowledge, that if the punishment had been split between them,
that Fenris hadn’t been punished for as long.
When they got to the room, he approached her slowly. “Solea, is it?”
---
“It is, ser.” As he moved closer, she looked up to him with eyes that were warm
despite her discomfort. “What may I do for you?” She was a little surprised
that he was addressing her at all. If anything, she expected him to send her
away again.
---
“Can you bring me bandages and any healing salves that you have access to? I’ll
need some warm water and a clean rags as well.” He couldn’t take care of Fenris
right now, so he would take care of her. He would have preferred to heal her
properly, but since he didn’t have access to his magic, he would have to take
care of her wounds traditionally.
---
“Yes, ser. Please make yourself comfortable.” She bowed her head slightly and
left the room, returning soon afterward with her arms laden in supplies. The
elf set the bucket of water and rags on the floor, then deposited the bandages
and salves on the bedside table. She moved to him and her fingers lifted to
find the fastenings on his robes, but she hesitated when she remembered his
order not to touch him. “May I disrobe you, Anders?”
---
The question surprised him and he took a step back from her. “No, that’s
alright.” He intended on staying fully clothed around her.  “With your consent,
I would like to tend to your wounds.” He wouldn’t force her to accept his help,
but he would try to convince her if she was reluctant to take it. He didn’t
intend on treating her like a slave and so if she refused to let him, for fear
or any other reason,  he would back off.
---
She looked surprised, but there was no hesitance in her nod of agreement. “Of
course. Anything you like, ser.” Why he would want to do that, she had no idea,
but she was not about to deny his request. Her hands busied themselves with her
own robes instead, needing only seconds to make them drop away and pool at her
feet. She looked even younger with her bare body unobscured by the robes, her
build dainty even for an elf. Her skin was flawless save for the new lashes
across her back, her arms were at her side to leave her open to his hands. She
watched him expectantly, waiting for his hands to seek her small breasts since
that is where the hands of men tended to start.
---
Of course, she managed to take his request as an order of sorts. He was
perfectly capable of remaining in a medicinal state of mind around naked
bodies, but he couldn’t help but turn his eyes away from her when she bared
herself to him. The fact that she was following orders and that she seemed to
think he had certain expectations of her made it difficult for him to look at
her.
“No, it’s not what about what I would like. Is that what you would like? Would
you like me to take care of your wounds?” He wanted to make it clear that this
was for her and not for him.
---
For a moment, Solea just stared at him as if he’d spoken to her in some foreign
tongue. Was this a game? He’d already told her what he’d like to do and so she
felt confident in her answer, though there was a nervous waver in her tone. “I
would like that very much, ser.” She would prefer that his expectations be
direct and easy to understand, but she watched him intently in hopes that she
was doing the right thing.
---
Not much better, but she wasn’t refusing. He had to remind himself that she was
a slave and she probably wasn’t meant to refuse, but he didwant to treat her,
so he decided to let it go. “Then please lay down on your stomach.” He moved to
grab the bucket and the rags, waiting for her to get comfortable and give him
access to her lashes.
---
The girl did just as he asked, settling on the bed on her stomach with her
hands beneath her chin to prop her head up. Her lashes were deep, the flesh
around them red and swollen, but there were not many. She wasn’t entirely sure
what to expect, having never had her wounds tended to in such a way, but she
trusted it would not be as bad as the whip itself.
---
He felt better when she was on her stomach and he approached her, looking over
the wounds carefully. They were likely to get infected, if left as they were,
but the salve he would apply should take care of it and he imagined, from
looking at the rest of her, that Danarius wouldn’t keep her like this for long.
Even so, he knew what it was like to have lashes left untreated and wouldn’t
wish such pain on anyone.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and began to clean her wounds, dipping a rag
in the water and running it over her back to get rid of the blood that had
flown down it. His hand was gentle, barely brushing her skin, and he was
careful not to press against any of the wounds directly. He was thorough in his
work and it took him a while until he was satisfied that her skin was prepared
for the next step.
“This may sting, so tell me if it becomes too much and we’ll take a break,
alright?” he murmured, reaching for the different jars and bottles that she had
brought. He opened each and examined them closely, sniffing to get an idea of
what was in each. When he found what he wanted, he used a clean rag to begin
applying what seemed to be some kind of liquid to the wounds in soft dabs.
---
“You are very kind, Anders.” She had answered him, knowing she would not
interrupt him no matter how badly it hurt. But his touch was so gentle that she
could easily tolerate the light sting regardless. She wasn’t sure how to
process this gentle care and she began to tremble lightly as he worked, as she
had been when she’d received her new orders from Danarius right after her
punishment.
---
He was very attentive when it came to his patients and so he noticed her
trembling immediately. “Does it hurt?” He hadn’t replied to her comment about
his kindness, but he could imagine that she hadn’t known much kindness in her
life. He felt sympathy for her and even if she didn’t help him, he wished to
get her out of here. He wished he to get them all out of here, but Fenris was
his focus and anything else would have to come after.
---
“No. It feels nice, actually.” It stung, but the salve was soothing as were his
careful touches. Yet she continued to tremor slightly, his handling of her so
different than anything she was used to. After a beat of silence, she spoke up
again very quietly. “He asked about you. I told him I was watching you and you
were safe.”
---
He froze and stared at the back of her head. “Was he… was he okay?” He knew
what her answer would be, but he wanted to hear that he hadn’t been injured
badly. If he’d eaten quickly enough, maybe they hadn’t even gotten to him and
he managed to escape unscathed. He’d already been hurt and the idea of them
adding even more wounds on top of the burns and the gashes that he’d
accumulated was a tormenting thought.
---
“He is alright. He was relieved to hear that you are well.” She was likely not
supposed to be relaying any of this. But since he was going out of his way to
do her a kindness, she could do so as well. It wasn’t directly disobeying an
order, after all.
---
He was silent for a long time, his throat thick and his heart throbbing. “If
you see him again before I do,” he started, his voice strained, “will you tell
him that I…” That he was going to get them out of here, but he wasn’t really
sure if he could trust her to relay such a message. After some consideration,
he changed where he was going with his request. “Tell him that I love him.”
---
“I will tell him.” Solea assured him, her hands moving aside so she could rest
her cheek on the mattress. She had positioned herself low enough on the bed to
avoid his pillows, knowing she was not to rest on them unless he put her there
himself. “Perhaps our master will let you see him tomorrow.”
---
That was what he’d said, so Anders was determined to be as tolerable as
possible until he was allowed to see him. “I’m going to finish up with your
wounds,” he told her, changing the subject. He finished applying the liquid to
them and then pulled a different jar closer. It was filled with paste and he
began to apply with yet another clean rag, until every lash was liberally
coated. “Alright, sit up so I can bandage you.”
---
She was still shaking lightly when she sat up, keeping her back to him so he
could cover her wounds that no longer burned. “I...don’t know how to thank you,
Anders.” She wanted to, of her own accord and not just because it was her duty,
but she had no idea what he wanted. Something he wanted that she could give
him, anyway.
---
He wrapped her up, giving the bandages just the right amount of tension that
they would stay snug on her without being too tight. When she was finished, he
stood and began to clean up. “Don’t worry about it, it’s what I do. You need
some rest, though, so why don’t you get under the covers and go to sleep?” He
dropped the dirty rags and water near the door, so they could be taken out
later, and even folded up her bloody clothes to drop them into the bucket so
they might soak. They probably weren’t salvageable, but it would help prevent
them from staining.
---
“I am not due for sleep, I will watch over you while you rest, ser. But I will
lay with you for the night if you like.” She moved to one side of the spacious
mattress, slipping beneath the sheets as he had suggested. Solea was a little
spoiled, often getting to spend her nights on soft beds like this rather than
in the slave quarters with the others who were being granted rest.
---
“I don’t think I will be sleeping tonight,” he told her, moving to occupy the
nearby chair that she’d taken to sitting in while he was knocked out. It was
better that she might use the bed, since it would otherwise be wasted on him.
Her refusal to sleep was not unfamiliar and his thoughts, once again, turned to
Fenris. “If you will not sleep, then try to rest at least.”
---
“I will. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, ser.” She
curled up, starting to relax and looking quite content. She didn’t understand
the guest she was serving, but he’d certainly provided her with a very easy
evening.
***** Chapter 3 *****
The next day had been a relatively calmer affair. Solea had taken Anders to the
dining room for three meals with her master. Fenris wasn’t present for any of
them and so things had been quiet with minimal conversation. Still, Danarius
seemed pleased with the way things had gone and so when he’d finished his last
meal of the day, he looked to Anders with a spark of intrigue in his gaze. “I
think it’s time you showed me what kind of healing you can provide. Are you
willing to give me the demonstration if I adjust your collar, Anders?”
---
He’d been anxiously awaiting this all day, but when he mentioned adjusting the
collar, his heart stuttered. “Adjust it?” He wasn’t going to take it off? It
would be stupidity for him to, but that was exactly what he’d been banking on.
That he would be stupid enough to give him access to all of his powers.
---
“Yes, just a little tweaking. I can allow you a small amount of access to your
creation magic.” He smirked, reading the dismay in the other mage. “But you did
ask if you could heal Fenris, did you not? You don’t need access to any other
magic for that.”
---
“I thought you wanted a demonstration? I can’t properly demonstrate what I can
do if you don’t give me full access to my abilities.” In a way that was true,
his skill went beyond baseline creation magic and he might end up stifling it,
but that wasn’t why he was pushing.  
---
“One step at a time. I’d like to see what you can do with a little creation
magic first. If you prove skillful, I will consider making further
alterations.” Danarius stood from his seat, a slave moving in swiftly to pull
the chair out of his way so he would not have to move it himself when he
started to move for Anders. “Just sit still and I will unleash a little of your
magic.”
---
He was upset, but he managed to keep it off his expression. For the most part.
If nothing else, he did want to take care of Fenris, so he gave a nod of
consent and stayed where he was, waiting for him to make his adjustment. It
would feel good to have some of his magic returned and he was hopeful that with
it, Justice might still come forth.
---
Danarius stood behind Anders and withdrew a small instrument from a pocket of
his robes that looked something like the lockpicks Isabela kept hidden on her
person. He toyed with the collar, the contact between the metal and the tool
that controlled it humming with power. It didn’t take long and he stepped back
when he was finished, tucking the tool away once more. “Feel any different?
I’ve heard it is quite pleasant to have it loosened.” Anders was far from the
first mage he’d collared and some of them actually wept with joy to feel just a
little of their power return.
---
He could feel the change and his eyes shut, savoring it for just a moment.
Justice?  He almost expected nothing, but somewhere in the deep recesses of his
mind, something brushed against his consciousness. There were no words, not
even a dissonant emotion, but he knew what it was and the relief it gave him
made him sag. His eyes reopened and he looked up at the magister, internally
trying to summon his primal magic, but it felt as if it didn’t exist at all,
which was so very jarring when he could sense the light hum of power within
himself.
“Are we going to see Fenris?” he asked, as if he hadn’t had the thought to
smite him on the spot.
---
“I'm afraid not. Fenris has been fairly well-behaved today. I'd hate to get him
all worked up from seeing you so close to bed time. I have another subject on
hand I'd like you to heal.” Danarius gestured for Solea to come forward and
with a simple downward twirl of his fingers, she knew what he wanted of her.
She quickly undressed, letting her robes fall to the floor heedless of the many
eyes in the room and turned her back. When he saw the bandaging, his eyes
widened. “...Is this your doing, Anders?”
---
That was not what he wanted to hear and with effort he limited his scowl to a
frown. “I told you before, if you let me speak to him, I can help convince him
to be obedient.” When Solea came forward and stripped, his eyes flicked to her
and his frown lessened slightly, since he had wanted to heal her in the first
place. He tore his eyes away at the surprised voice and gave a shrug, not
caring if he overstepped a boundary. “I’m a healer, what did you expect?”
---
“I didn't expect traditional healing from you. Especially not wasted on a slave
too dull to follow simple orders. She must have been good to you last night to
win such a favor.” He gestured for Anders to go to her. “Go on. Let's see some
of your ‘proper’ healing.”
---
His lips thinned, but he didn’t bother to correct his assumption. He could
think what he wanted. He rose to his feet and made his way over to her. He
started to unwrap the bandages carefully, using the same light touch he had the
night before. The lashes looked far better than they had before his treatment,
but still raw. “This won’t hurt,” he assured her quietly, before hovering his
hand over her back. The wounds really weren’t that bad in terms of what he
needed to do, so when the light poured from his hand, he affected them all at
once and they came together seamlessly within seconds, leaving not a mark
behind. It took decent amount of mana to do it in such a way, but he had plenty
to spare.
---
“Impressive.” Danarius was awed by the speed in which it had happened, knowing
it would have taken him several minutes to stick together wounds like those
with blood magic. “Solea?”
The girl had tensed despite his warning but relaxed the moment the warm magic
seeped into her. When she was addressed, she turned her head toward her master
and smiled. “It didn’t hurt at all, master. It felt...nice.”
The blood mage moved in closer, though he didn’t need to get close to see that
he’d left he skin entirely flawless. “How quickly can you heal more dire
wounds? Broken bones, ruptured organs?”
---
He took a step back from her and watched him inspect his work. “It depends on
the wound and how much power I exert. In extreme situations, I can bring
someone back from the brink of death in seconds, it just drains me.” He
reserved such power for the battlefield when his companions were about to fall
and he hadn’t exerted himself beyond the ability to do so. “It’s far easier to
work on wounds up close and one at time, rather than healing the entire body at
once.”
---
“But you could heal an entire body at once? I think you’re right, Anders. Your
method of healing is far superior to mine.” He was still standing behind the
elf girl and in a movement so quick it could barely be seen, he drew a dagger
from within his robes and jammed it into her back, twisting it. Before she
could even cry out, he withdrew the blade and took a step back. “Let’s see how
quickly you can mend that.”
---
His eyes widened and he paled. “What is wrong with you?!” he blurted out,
before rushing forward and catching her. He set his hand over the wound,
focusing his energy on it and with another rush of light that was obscured
between their skin, he mended it. Though he had been right to think that his
powers would be stifled from the collar and it took a little more effort than
it normally would to deal with such a deep wound. When his hand withdrew, the
skin was flawless, but Anders turned to face the magister, putting himself
between them and using his body as a shield.
---
When Anders released her, Solea lowered to her knees briefly, panting softly
and pale with shock. But she knew better than to stay that way and when she
could, she pushed herself up to stand on shaking legs. Danarius watched all of
this with a smirk, still holding the dripping blade in his hand. “Color me
impressed. I think your presence here could be quite useful.”
---
He resented his words, having heard the same from templars and the knight-
commander over the years. There was a reason why they’d been so...lenient with
him during his many escape attempts. As a spirit healer, he was highly valued
for his talents and he’d been treated better than many of his fellow mages
until the very end.  
“If you allow me heal Fenris, I’ll make myself as useful as you want me to.”
If he refused, he wasn’t healing shit for him.
---
“I plan to let you heal my wolf. I’m going to have some guests over tomorrow to
celebrate his return. I think if both of you make the day go smoothly, I will
let you mend him. If you can convince him to behave, he may not need healing
again for awhile.” He mused, then turned his eyes to Solea. Since she seemed to
have fulfilled her duty in this demonstration, he gestured for her to dress.
---
Guests? He wasn’t sure what that meant but if meant he could heal him, then
that was all he wanted. “Fine, are we done here?” He didn’t want to be in his
presence for a moment longer. If he wasn’t going to be allowed to heal Fenris
right now, he was done with this.
---
“We are. Solea can take you back to your room. She’ll prepare you for my guests
tomorrow, I’m sure they’d be very interested to hear about your magic. I think
seeing you will keep Fenris on his best behavior, don’t you?” Danarius handed
the bloodied dagger off to a nearby slave to be cleaned, already heading out of
the dining room without waiting for an answer.
---
He frowned as he watched him go, not sure what he meant by that, but it made
him wary after what he just witnessed from him. When he was gone, he turned to
look at Solea, glad to see that she was dressed. “Let’s go,” he muttered o her,
not wanting anyone else to hear, even though the only people that were around
were slaves. He started out of the room, leading rather than following, since
he’d already learned the path to the dining room.
---
Solea followed along silently, walking easily as if nothing had happened. Only
when they reached his room did she speak up, her voice soft and timid.
“....That was incredible, Anders. A wound like that would have taken a long
time to heal and the spell stitching would have hurt more than the wound
itself. What you did was-...thank you so much.”
---
When the door was shut, he turned to face her. “I’m sorry that he did that to
you,” he told her, his voice just as soft. “He shouldn’t have hurt you.” He
couldn’t believe that he would stab her just to see what he could do. He’d
already shown him and there was no need for him to make him do it again when he
didn’t need to.
---
“It’s quite alright. I was just lucky that your healing is as skillful as he
thought.” She gave him a smile and folded her hands in front of herself. It
seemed that she wasn’t terribly concerned about what might have happened if
Anders had not been so adept at healing. “Is there anything I can do for you
tonight?”
---
“If you’re ever wounded again, just tell me. I have access to my healing now,
so I’ll help you whenever you need it.” He made his way over to the bed and sat
down at the foot of it, rubbing his face with a hand. “I think I’m going to try
to sleep tonight.” He had a feeling he was going to need to recharge to prepare
for whatever was coming tomorrow. If Fenris was as wounded as he had been
before, it would be draining to take care of him.
---
She moved to the chair near his bed, settling down into it and looking relieved
to do so. “You are too kind, ser. I will watch over you as you sleep. Tomorrow
you’ll dine in here since my master will be preoccupied. I’ll prepare a bath
for you in the morning and find something suitable for you to wear for his
guests.”
---
“That isn’t necessary, but if you must.” He would prefer that she didn’t but he
wasn’t going to give her orders. He worked off his boots and then shifted back
so he could lay down at the pillows. With the robes he was wearing, he didn’t
bother to get under the sheets, curling up on his side and craving the strong
arms he was use to feeling at night. He shut his eyes, but his expression was
troubled as he thought about Fenris and wondered where he was. He was so close,
but so far away and it made him ache terribly.
***** Chapter 4 *****
As she’d promised, breakfast was brought to his room when he woke and while he
ate, she drew a warm bath for him. She had offered to wash him, already knowing
that he’d insist on doing it himself, and gave him privacy as he cleaned up.
She had set out exquisite robes for him - a deep blue garb made of lightweight
silks, detailed with silvery jewels and embroidery. When he was dressed and
ready, the elf brought him a couple books to help pass the time as the other
slaves bustled around the hallways to make preparations. It wasn’t until closer
to dusk that the manor began to buzz with sound, music and conversation
drifting from a central ballroom as more and more people gathered.
“Are you ready to go, Anders?” Solea asked him softly when she knew it was time
for them to join the others. There was a subtle empathy in her tone, as if she
knew that this was not going to be easy for the healer.
---
He didn’t really like the robes he’d been given. Smooth as the fabric was, they
were more elaborate than any he’d worn before and it had been an event getting
them on. He’d glimpsed himself in the looking glass and found he looked nothing
like himself, far more handsome and put together than he ever bothered to make
himself, but he hadn’t really like what he’d seen. He didn’t feel like himself
and a lot of it had nothing to do with his appearance, but seeing himself
looking so impeccable when he felt like the world was crumbling at his feet… It
wasn’t right.
When Solea spoke, he looked up from the book he’d been given earlier that day.
He hadn’t gotten through much of it, too caught up in his thoughts to really
pay attention and he’d only managed a couple of chapters by the evening. He
shut the book and stood up, almost eager, “Yeah, let’s go.” He had a feeling
that this was going to be bad, but nothing mattered but Fenris. He had to see
Fenris.
---
Solea was still dressed rather plainly herself, lovely and elegant but nothing
that would catch the eye the way Anders’ robe would. For the second time that
day she lead him somewhere other than the dining room - earlier it had been to
the bath and now it was toward the growing sound of revelry.
The massive ballroom was filled with people, aging from very old mages chatting
with each other to very small children scurrying around with decanters to
refill wine glasses. Some of the guests were dressed to impress, gilded with
more gold and jewels than actual fabric. Others, slaves, were entirely nude.
Some were dancing, some were poised as part of the decor like statues, others
were on the laps of mages or bent over tables, letting the guests have their
way with them while the other attendants paid no mind.
They didn’t get far into the room before people took notice of the unfamiliar
man Solea was leading. They were first approached by a man that looked to be on
the far side of middle age, his hair silvered and his regal, disdainful face
lined around his eyes and mouth. He stopped the two of them by catching Solea
by the arm and pulling her in close as if she was actually attached to Anders
and she was the leash to yank him in close. “Are you the healer? The one who
can mend flesh in seconds?”
---
Stepping inside the room, Anders had to stop in the entranceway as he took in
the sights all around him. He’d never seen such debauchery in his life and his
initial reaction was to flush, but when he realized just what was happening,
seeing the naked slaves sprinkled around the room, his heart sank. The way they
were being regarded was reprehensible and he had to tear his eyes away from all
the different ways they were being abused and used.
“Where’s Fenris?” he asked anxiously, wondering why he’d not been called in to
heal him before this started.
That was when they were approached and he could barely keep the aversion of his
expression as he was questioned. He stepped up to Solea and took her arm.
“Sorry, I’m busy looking for someone and she’s guiding me. If you don’t mind.”
He tugged on her, making clear his intention to get away from the man and to
take the girl with him.
---
“Very well.” The man sounded displeased, unused to being blown off, but he
released the girl so Anders could continue on with her. If this was the healer,
he’d find out about it before the night was through. Solea hadn’t seemed to
mind the strange man pulling her around, but she was just as compliant when
Anders tugged her back toward him. She bowed her head to the man before
continuing to lead Anders forward, only speaking up to him when they were
blended with the crowd once more. “I’m sure that Fenris is near our master,
ser.” Who would, of course, be at the head of the room.
Danarius was seated at one of the many tables set up at the far side of the
ballroom, sipping at his wine with a handful of other mages who looked far too
important to converse with the rest of the crowd. He was watching people step
up to the gilded cage in the middle of the tables where they could see that his
long lost wolf had been found and tamed once more. Fenris was nude and the
shackles around his neck and limbs were spiked, forcing him to stay upright in
a warrior’s pose that displayed his musculature lest he relax and let the sharp
edges dig into his flesh.
His wounds from his previous punishment were gone, replaced by a more
decorative alternative. His body had been carved in an intricate pattern that
complimented the tattoos already etched into his body, the new wounds covering
most of the bare skin the tattoos hadn’t previously marked. These cuts in him
had an almost scorched look to them, clearly the work of a boiling blood magic
and no normal blade. Fenris’ eyes were closed, having no wish to watch the
people gawk at him. If it wasn’t for the ragged breathing giving away his
effort to stay motionless to avoid the spikes, it might as looked as if he was
sleeping through this display.
---
As soon as he caught sight of the cage, his breath caught. He’d since released
Solea and though he’d been staying close to her until then, he broke away from
her and ran past the tables into the middle of the display, not caring who else
was there. “Fenris, my love,” he nearly cried, his hands coming to wrap around
the bars of the cage as he threw himself against it. He clutched at the bars
tightly, as if he would be able to break them open with his bare hands and go
to him.
---
Fenris’ eyes snapped open when he heard the voice he knew among all the strange
voices in the crowd and found his lover. He instinctively pressed forward,
hardly seeming to notice the metal sinking into his skin and painting his skin
with fresh streams of blood. “Anders…” He just had time to choke out his name
before the guards were there, pulling the mage to yank him off of the bars.
“You may look, but hands off.” One of the men said gruffly and looked as if he
was about to peel his fingers from the bars if it took breaking them. Solea had
caught up by then and put a hand on the guard’s arm to still him before looking
to Anders. “It is not my place, but please don’t do this, Anders. If you want
to heal him, you must let go.” She glanced nervously to Danarius who seemed to
be watching the scene and the attention it was drawing with quiet amusement,
though she knew that could change in a heartbeat.
---
As soon as the hands were on him, he was struggling, refusing to let go. Until
Solea cut in. He heard her words and his heart skipped at the mention of
healing. He’d told Danarius that he could heal an entire body at once and when
he let go of the bars, he intended to prove it. Fuck the magister and his
‘display’. He took a step back and from where he was, he hands fell to his
sides and then his palms lifted as if lifting an invisible weight in front of
him and as they rose the wounds that covered his entire body began to fade. By
the time his hands were above his shoulders, they were completely gone in an
incredible show of healing. When that was done, he his hands fell and he took a
stumbling step back, but managed to catch himself and hold steady.
---
For a long moment, the crowd had gone dead silent as they watched the bloodied
warrior’s skin clear. But once the first person began to clap, the room erupted
in cheers. Danarius’ voice quieted them to a dull roar, his presence demanding
of their attention even as worked up everyone was over the spectacle.
“Magnificent, isn’t he? The healer my little wolf dragged in.”
Solea was trying to pull Anders back further from the cage, despite her orders
not to touch him, but it was too late. The mage was being swarmed by the crowd,
people grabbing at him and demanding that he heal some ailment or another.
---
When everyone closed in, he was struck by an unexpected attack of
claustrophobia. He broke away from the hands every time he was touched, but no
matter where he went there were more reaching for him. It became too much and
soon he was shoving people away from him and yelling, “Don’t touch me!” If he
had the ability to do so, he would have blasted all of them away from him just
to be free of the crowd.
---
Fenris saw the healer struggling to get away from the greedy hands and he began
to fight fruitlessly at his bindings. He snarled and spat curses in his native
tongue, thrashing despite the pain of the metal tearing into him. Danarius
still looked unphased by this disruption and with a wave of his hand, more
guards moved in. The crowd reluctantly parted for them when they stepped in and
took hold of Anders, starting to pull him from the room with Solea scurrying
alongside them.
---
“Fenris!” he cried, struggling violently and mussing up his pristine
presentation as he fought to return to the cage. There was a tearing sound as
the robe he was wearing ripped, but he didn’t even notice. He’d only glimpsed
his lover and it was not enough. He needed him and he didn’t even notice the
tears welling in his eyes as he was torn from him once again.
---
The guards made quick work of parting the lovers a second time, pulling Anders
forcefully from the room despite his struggles. They didn’t slow when they left
the ballroom, taking him all the way back to his bedroom. Though she’d followed
along obediently, Solea was still shoved into the bedroom with the flailing
mage before the door was closed behind them and locked.
---
Though the door was locked, he threw himself against it and banged on it until
his fists were raw, until his knees gave out and he sank to the floor in front
of it, sobbing uncontrollably. He dropped his face into his hands and felt the
warmth in his cheeks as they grew hot from his distress.
---
The elven girl gave him his space as he collapsed, letting him have his sorrow
without intervention that she imagined was unwanted. But she couldn’t watch his
suffering for long and eventually moved to kneel at his side. “...I’m sorry,
Anders.” The words were whispered and she gingerly reached out to stroke her
fingers over his hair, a gesture of comfort she remembered from the days she’d
still been with her mother.
---
The touch made him flinch, but reminded him that he wasn’t alone and he sucked
in a shuddering breath as he brought his hands down and hastily wiped at his
cheeks, even though it did him little good in pulling himself together. His
amber eyes fell on her and they continued to well, but he was swallowing his
heartache down and though they glinted in the dim light of the room, nothing
further was darting down his cheeks.
---
When he flinched, she withdrew her hand quickly. She watched him anxiously, not
knowing what to expect of him in this state but not anticipating to be struck
by him. “I’m sorry.” She murmured again, though whether it was for touching him
or pity for his situation, it was difficult to say. Really, it was both.
---
“...It’s not-... You didn’t-...” He couldn’t find words and he gave up, sinking
back against the door and shutting his eyes. It made what had been lingering
along his lashes fall, but his breaths were slowly calming and it seemed the
rest of him was following. His fingers found purchase in his robes and he held
on tightly, expressing himself that way instead.
---
She stood when he settled, moving to the bedside table. There was a pitcher of
water there as well as a couple leftover mana potions that she had been giving
him in the days he’d spent unconscious in this room. She carried them to his
side and sat down near him, giving him a little space. “Will you take this?
Please?” She asked, offering him a potion tentatively.
---
It took him a moment to open his eyes, but when he did he eyed at what she had.
He recognized it immediately and after a delay needed to gather himself, he let
go of his robes to take the potion from her. He could sense the lyrium inside
as soon as he touched it and he popped off the cork to knock it back. It helped
to replenish him, but he didn’t really feel any better for it. “Thank you,” he
murmured, his hand falling to the ground where he let the bottle slip from his
grasp.
---
She tore a small piece of fabric from her robe and tipped the pitcher of water
until she was able to dampen her makeshift rag with it. There was a soft
crackling from her fingers as she used a hint of magic to cool it. “...May I?”
She asked softly as she leaned in as if she meant to dab his raw, heated cheeks
the way she had been when he’d woken.
---
The magic caught his attention and he stared at her. “You’re a mage?” He wasn’t
sure why he’d assumed otherwise. He just had. It seemed she was such an
obedient slave that she didn’t have to wear a collar, harmless to her master
because she’d never dare to use her magic against him. He’d give anything to be
free of his collar, but he doubted that he ever would be, not unless he got it
off himself.
---
“Barely. My master will teach me more when I am older if I prove my worth.” She
moved the cloth in a little closer, but still didn’t take it upon herself to
touch him again. “May I? Please?”
---
He didn’t know what to say to that, so he chose to say nothing. When she
repeated her request, he gave an apathetic nod - he didn’t really want to be
taken care of, but he couldn’t muster the effort to fight her. He remained
still, letting her do as she wanted to tend to him, his eyes fixed at nothing
in particular.
---
When she had his permission, she finally reached to close the distance so she
could do what she could to soothe him. She pressed the cool rag to his skin,
wiping gently at the places where tears had stained his cheeks. She treated his
face and neck with the water she had chilled, then gingerly worked the rag over
his hair so some of the coolness would reach his scalp.
---
Even though he hadn’t wanted it, it was helping him and his eyes drifted shut
as he relaxed against the door. The coolness was soothing and the tension in
his body seemed to be easing the longer she spent on running it over him. Even
his heart, which had been pounding harshly, was falling into a lighter beat as
he was given compassion that he never would have expected from this place.
---
Since it seemed to be helping, she continued her work, dampening the rag and
cooling it again whenever it became too dry. When he had relaxed enough that
she wondered if he might be sleeping, she spoke up in a whisper. “May I help
you get to bed, Anders? I can tuck you in so you can rest.” She knew he didn’t
want her bodily comforts, so she added the suggestion to prevent him thinking
that she was offering herself to him again.
---
The question made his eyes reopen and he looked at her expressionlessly, before
answering in a similar nod. He was exhausted and sinking into the bed so he
could fall into a dream and think about something else for a time sounded
wonderful. He started to push himself up and it was clear as he staggered to
his feet that he was putting minimal effort into actually moving.
---
Solea rose when he did and when he staggered, she put a slender arm around his
waist to support him. Small as she was, she took what she could of his weight
and walked him carefully to the bed before helping to settle him on the
mattress. He was only partially covered by his ruined robes so she pulled the
thin sheet up over him, tucking him in with all the gentleness of a mother
putting her child to bed for the night.
---
He sank back into the bed and when the blanket was pulled over him, he looked
up at her, too miserable to look grateful, but there was a hint of it there.
He’d already thanked her and though she deserved to hear it again, he knew she
would understand that he appreciated her help. Or he thought she would. He shut
his eyes and nursed his wounded heart, picturing Fenris when he had been free
and happy, not caged and displayed like some wild beast.
---
Solea settled into her chair once he appeared to be resting and closed her
eyes. She'd only meant to doze, but it seemed she had been tired because she
woke with the sunrise. She scurried about, cleaning up the already clean room
with a nervousness that suggested she feared she was in trouble. When the mage
woke, she gave him a glass of water and some fresh clothing, trying to get him
put together before breakfast. But to her surprise, no one came to the door.
***** Chapter 5 *****
It was noon before guards arrived and unlocked them, looking past the girl to
scowl at Anders. “The master wants a word with you. Will you come quietly or
shall we escort you?”
---
Anders didn’t know what to expect after what happened the previous day, but he
wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t given breakfast. Though he’d come to eat with a
ravenousness he hadn’t in years, he didn’t care to play nice and eat with the
man that was tormenting them, Fenris taking the brunt of it. He’d give anything
to lessen his pain, even if it meant taking some of it for himself.
When the door opened, he looked over at it and his pulled into a thin line.
“I’m coming,” he sneered, getting up and heading for the door. He didn’t care
what they thought of him or his theatrics. They didn’t matter and he was rather
coming to resent the way they were dragging him around.
---
The guards walked just behind him, seeming to find that Solea was no longer
suitable to keep him in line on walks to and from the dining room. Danarius was
in his usual seat and while he looked tired, he didn't look particularly angry
when he saw the mage entered. He gestured at the seat Anders usually took,
leaving a space between them. “Sit.”
---
He held his head high and walked almost haughtily to his chair, sitting down
and folding his arms over his chest as he waited for whatever it was he had to
say. He didn’t care what he had to say, unless it was about Fenris and then he
would demand his safety until he was blue in the face.
---
“Your little outburst was quite entertaining last night.” He toyed with a warm
bread roll between his fingertips, then tore it in two. “I don't believe Fenris
thought it was worth it. The poor boy was miserable last night. I'd promised
him that he'd get to talk to you after the party if he was good. And to my
surprise, he was actually behaving himself until you showed up.”
---
His heart clenched at the thought of the missed opportunity to speak with him,
but he didn't regret it, not when he’d been able to give him relief from all of
his pain, even briefly.
“He didn't do anything, you coward. That’s all you are. A miserable coward that
has to resort to keeping a collar on me because we both know that without it,
you couldn't take me. If you’re really such a powerful magister, like you
pretend to be, why don't we see?”
The diatribe had been spit venomously and his hands had fallen from their fold
to clutch at the edge of the table, as if he would end up using them to wring
his neck if he didn't occupy them.
---
Danarius looked briefly to an elf standing near the doorway. “One.” His eyes
returned to Anders then, regarding him coolly. “You wear that collar because
it's inconvenient to kill you, but more tempting by the day. However, I do have
to admire your ability. That's why I've summoned you. How many minor wounds and
ailments can you heal in a day, Anders?”
---
He followed his gaze and his eyes narrowed, but they quickly returned to him.
“I'm not healing anything for you. I asked you to stop hurting him, you
refused, so you're not getting anything from me. Not until you stop treating
him like an animal.”
---
“Two.” He told the elf, then sighed. “I would have let you heal him and
convince him to behave as soon as the guests left. But he's even more unruly
when you're around. It would be best to keep him from seeing you again at all,
really, but I thought perhaps we could work out an arrangement that benefits us
all. What would you be willing to do for a night with my wolf?”
---
The counting was making him anxious, but he tried to ignore it. He didn't
believe him. He hadn't intended on giving them that. It was a lie to make him
more obedient, that was all. As he went on, however, all of his defiance left
in a rush of air and he stared at him distrustfully, knowing that it had to be
some kind of trick.
“...what are you asking of me?” He’d do anything, but he wasn't about to say
that.
---
He seemed pleased enough with the distrustful curiosity and smirked, then
popped a chunk of the roll he'd been toying with into his mouth. “I'm asking a
lot of you. I want answers to my questions. Honest ones. I want you to heal
everyone I bring to you. I want to use your body any way I see fit. If you do a
satisfactory job, I will let you spend one night with my Fenris when the week
is over. Then we can re-evaluate the situation from there.”
---
He was staring at him, almost at a lost. It was far more than he would have
expected. To be allowed to be with him for an entire night and maybe even more
in the future. He seemed stunned and when he began to speak, it was almost out
of nowhere.
“With minor wounds, I can heal throughout the day. With some breaks in between,
some traditional remedies, I have been known to provide care from dawn to
dusk.”
---
“Wonderful. You'll start with my slaves then. There are plenty with minor woes
I have not had the time to remedy. But you drew a lot of eyes last night and a
lot of people are wanting your aid. I think you're going to have a very busy
week.” He took a sip of wine and with a wave of his hand finally beckoned for
food and drink to be brought to Anders. “I'll have a lot of questions for you
as well. Your hold on Fenris...it’s fascinating. He loved me once, but not
quite like that.”
---
He would heal whoever he wanted, if it would allow him to see Fenris, so he
made no protest to his intention. “It would be best if you adjusted my collar
further. You gave me access to my creation magic, but I'm struggling with more
complex healing.”
He looked at the food placed before him and though he didn't really want to
eat, his stomach urged him to pull it in and fill it with what was offered.
“Are you asking me a question?” It was an insolent question, but it was said
without any actual insolence behind it.
---
“I am about to. How long has he been...attached to you like this? He's always
been a bite first, ask questions later sort of wolf, so I imagine it took some
time for him to warm up.” Honestly, he was still in shock that his pet would
warm to anyone at all. The fact that it was another mage and not even a
powerful magister at that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
---
“A year,” he replied, keeping the answer succinct. He could go on, but their
life wasn’t any of his business and unless he asked him questions directly, he
wasn’t going to tell him anything. He made slow work of his food and sipped at
water, still avoiding wine.
---
“Does his attachment have anything to do with the magical bond the two of you
share? Whatever it was that was making him shriek like he was being skinned and
made you start bleeding from your facial orifices?” He said this with a tone of
mild amusement, as if he found their suffering to be entertaining drama.
---
“No. All the bond did was force us to stay close enough for long enough to fall
in love.” It really had been as simple as that. Years of hatred had been
replaced with something far more pleasant when they had been forced to tolerate
each other. To find out that they could relate to each other better than anyone
else. He knew that probably wasn’t what Danarius wanted to hear, though, it
would be very convenient for him if he could find a way to make Fenris ‘love’
him.
---
“I won't bother asking you if you know a way to break the tether you have to
him. If you did, you wouldn't tell me. But how did you become linked in the
first place?” He continued to pick slowly through his meal, though he kept
tearing little pieces away from everything he ate and setting them aside.
---
He really didn’t want to tell him about this and so there was a considerable
pause as he tried to think of a way to get around it. When he couldn’t, he
sighed. “He tried to kill me. He stuck his hand inside me and tried to rip out
my heart, but I stopped him. I don’t know how, but it linked us together and we
learned after we could not part.”
---
The answer made him laugh a dark, rich chuckle. “That sounds more like the wolf
I raised. ...You managed to stop him though. Or the being inside you did. Tell
me what dwells in you.”
---
“There is nothing. I don’t know what it is you saw that night, but there is
nothing inside of me.” He couldn’t tell him about Justice, not when the spirit
was their only hope of salvation. If he told him what was hidden beneath his
skin, he might be able to find a way to counter him that went beyond the collar
keeping him in check.
---
For a long moment he was quiet, his eyes distant as he consulted with the
passenger in his own mind. “...There is something within you. Perhaps it has
obscured itself from you. But something is there.” He seemed willing to let it
go for the moment, his eyes studying the mage’s features closely. “You have
weakened my pet considerably and I have yet to decide what can be done about
it. After he was punished for his outburst at the party, I told him I may have
to clear his memory again so he won't act up every time he sees you. He wept,
Anders. I have not seen him break like that since he was a boy.” He sounded
disgusted. While this proved useful in making his pet comply for short
intervals at time, it was a weakness he didn't think he wanted him to keep.
---
He frowned, as if not knowing what to make of his words, but didn’t argue. If
the subject changed, it was less likely he would realize that he was lying to
him. His eyes flicked up when he returned the subject to the present and they
widened and his teeth clenched hard. “It’s not a weakness. It’s a strength, you
just haven’t utilized it to your advantage. He would do anything to keep me
safe as I would him, but you keep putting us in situations where we are not
safe. If you stop your pointless punishments and give me the night you
promised, without tormenting us to get there, you would find that all of this
is far, far easier.”
---
“I intend to use it. That is why I made you the offer that I did this morning.
Now, as a show of good faith since you did answer my questions, would you like
to see him for a moment? I'll let you speak to him if the two of you can keep
from making fools of yourselves.” He took another bite from his roll, not
terribly apprehensive about bringing them together despite the scenes they kept
making.
---
His appetite left and he nudged the plate away, wanting nothing more than to go
to him. “Yes,” he replied, his voice soft. “Will I be allowed to… touch him?”
He wanted to hold his cheeks and press kisses to his lips, but he’d settle for
simply taking hold of his hand. He shifted the chair back from the table, tense
and poised to raise. He wanted to go immediately.
---
He considered it a moment, then decided a little bit of generosity might go a
long way to make them behave for the week. “You may. But when I tell you to go
back to your room, you will do so immediately. Otherwise you can forget your
night with him. Do we have a deal?”
---
“Yes.” The promise of seeing him now and then again in a week was enough to
keep him on his best behavior. He continued to sit tensely, obviously itching
to get to his feet and barely keeping himself from doing so.
---
“Very good. Fenris.” He nudged the body on the floor in front of him with his
foot, but when he felt no movement, he lifted the silky table skirt fo peek
beneath it. His elf was curled up at his feet like a faithful dog might be. His
skin was partially obscured by the new armor he was wearing, but what was
visible appeared to be unmarred. He was sound asleep, his jaw relaxed and his
lips parted in the way they were when he was truly sleeping and not just
resting. “Tired lad. I told him he could sleep if he needed it.” He took his
plate which had the torn bits and remains of his own meal and set it on the
floor beside the warrior.
---
His expression turned confused, but when he realized where Fenis was, the
tension shifted and instead of shooting to his feet, he fell to his knees,
shoving the fabric out of his way so he could crawl under the table beside him.
“Fenris,” he whispered, so softly as to not wake him. He was sleeping and he
knew that he must barely get any of that, so he refrained from rousing him.
Rather he reached out tentatively and brush his fingers through his hair, his
throat thickening as he actually touched him for the first time since they’d
been torn out of each other’s arms.
---
Fenris flinched a little from even the light touch, his body defensive in his
slumber and expecting any touch to be one that would hurt. When no pain came,
he relaxed again, breathing out a voiceless sigh. Danarius had not moved his
chair back to give them more room, instead finishing his wine while the two
lovers took up the space on the floor by his feet.
---
He wished he were awake, so much that his entire body trembled with it, but he
kept his touches light and his voice quiet, his whispers only meant for the
elf’s ears, even if they were overheard by the man they were at the mercy of.
“I miss you so much, my love.” The pads of his fingers traced the line of his
jaw, so careful that the touch bordered nonexistence. “I will be by your side,
no matter what it takes.”
---
Unlike the first touch that made him flinch, he tipped his jaw lightly into the
caress, trusting this time that it wouldn’t hurt. His eyes fluttered a little
when his heard the whispers, peering at Anders hazily through his lashes. He
was sure that he was still dreaming of the mage and he murmured his name in a
voice thick with sleep. “Anders…”
---
His throat went thick when he heard his name and he drew his hand back, though
he yearned to continue touching him. “Shh,” he murmured, quieter still. “You
need your sleep. It’s okay.” His shoulders were trembling and he gripped the
robes bunched in his lap tightly to keep himself in check.
---
He shifted a little, relaxing so he wasn’t curled quite so tightly at Danarius’
feet. One of his hands stretched to Anders and settled to rest on his knee,
content to simply touch him even if he wasn’t lying down with him. In his
current dreamy state, it he may have been just reaching to touch his lover
while he drifted off to sleep while Anders was sitting up reading a little
longer because he wasn’t quite ready for bed. It was the comfort he needed and
his eyes drifted the rest of the way closed again.
---
He smiled at him and as pained as it was, it was the first smile he’d given
since he’d woken up. He decided to remain quiet, not wanting to bother him any
further, but he lower his hand to rest over Fenris’ so they could have that
touch. His watched him with rapt attention, drinking him in, unable to get
enough. Nothing would be enough. He just had to take what he could get and hold
onto it until next time.
---
When his wine ran out, Danarius waved away the boy who moved in to pour him
more. He finally peeked beneath the table again, surprised to see that Anders
had let the elf sleep, though he’d guessed as much from the silence. “Solea
will take you back to your room now. I will start sending you slaves to mend
soon.”
---
He looked up when Danarius spoke and his hand tightened around Fenris’ ever so
slightly, before he nodded. He let go of him and worked his way from under the
table, even though it was difficult to pull himself away from him. He rose to
his feet and he swallowed down his heartache as he’d come to do often since
they’d gotten here. He looked over where Solea was standing and made his way
 to her, his mind heavy, without properly dismissing himself.
---
A couple of guards moved in to walk behind them, but Solea lead the way and
tried to keep a little space between Anders and the men tailing them as they
left the room. “...You’re a very kind man, Anders.” She murmured as they neared
the room where she had no doubt they would be locked inside once more.
---
When they got inside, he turned to look at her questioningly. “What did I do?”
She’d called him kind many times since he’d been here, but he didn’t understand
what he’d done to deserve it this time. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed,
his eyes fixed on her, though his mind was wandering back to Fenris, as if he
were still sitting beside him under the table.
---
“You agreed to heal the other help. Master likes to tend our ailments, but he
has been distracted since he caught Fenris’ scent after so many years.” She was
standing near the locked door, her hands folded in front of her as usual. She
watched him with a slight smile. “And Lyunde has been sick for weeks. Even if
he had time, it is not the sort of thing my master usually heals.”
---
He hadn’t really spoken to her much, beyond what was necessary, but with so
many positive developments in such a short amount of time, he wasn’t nearly as
despondent as he had been. “As I told you before, it’s what I do. It’s what I
devoted my life to, until recently. I served those who needed it most, the
poor, the abandoned… People who would have otherwise died on the streets with
no one sparing them passing glance, unless it was to clear their corpse after
they were gone.” He sighed, some part of him still missing that life, so being
able to use his powers for good in this terrible place… He looked forward to
it.
---
“We are most fortunate to not live on the streets. ...But when one of us falls
ill with something our master’s magic can not mend, there is no one who can
help us. Medicine men and healers are expensive and most of us are not worth
the coin it would take to hire one.” Of course, his Fenris was among the
handful of slaves worth the bother, though the elf so rarely got sick. She
lowered her eyes briefly, but remembered herself and quickly raised them up to
him again. “We will be very grateful for anything you do for us and to please
our master.”
---
“No one will fall to sickness or injury while I am here,” he assured her, since
he did want to help them. Even without Danarius’ orders behind it, he wouldn’t
have liked seeing the slaves and treating them should they need it. “You’ll
likely be my assistant, if I am to be as busy as he says. Would you enjoy
that?” His voice was warmer and he couldn’t manage another smile, but the look
he gave her was close enough.
---
Her eyes brightened at the suggestion, a genuine look of relief on her face.
She’d been ordered to take care of his every need and he really hadn’t given
her much opportunity to do anything for him. But if she could assist him in
this task, she could keep busy for him and help her peers while she was at it.
“Yes, I’d like that very much. Ask whatever you would of me, ser, and I will
not disappoint you.
---
“Perfect,” he approved, before moving further back onto the bed and plucking up
the book that Solea had brought for him to read. Like before, it was unlikely
he would get through much of it - as soon as he opened it, his eyes glazed over
and his thoughts returned to the table and Fenris. It would be only a little
longer and he could hold and kiss him as much as he wanted to and this time he
would be awake to return his affections. It was everything he wanted.
-----
When he reached a good place in his book to take a break, Danarius marked his
page and closed it. It was time to move on with his afternoon. "Fenris." He
nudged the body under the table with his foot as he had when Anders was still
there. When he got no answer, he gave him a more insistent push until the elf
opened his eyes.

Immediately Fenris noticed the scent of food. He sat up as much as he could
beneath the table and even before his eyes had even focused, his hands were
searching for the plate Danarius had set near him. He snatched up his master's
table scraps, eating them greedily and not minding at all that they were no
longer warm.

"Come along." Danarius said as he rose from the table and was pleased to see
Fenris crawl out to join him without complaint, rushing to finish the last
bites on his plate before setting it aside. When he began to stroll to his
study, his pet walked obediently at his side, no longer slouching or staggering
as he'd been before getting some sleep. "I invited Anders to lunch when you
fell asleep. He asked to talk to you, touch you even, and I allowed it because
he's going to heal for me."

Fenris froze, needing a moment to process the words. His master hadn't slowed
and he had to rush a few steps to catch back up. "...Anders spoke to me?" He
didn't think Danarius would lie about it. Why would he? "I was dreaming he was
there but..."

"He was there. I didn't hear what he said, but he spoke to you. He was holding
your hand when I told him it was time to go. I tried to wake you for him, but
you were too lazy to enjoy your visit." He gave the slightest of shrugs. As if
they'd both made an earnest effort to wake Fenris but he simply hadn't budged.

Fenris' eyes dropped to the floor and he had to swallow the lump forming in his
throat. Anders had been there. He'd gotten the chance to truly interact with
his love and he'd slept right through it. He kept quiet, his stomach churning
with guilt. He wouldn't let himself fall asleep like that. Not if it was at the
risk of missing another opportunity to talk to Anders.
***** Chapter 6 *****
The next few days passed quickly and Danarius kept Anders very busy. People
were being shepherded to the healer’s room and sometimes there was even a line
outside his door. He set no expectation for the amount of people he expected
Anders to heal in a day, telling him he could take rests as often as he liked
and keeping a large supply of replenishing potions on hand for him. It seemed
Solea had been helping him, if only to fetch things he needed or clean and
dress simple wounds while the healer worked. He was pleased to hear it, since
he learned the slave girl hadn’t been used for much else.
He’d kept busy as well, but after a few days he decided he wanted to check in
with the mage. He had summoned Anders to join him for dinner after a long day
of work, allowing him to leave his room for a bath for the first time since the
party before he gave the invitation. He rather liked the sight of the mage all
cleaned up, after all. He waited at his table, already picking at his meal
options when Solea lead the way into the room, taking her customary place by
the door.
---
This wasn’t where he wanted to be by any means, but he had to admit that things
could be worse. Given the opportunity to work, he threw himself into it hard.
He was use to it and it was familiar. By the end of each day he was exhausted
and each night he was asleep almost as soon as he collapsed onto his bed. He
was grateful for a way to pass the time and keep his mind occupied, waiting
anxiously as he was for the week to end so he could finally have a proper
reunion with his beloved.
Given the chance to clean up, he was looking far better. He was overworked,
that much was clear to look at him, but the consistent fare that he had here
had been good for him and he looked healthier than ever. Everything from the
color of his skin to the brittleness of his hair had been improved, which had
been true for as long as he’d been away from Kirkwall, it just was even more
noticeable when he had actually been able to feast as his body demanded of him.
If not for the dark circles under his eyes, he would’ve looked years younger.
He wasn’t really surprised that Danarius wished to see him - he’d gone days
operating on his own and he’d expected him to check in eventually, but he
wasn’t looking forward to it. He hated the man and if they weren’t going to be
discussing when he would see Fenris next, he had nothing else to say to him.
All the same, he knew the invitation was not optional and even if it were, he
wouldn’t give up the opportunity to glimpse the warrior, though he doubted he
would be present.
When he arrived, he was wearing fresh robes that he’d been given after his bath
and he moved to take his usual seat, his eyes flicking around. As he imagined,
he wasn’t there. Unless… He couldn’t help but peek under the table.
---
Danarius chuckled under his breath when he caught Anders glimpsing beneath the
tablecloth. “I don’t always keep him beneath the table at mealtimes. I sent him
away for his bath so I could have a moment to talk to you.” He waved the
servants forward so they could lay out food and drink for the healer. “Your
healing work here has far exceeded my expectations of you.”
---
That was disappointing, but he’d expected it. His eyes lifted to meet Danarius’
and he shrugged, not sure what to say in response. He was just doing what came
naturally to him after years of running a clinic. A free clinic, at that. He
knew better than to think that the blood mage wasn’t receiving coins for what
he was doing, but for every master he healed, he was healing five more slaves
who would have otherwise gone without, so he didn’t really mind.
---
“You’ve done more in a matter of days than I had expected of you in weeks. If
you’ve done all of that with your magic as stunted as you claim...you are a
very talented man.” He said this with genuine respect in his tone. He tipped
his goblet toward Anders in a little toast, then took a sip. “Is there some way
I can compensate you better for your service? A bigger room? A better bed
slave? An income of sorts?”
---
He started in on his food, eating hungrily, though he did pause at the
compliment. The offer made him stop chewing entirely. That was the last thing
he expected to hear. Compensation? No, Danarius hadn’t treated him like a
servant or a slave during his time here, but he was not a true guest, they both
knew that. He swallowed what was in his mouth and set his fork down, his plate
forgotten for now.
“I just want Fenris.” More time with him. To see him for a night every week.
More than a night every week. As much as possible. Nothing else mattered to
him.
---
“I thought you might say that, but I wanted to offer you something I can
actually provide you. If you change your mind and would like something else for
your work, I will be happy to provide it.” He continued to pick at his own
meal, not seeming surprised that Anders had turned down his offers. “I am
considering letting you see him tonight briefly. As a means to thank you for
your service.”
---
The answer was a punch to the gut and for a moment, he actually looked wounded.
He could provide it to him, he just wouldn’t. He had to tear his eyes away,
fixing them down at the table in front of him, suddenly sick with emotion.
There was a slight convulsing in his chest, not visible to the eye, but he
could feel it and he didn’t understand it. Daranius’ answer was what he would
have anticipated if he’d planned to ask for this before arriving, but the
magister’s offer had given him a glint of hope that had been torn away just as
it had started to lift him.
What came next was consolation and he gave a somber nod to confirm that it was
something that he would want.
---
“Good. If you have a little energy left, he could use it. He hasn't been
punished much, he's been pretty well-behaved. But he did try to go snooping by
some of the guest rooms when my back was turned, so he had to be reprimanded.”
He sipped at his wine, then tore a little meat from the chicken bone he held.
“You should eat, Anders. You look drained.”
---
It wasn’t a suggestion. He lifted his fork again, but there was something
different to the way he ate it. He wasn’t tasting it like he had before. There
was no enjoyment, just mechanical motions that gave his body the nourishment it
needed. It took him longer than usual to finish his plate and when he was done,
he pushed it aside.
---
He nodded his approval when the healer finished eating. “You will want to keep
your strength up. If you continue to perform so well, you will be rewarded. But
I also asked that I be able to use your body as I see fit. I'd like to bring in
a scholar to study you and run some tests. Would you be agreeable to that if I
compensated you with a little more time with Fenris?”
---
He frowned, not sure that he liked the sound of that. What kind of tests? He
wasn’t a specimen, what could he hope to learn from him? He assumed it had to
do with Justice, but it wasn’t as if he could discover the spirit inside him,
could he? The offer of more time with Fenris wasn’t one he could refuse, no
matter how he felt, so he nodded. He didn’t like speaking to him and so he
avoided it where he could, sticking to nonverbal communication.
---
“I think you will do well here, Anders. In just a few more days, you can have
your night with my wolf if you continue to be so compliant. In the meantime,
I'd like both you and Fenris to keep from losing your heads.” He looked to a
doorway and the slave that had been sent to whip Fenris on a previous dinner
stepped forward. “Go get him.”
---
He looked over at the slave that was addressed and when he left to do as he was
told, his eyes fixed unblinkingly on the doorway. He was tense, waiting on the
edge of his seat for the warrior to step though, telling himself that he
couldn’t leap to his feet and run to him, even if he wanted to.
---
When Fenris stepped into the doorway, his eyes immediately fell on Anders and
it was clear in the way they widened that he had not been told he would be
here. He'd been hastily dressed in armor, his tattoos stark white against skin
still pink from being scrubbed and his hair was wet but had been tamed enough
to be presentable for his master. Again he lacked the abundance of wounds he'd
had his earliest days back home, now appearing well save for bandages that were
wrapped around his hands.
“To me.” Danarius said rather sharply when his pet stood dumbfounded in the
doorway for a moment too long. Fenris startled a little, as if he hadn't
noticed the blood mage until then, but started walking to his place at his
side. “Down.” He was commanded after just a few steps and without hesitating,
he lowered to his hands and knees. He winced every time he had to put weight on
his palms, but he crawled the rest of the distance to Danarius’ side without
complaint. “You're being so good. You really wanted to see your Anders, didn't
you?” The blood mage sounded pleasantly surprised and when his pet reached him,
he lowered his goblet, putting it to Fenris’ lips and giving him a sip of wine.
---
The display was hard for him to watch and his hands curled into fists, as
they’d come to do often when angered in the man’s presence. He remained silent,
his jaw clenched so hard that it sent an ache up into his skull, his eyes fixed
with rapt attention on the warrior crawling on his hands and knees. He was
itching to say something, but he bit his tongue and waited as he went to his
‘master’, his heart pounding in his ears.
---
After swallowing down the taste of wine he'd been given, Fenris turned his eyes
up to Danarius pleadingly. He knew better than to ask, but the question was
written all over his face as he waited. For a long moment, the blood mage went
back to eating, ignoring the warrior knelt at his side. Only when he felt he'd
been properly patient did he speak up again. “Go to him. You have until I'm
finished eating.”
Fenris didn't take the time to get up, simply crawling the last few feet to get
to Anders as quickly as possible. His arms snaked around the healer’s waist and
he trembled lightly as he held him.
---
The arms wrapping around him hit him hard and he felt the chair slide back as
he sank down to the floor in front of him, pulling him in against him. It was
everything he wanted and he was beyond words as he clung to him, taking in
everything that was familiar. Everything from his scent to his warmth, the way
their bodies molded together. All of it he treasured and there was so much love
and longing in his eyes as he drew a hand back to catch his cheek and bring his
gaze up so they could meet.
---
“I'm awake this time.” He murmured when the mage lowered and pulled him close.
He'd have doubted that he was awake and that perhaps this was a dream if the
pain in his hands wasn't so vivid. He was grateful for it, for the assurance
that this was real as he met the amber gaze he'd missed so dearly. “Are you
alright? Has he hurt you?” The words were almost inaudible, whispered softly in
hopes that the blood mage wasn't listening too closely.
---
“No,” he assured him, just as soft. “He uses you to hurt me.” It was an
effective tool, to be sure, but it meant that he’d gone unscathed thus far.
“Listen to me. You have to be good and obedient, okay? If you’re good, he’s
going to give us a night together, so I need you to be as good as you can.” His
eyes were misting as he spoke, so grateful to be speaking to him and so fearful
that it would never be allowed again.
---
“He won't. He's lying. He told me if I can't behave when I see you, he'll make
me forget you.” He had gotten no promises of reward, only threats. Still, it
was a shock to him that he was having this moment with him at all. He wrapped
his arms around him tighter, almost painfully tight, and his breath hitched as
he buried his face into the mage’s neck. “Anders...thank the Maker, I never
thought I'd touch you again.”
---
“He will,” he assured him firmly, saying it just as much for himself as the
other. “I’m doing everything he wants and in return, he promised me. You just
have to be good too, okay? He won’t make you forget if you’re good.” He hated
telling him to be subservient. It wasn’t right, but it was the best chance they
had at getting out of this together. At his words, he slid his arm back around
him and kept him pulled into his chest. “I love you, Fenris,” he murmured close
to his ear, having wanting to say since the time they’d first glimpsed each
other when he woke up here.
---
“I love you too.” The words were choked and muffled by his robes. He wanted to
remember everything about how it felt to be in his arms like this, the warmth
of his body and the sound of his heartbeat. He had no idea how he could
possibly comply when his master inevitably called him back to his side. This
was everything he needed and a full night of this sounded far too good to be
true.
---
He pressed a couple of kisses to the top of his head, rocking them and holding
onto him with everything he had. As an afterthought, he shifted his hand and
created a healing aura, so as to not hurt him while they clutched at each other
so desperately. He’d been in enough pain and didn’t want him to remember this
moment as anything other than perfect.
---
He breathed a little easier as the aura eased not only the pressure on his
marks but the ache in his hands. He hadn't minded the discomfort at all to be
close to him, but having a few moments without pain made this even more
precious. Fenris had never felt anything so wonderful in his life as these
little comforts from Anders and when Danarius’ voice cut into what was an
otherwise perfect moment, he nearly jumped out of his skin he startled so
badly.
“So much emotion over an elf. You are quite a puzzle to me, Anders. Come,
Fenris.”
Fenris clutched harder at Anders, shaking his head in refusal though it was
still buried against the mage. Anders had just told him to be good, but he
couldn't let go of him, not now.
“You should thank Anders. It's his good behavior that earned this little treat
for you. Now come, don't make me tell you again.” Danarius sounded impatient
and it was enough to make Fenris start to loosen his hold.
----
It was not nearly long enough, but he’d anticipated his voice and when it came,
it brought with it a sharp ache of acceptance that this was over. When Fenris
began to shake his head, his chest tightened and he would have peeled Fenris
off of him, if he hadn’t let go. “You have to listen to him,” he told him
urgently, pulling back to put space between them. It hurt him to give him back
to Danarius, he knew there would be a day, no matter how long from now, when
they could stay in each other’s arms for as long as they pleased.
“Listen to him and do whatever he asks you.” He didn’t bother keeping his voice
quiet, since the magister already knew he intended on telling him to be
cooperative. “This will be so much easier if you just listen.” He lifted his
eyes to the blood mage and addressed him directly. “Please, can I heal his
hands?” Rather than just do it, since their time had run out, he was asking so
as to not anger him.
---
Danarius smirked, pleased to hear the mage encouraging his pet to cooperate.
“You may.” He watched closely, rather eager to see another demonstration from
the healing.
“Thank you, master.” Fenris breathed out the words as a sigh of relief. He'd
sat back on his knees, but was glad to have another moment to stay close to his
lover even if he could no longer hold him. He started to carefully unwrap his
palms, but it was difficult and he was biting his lower lip hard to keep quiet
as he pulled the bandages away. His hands had been badly burned and bits of
skin were sloughing off along with the bandages as he removed them.
---
For a just a beat, furious eyes flicked up to Danarius, but then they dropped
to the task at hand and he was expressionless. “An easy fix,” he assured him,
lifting his hands to as if to cup Fenris’, though he kept a bubble of space
between them. One at a time, he mended them, the rawness and blistering fading
as new skin stretched out to close every place it’d torn away. When he was
done, he lowered his hands and gave him a weak smile, but his eyes were no less
filled with love.
---
When it was done, Fenris flexed his fingers and curled his hands into fists,
relieved that he could do so without pain. The smile he got was one he couldn’t
return, but it did prompt him to lean in and steal a fleeting but firm kiss
from him. “I think that’s enough to thank him. To me.” Danarius said the moment
Fenris’ lips touched Anders’ and the elf obeyed, climbing to his feet and
moving to the blood mage’s side. The magister slid his fingers through Fenris’
hair when he reached him, letting them trail to the back of his neck where he
gripped him briefly. It hit his scarring just the wrong way, as it always did,
and made him wince, the touch not a fond caress but a possessive hold meant to
focus the elf’s attention. “I’ll check in with you again when the week is over.
Keep up the good work, Anders.” Danarius said to the mage on the floor before
he released his pet and turned to leave the dining hall.
---
He remained where he was while Fenris stood and returned to Danarius. He saw
the exchange between them, but his expression was unreadable, even as he turned
to go. He remained on his knees, his body feeling so heavy that he wasn’t sure
when he was going rise up and return to his room. The exhaustion was hitting
him hard and he stayed right where he was, his expression finally crumbling
into something lost.
---
It wasn’t until Danarius and Fenris had left the room that Solea slowly moved
into the dining room to join Anders’ side. She could see how weary he looked in
so many ways and she offered him her hand with a soft smile. “Let me take you
back to your room, ser. You have more than earned your rest.”
---
His eyes flicked up when she spoke and settled on her hand. After some
consideration, he took it and used it to help pull himself up. When he was on
his feet, it was easier to convince himself to move, so he turned and started
back for his room, wanting nothing more than to pass out and put the day behind
him.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Danarius had left the mage to work for the next few days, not inviting him to
any meals and simply accepting updates from the slaves bringing patients back
and forth as to how the healer was faring. It was the night of their
arrangement and it was one of those slaves now who gave the door a couple
knocks before unlocking it, as they all announced themselves when they were
bringing the mage and his personal slave their meals or giving them an
opportunity to bathe.
There were two more guards in the hallway ready to escort him along when he
opened the door. “Are you ready to go to the master’s chambers, ser Anders?”
---
He’d taken a bath and cleaned himself up carefully, caring what he looked like
for the first time since coming here. He knew that Fenris wouldn’t care and
that it didn’t matter, nothing mattered but being with each other, but he’d
wanted to pull himself together for him. He’d only just worked on fresh robes
and done his hair when the knock at the door made his heart jump. He didn’t
know what to expect, but met the elf eagerly, “Yes, let’s go.” He’d waited all
week for this and he was so excited that he felt a little light-headed, though
that probably was due in part to how hard he’d worked himself trying to pass
the time as quickly as possible that day.
---
“Have a good night, Anders.” Solea wished him off with a smile, planning to
tidy up the already tidy room while he was away. But when she got a beckoning
gesture from one of the guards, her smile faltered. It was unusual these days
for her to receive a summons to the master’s bedroom. But then, she also hadn’t
left Anders’ side since his arrival, so perhaps she was meant to stay with him
even now. It wasn’t optional to question it and so she followed the pack of
them into the hallway, letting the others lead the way.
Danarius’ private chambers were obscenely large and lavish and it took a fair
amount of walking to reach his actual bedroom. His own bed was in the center of
the room but along the walls were a handful of smaller beds. Some of them
already held dozing elves, two women and a man, both the beds and the bed
slaves themselves beautiful enough to pass for exquisite decor in the room.
Danarius sat in a chair near his bed, dressed in a light robe clearly meant for
sleep, and Fenris was standing just behind his chair. When Anders was lead
inside, the warrior’s eyes fixed on him, his heart racing at the possibility
that this could be true. That he would get to spend the night with him. “Good
evening, Anders. You’ve done well this week and you’ve nearly earned your night
with my little wolf.” The words were spoken warmly, but there was something
dangerous in the blood mage’s eyes.
---
The closer he got, the more nervous he got. Just how was this to work? When
he’d pictured their night together, he’d pictured them having time alone, but
as they entered his chambers, he realized that it was unlikely they’d be
granted that. Still, surely they would have some semblance of alone time? When
he caught sight of the pair, his eyes went straight to Fenris and he was so
close to what he wanted that he almost smiled, but he had to tear his eyes away
from him and focus on the magister as he was spoken to.
The wording stuck out to him and then his gut filled with unease. “...Nearly?
I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me.”
---
“You have. But I’m not done asking. You didn’t think there would be no
consequences for making a scene at my party last week, did you?” Danarius
steepled his fingers together in front of him, looking as if he was deciding
just what he wanted to do about the situation. As if he hadn’t already made up
his mind. “You see, I asked that you let me use your body any way I see fit.
And I like a little entertainment before I sleep.” The more his master spoke,
the more Fenris began to tense. He didn’t like this. Not at all. He took a step
to move in front of the chair but one warning glance from Danarius was enough
to still him. Instead, he looked back to Anders and shook his head, his eyes
wide and wary.
---
The words didn’t seem to properly register, likely due to the fact that he
never would’ve expected him suggest such a thing. Even when it sank in, he was
sure he was reading into it and that he didn’t mean what he seemed to. He had
plenty of bed slaves who were far more attractive than him, why would he
bother? His eyes lifted to Fenris and he saw him shaking his head, which made
him hesitate, but with the way the man had regarded him thus far, he knew that
it had to do with his magic. He wanted to...test him some more. To stab a few
slaves and make him heal them for his own sick entertainment. Maybe even stab
him and make him heal himself.
He didn’t  want  anything like that to happen, but he was willing to do just
about anything to have time with Fenris.
“Entertainment?” he questioned, attempting to stand tall and hide the
apprehension he felt.
---
“Yes. You like to make scenes, don’t you? You’ll give me a scene now. If you
give me a good enough show, I’ll forgive your earlier discretions.” He nodded
toward the farthest bed on the wall, currently unoccupied by any of his favored
bed slaves. “And you and Fenris can spend the night there. You won’t have to
leave until it’s time for breakfast.”
---
He turned his head to look at the bed he was being offered and the longing he
felt was intense. Intense enough for him to turn back to him and bow his head
in resignation, knowing that he wasn’t going to like this but that he would do
it regardless of what it was. “What do you want me to do?” His voice was quiet
and he was refused to look at Fenris, not wanting to see any protest from him.
---
“Solea.” He looked to the girl and beckoned her forward. The young elf looked
stunned. She’d expected to remain a fly on the wall for the night and she
wasn’t sure what any of this had to do with her. Still, she stepped forward
without hesitating and gave her master a deep bow. “I gave her to you for your
pleasure but you haven’t taken advantage. If you want Fenris, you’ll take
advantage now. Show me how good you’ve been to my little wolf in bed, Anders.”
He caught the warrior fidgeting at his side from the corner of his eye and
glanced to him. “Sit down. I think this will be a good reminder for the both of
you not to make fools of yourselves.”
---
His eyes widened and he looked over at Solea in horror. “What? No, you can’t
seriously…” He struggled to find words, shaking his head. “I can’t-... She’s a
child. I can’t do that. Ask something else of me.” Even if she weren’t so
young, he couldn’t bring himself to do this. Not in the privacy of his own
chambers and  definitely  not in front of the man he loved.
---
“She hasn’t been innocent in a long time. She’s not especially skilled, but
she’s a pretty little thing and eager to please.” Danarius chuckled under his
breath, rather enjoying that he’d found a request that would shake the mage’s
resolve. He reached down beside his chair where Fenris had settled and gave the
back of his neck a possessive squeeze as he’d done before, making his already
tense elf shudder. “Do what I asked of you or get out. I will not make this
offer again if you’re not willing to face your punishment.”
Solea still looked a little dumbfounded, but she looked to Anders with warmth
in her eyes. “...It’s alright, Anders. You are a good man.” Even if he wasn’t,
she’d have given herself to him, but she could tell how conflicted the man was
over this.
---
He heard her, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “Danarius, ask
something else of me.” His voice was hoarse and he knew the fact that he was so
reluctant would only fuel the fire, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t and if he
didn’t, he would never have the time he needed. He needed to be with him or he
would be driven mad with despair and longing. “I’ve answered all your
questions, I’ve healed everyone you sent to my door, I’ve given you permission
to test my body. Ask something else, anything else of me and I will do it.”
---
“You have done everything I asked, but I will not have you breaking my rules at
a public affair. It is generous that I make this offer to you in the first
place, I am not obligated to let you touch my pet at all.” He squeezed Fenris’
neck, making him flinch a little but also prompting the elf to lean into his
chair, hoping his master would let up if he pressed closer. “Now do as I asked
of you or go. My guards will lead you back to your room.”
---
He stood there uselessly, unable to handle the options that had been laid out
before him. Though he’d avoided looking at him up to that point, his eyes
flicked to Fenris for a heartbeat, but he couldn’t look at him and he dropped
his eyes to the ground, his fingers twitching for some kind of purchase, but
finding none.
Whatever resolution had been holding his head up had since faded and his
shoulders were sagging. “I’m sorry,” he murmured hollowly, before turning to
the elf girl and approaching her. He couldn’t really look at her either, fixing
his gaze somewhere past her shoulder as he pulled her in against him and leaned
down to kiss her, the entire movement so very mechanical.
---
Danarius’ eyes widened, his smirk spreading briefly to a grin when he pulled
the little slave close. He could feel Fenris fidgeting beneath his fingers, but
he didn’t let up his grip. He wanted him to see this. Solea didn’t resist his
pull and when he kissed her, she returned it. There was a little genuine hunger
there, but for the most part she was simply receptive, letting him lead as she
had been trained.
---
His chest stuttered as their lips met, but he continued to kiss her without
end. A tear darted down his cheek, but he showed no other sign of how much it
killed him to have someone else in his arms. Someone else while the one he
wanted sat so close. He didn’t want to draw it out, so his hands were already
starting in on her clothes, undoing them and letting them fall so she stood
bare.
---
She helped him to pull her robes away, letting them pool at her feet. Even now
she wanted to respect his wishes that she not touch him and so she kept her
hands to herself rather than start working on his robes as she might have done.
Instead, she pressed her body into him tighter, giving him a subtle little
grind with her hips. She hoped both to stir him and to reassure him that this
was alright.
---
He felt the grind, but he didn’t respond to it. He pulled back from her and,
his eyes fixed on nothing, he began to strip himself. He would have been
mortified to be baring himself like this if it were Danarius alone that were
watching, but with Fenris there he just felt blank. His robes fell and he was
left standing in not but his skin, his pale skin as unmarred as always with the
exception of the scars that over the length of his back. He pulled her back in
and resumed kissing her, this time taking her hands and lightly setting them on
his sides.
---
She let him guide her hands, running her fingers lightly over his skin when he
let her touch his sides. Her eyes closed, working with his kisses though it all
felt so clinical. It was unlike the blind hunger she was used to in men and
even women, but she could adapt. When the two of them were bare, Fenris felt
his stomach turning in knots. He could see just how much Anders didn’t want
this and he looked up pleadingly to his master. Danarius’ eyes were fixed on
the pair and he ignored his pet, even when the other gave him a light nudge in
hopes of getting his attention.
---
Everything about it was wrong and he couldn’t even pretend that it was Fenris
to make it easier. He couldn’t pretend he was the one he was holding when he
knew he was sitting there watching. If he was lucky, the warrior’s eyes were
closed and he was pretending this wasn’t happening. He couldn’t bring himself
to check. He didn’t know if he would be able to harden, but he had to try and
so he began to grind his hips against hers. There was no passion in anything he
was doing with her and his hands refused to explore, sticking to where they
landed in clutching her.
---
His grinding was met eagerly enough and she hiked a leg up on his hip to give
him better access to her slit. She was warm and a little wet despite his lack
of enthusiasm. She hoped that feeling her arousal, modest as it was, might help
to spur him on as well. Fenris nudged the blood mage lightly again, hoping
there was something he could do to convince him how unnecessary this was, but
Danarius rewarded him with new gash beneath the chest piece of his armor, torn
from the inside of his body with just a hint of blood magic. It was shallow and
just enough to draw a hissing breath from him, but the message was clear. He
was not to touch his master without his express permission and right now was no
different.
---
It did feel like something and though it made him no more enthusiastic, with
enough effort, he began to thicken against her. It was a relief that made him
feel sick, but once he started, it didn’t take long for him to be ready to take
her. He had a lot to give her and as he rubbed himself against her wet folds,
he knew it was time to get it over with. He broke the kiss to pull her up off
the ground, supporting her with nothing more than his arms. He was a strong
man, in part due to the taint in his blood, but it helped that she was so light
and felt like nothing to lift.
His breath caught when he sank into her and then he began to tremble. They were
not trembles of pleasure, but to the outside eye looking in, they might as well
have been. He began to thrust, working himself deeper into her each time, his
eyes shut and his expression fixed with grief.
---
She gasped when he lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist to help him
support her. Her arms locked around his shoulders and she used to leverage
there to ride the cock that was pushing up into her. She breathed little moans
into his ear, taking  him easily but still enjoying the stretch that he was
giving her despite the solemn atmosphere of the affair.
“I see why you like him so.” Danarius praised under his breath as he watched
the mage hoist the elf up rather than taking her to the floor or the bed and
the considerable cock he filled her with. His own had perked from watching the
two of them and he gave Fenris a meaningful glance. When his pet paled and
shook his head, he chuckled. He'd spare him for now in the interest of seeing
the show through to the end.
---
Since he wasn’t enjoying this beyond the barest level of friction, it took him
a long time to get anywhere. When he did, his breathing grew a little heavier
and his hands tightened around her, but he’d never been so quiet during sex and
that remained true to the end. Even when his hips finally began to speed up and
snap up into her, the only sign of his release was the way he stiffened and
stilled, letting her take all of him, before easing her to the floor. He
stooped for his robes and began to draw them on almost frantically, needing to
be covered.
---
Her legs were shaking when he set her down and she looked to Danarius, asking
silently if she could also dress. Her answer was a gesture toward his bed so
she left her robes where they were and moved to the last bed she would have
expected to lay in that night. Danarius watched him dress, looking quite
content. “You did well. I just want you to remember how that felt the next time
you think of defying me.” He glanced down briefly to his pale, ill-looking elf,
then back up to the mage. “Are you ready to start your night with my pet?”
---
Anders couldn’t bring himself to look in their direction. He hadn’t moved
throughout the whole ordeal and his feet felt as if they were stuck to the
ground. He nodded, but he whatever fantasies he’d had for this night together
had been thoroughly crushed, which had clearly been the blood mage’s intent.
---
“Go to him then. Be good and I won't need to bother you until breakfast.”
Fenris didn't hesitate and as soon as he got his orders he was on his feet. He
rushed to Anders, throwing his arms around him and burying his face in his
shoulder. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He murmured the words in a hoarse, shaking
voice. He wanted to go to their bed for the night, their closest semblance of
privacy, but right now he could do nothing but hold him.
---
When the arms came around him, he tensed, but then his own lifted and returned
the hold. “No, I’m… I’m sorry.” He sounded so stricken, knowing that in the
reverse situation he wouldn’t have been able to stand it. “I never wanted-...”
He never wanted that to happen. He never wanted to cheat on the man he loved
and he couldn’t see it for what it was. That lucky as he had been to avoid it
thus far in his life, he had forced into sex that he did not want and therefore
raped.
---
“Anders…” He murmured, clutching him desperately once his hold was returned.
“He wouldn't have let you near me if you didn't do it. And for a moment…” He
trailed off and glanced toward his master who seemed preoccupied with summoning
his other lazing slaves to bed. He couldn't finish that statement of what may
have happened. He felt so sick and weak, he was starting to lean into the mage,
as much as he didn't want to make him take his weight. “Can we go lie down?
Please?”
---
When he felt him start to lean into him, his grip shifted to become more
secure, supporting him without thought. “I never wanted her,” he insisted,
rocking them as he tried to take what solace he could from him. “I just wanted
you. I just want  you .” Everything he’d done was to bring them back together.
It had worked, even if it felt like everything was wrong, he had the one thing
that was right in his arms. He nodded roughly, “Just you. We’ll lay down and
it’ll just be me and you.”
---
“Just me.” Fenris knew that and knew that Anders would never have touched the
girl if he'd been given any other option. He walked shakily for the bed they'd
been given, clutching the mage the entire way. When he settled onto the
mattress, he tugged Anders to rest on top of him, needing his weight and his
warmth so desperately. “And I am yours. Tonight it can be like none of this has
happened. It'll be just us.”
---
When pulled over him, he blanketed him in his body and buried his face into his
collar, his trembling gradually fading away. It was everything that he could
have wanted and everything else seemed to fade away. It didn’t matter that they
were both collared, that they were were far from alone, that they could be torn
apart at any moment and by morning it was guaranteed.
“I love you. I love you so much.”
He would do anything for him. Anything.
---
“I love you too.” The words broke a little and he drew in a soft, hitching
breath. He hadn't really believed that he was going to get to lie with Anders
for the night and now that it was happening, the relief was overwhelming. Warm
tears rolled down his cheeks and his fingers dug desperately into his lover's
robes, as if afraid the other would be torn off of him at any moment.
---
They were both a mess and they both had reason to be, but they finally had each
other. They could do anything, couldn’t they? If they had each other? He wanted
to believe it, but the hope of escape that had burned in him had dimmed with
his punishment. Their punishment, really. It had been proven that they could be
used against each other, both of them, and that their only hope of protecting
each other was to obey. If nothing else, he found relief that Danarius hadn’t
hurt Fenris tonight - that had been his go to in making him heel.
He felt his tears before he saw them, his head lifting to take in the sight of
his crying warrior. “No,” he murmured, scooting up a little on his body and
using his palm to wipe his cheeks. “No, don’t cry, love.” He thought he
understood his tears. His own, darting down his cheek while he’d given into the
demands made of him, had been in resignation. These were different. He saw
these as desperation and anguish and it wasn’t long ago that he’d fallen into
them himself. He knew the pain that came with them and he wanted to shield him
from it, even if it was impossible.
“I am here. I am with you. Even when I am not at your side, I am with you.”
---
He tipped his cheek into the warm, soft hand that chased away his tears. “You
are always with me. I think of you every moment.” His eyes fixed on Anders,
filled with both love and fear. “You're really here, aren't you? I'm not
sleeping?”
---
In spite of himself, in spite of all that had happened, the weakest of chuckles
left him. “Oh, Fenris. Surely this is not what your dreams of me contain?” He
continued to stroke his cheek, the touch tender and cherishing. “Tell me that
your dreams are us back in Orlais, in the library or by the fire. Of waking up
beside me in the morning or making love in the moonlight.” There was something
pained in his voice, but there was happiness to be found in such memories.
---
“As long as my dreams are of you, I never complain.” The gentle words calmed
him and as he relaxed, his tears began to slow. “When you saw me sleeping in
the dining hall, I was dreaming of you reading to me by the fire. My head was
in your lap and your fingers were so soft when you touched me.” He nuzzled the
fingers that were touching his cheek lightly. “I don’t know if I’m dreaming
right now or not. But either way, let’s be in Orlais tonight.”
---
Perhaps it would be easier for him to remember this as a dream. He wanted him
to know that it was real and that they were together, but maybe what had
happened before would be easier for both of them to take if they pretended that
none of this was real. Or maybe that was a selfish thought all for himself. No
matter how they moved forward with this, hearing him say such things made him
soften and his fingers stroked along his jaw slowly, meeting his gaze.
“We’re in Orlais,” he confirmed softly. “I think at this point we’ve all but
decided to stay, don’t you? We’ve grown use to the city and even if we don’t
find the answers we’re looking for, what’s so good about being separated?”
Maker, the words stung, knowing what he meant and knowing what reality ended up
being.
---
“The city isn’t so bad. You’re not so bad either. I think I could be growing
used to both.” He could hardly believe it, but he felt himself smirk just a
little. “Let’s just stay. At least until the next winter passes. Then we can
decide if we want to move on.” His fingers were finally loosening their death
grip on Anders’ robe and he began to stroke his back lightly.
---
“Surely you have somewhere in mind then.” His voice was tightening and he
willed it to loosen. He’d just calmed him, it would not do to lose himself in
front of him. “If we’re to discuss moving on, there must be some place you wish
to go?” Maybe after all of this, they would go there.
---
“It’s hard to say. It feels like the whole world is falling apart.” His tone
shook a little, as the words were just a little too true, but he managed to
keep his smirk and his fingertips trailed slowly up Anders’ spine. “Maybe we’ll
just stay. I like the Orlesian food, after all. You know what a picky eater I
can be.”
---
As much as he enjoyed this fantasy life they were discussing, his yearning for
it to be real was taking him out of it. His gazed shifted into something
serious and his fingers stilled. “Listen to me, Fenris.” He was grave, but
vehement. “I don’t know how long it will take, but we will go back to Orlais. I
will find a way to get this collar off of me and as soon as it is gone, Justice
will help us. I just need you to wait, okay? I need you to be patient, to not
do anything,  anything , to anger him. You must leave it to me, okay?”
---
His smirk fell away and he swallowed hard, his eyes misting again as the
reality of their situation sank in once more. “I’m so sorry you’re trapped here
with me, Anders. I wish I could tell you to run. He talks of killing me
whenever his mood is foul enough and if he’d do it, at least you’d be able to
get out of here.”
---
“If you’re here, there is no where I would rather be.” He would take this every
day to being some place safe and free without him. “He won’t kill you, not if
you’re good. Even if you’re not, he won’t kill you. What I fear is him taking
your memories away, but he won’t do that either, not if you are compliant.
Promise me, Fenris, that you won’t do anything. You won’t try anything.”
---
“I want to try. I want to kill him. Or at least find where he’s keeping you and
make a run for it.” His fingers tightened in Anders’ robe once more. “But I’m
afraid. He doesn’t want to take my memories, but if he knew how much I think
about killing him, he’d do it. I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t
know you. You’re the only good thing that has ever happened to me.”
---
“No.” He sounded so frantic and firm on this. “You can’t. Promise me. Even if
you think you can, even if you think you’ll get away with it, you can’t. You
can’t. Please, you have to promise. I could not bare it if he did anything more
to you.” He would be doing just the same. He wasn’t going to risk half
measures, he was going to wait and only when he was certain he could free
himself would he act. If he failed, he would face the consequences and they
would not be nearly as dire as if it had been Fenris.
---
He closed his eyes briefly, unable to stand the earnest gaze of his lover. He
wanted so desperately to search for any opening to get out of this, but he knew
the risk. It was hard to even consider taking such a risk while the mage was so
adamant about this. He nodded, though it looked as if it pained him to do so.
“I promise. I’ll wait. At least as long as he’s not hurting you, I can wait.”
He knew he was hurting Anders, but it was through him and if he was good, his
master would lighten up on his punishments.
---
The knot in his stomach loosened and he nodded, leaning in and pressing a kiss
to his cheek. “Good, just wait for me. I’m sorry if it takes a long time, but
we will be free. I will make sure of it and when I am finished, he will never
hunt you again.” His hope may have diminished, but his resolved hadn’t. If
anything, it had strengthened. “Truthfully, I do not understand the way he
regards me. I am a prisoner, but it was not until…” He trailed off. Not until
tonight that he had really treated him so, but even then he had been given a
choice. A cruel choice, but a choice just the same.
---
“I can wait.” He assured him again, knowing it might take some time. But as
long as they were free again, he could be patient. Getting out with Anders was
all that mattered. “You're a mage and a human, he respects you. If he's
treating you with any measure of comfort, that is why.”
---
He snorted derisively, but didn’t want to linger on him. It was just them. “I’m
going to appeal to him for another night. In a week.” If they kept the magister
happy, maybe he would allow it and they wouldn’t have to jump through any hoops
to get there. “I will have you in my arms all night and in a week it will be
the same.” He lowered his head down to rest against his shoulder once more,
cuddling as close as he could. “For tonight, let’s not sleep.”
---
“I don’t think he’ll allow it.” He didn’t dare get his hopes up. This was
likely just a cruel game and now that he’d had his fun with Anders, he wouldn’t
make an offer like this again. “Sleep? Of course not. I wouldn’t risk losing a
moment of this.” This was the closest he’d feel to freedom as long as Danarius
lived and that was alright. As long as Anders was in his arms, it was enough.
---
“If he wishes for me to keep healing for him, he will.” He would be willing to
negotiate. If not in a week, then two. Whatever it took. He sighed and shook
his head, “Let’s not talk any more of him. Just you and me.” It seemed that
perhaps the night had not been as ruined as he’d feared and it meant everything
to him.
---
“Can we go back to Orlais now?” He asked softly, his hand shifting up to run
his fingers through the mage’s hair. “This bed isn’t all that different from
the one we had there. Or the ship we were on before that. Back when having two
beds was important, yet we spent half of the journey in mine.”
---
“I’ve a gripe to pick with you about that. Why was it always your bed? Was mine
not good enough for you? Mine was just as comfortable, I’ll have you know. If
not more.” He fell right back into it, teasing him as he’d come to frequently
do. He’d answered without answering. He was pretending and it was easier than
it had any right to be, especially assured as he was that if they could help
it, nothing dire would happen from here on.
---
“Your bed? You think I would sleep in a  mage’s  bed? Never.” He’d come to joke
about the word that he once used to spit like the worst of curses. Though here,
of all places, his loathing of mages should have been renewed, he knew better.
It was the masters who deserved his ire.
---
“So you’ll bed the mage, but staying afterwards offends your sensibilities,
does it?” His mind drifted to the kiss that had started all of this and his
eyes fixed on a line of lyrium in his neck. He shivered to think of the way it
had felt to suck on them when they were glowing beneath his skin and he leaned
in to press a sweet kiss there. Even without the power running through it, the
lyrium was still there and he could feel it - it was as comforting a reminder
of his lover’s presence as everything else about him was.
---
“I’ll bed the mage in my own bed. No mage beds for me.” He could feel the
lyrium beneath his skin responding to Anders when his marks were touched
directly and he felt his lips turn up into a slight smile. “I wish I could glow
for you. Perhaps I’ll be able to soon.” If he was on his best behavior, his own
collar may be loosened. It would be nice to give Anders the little bit of
comfort his lyrium would provide.
---
“It still feels nice like this,” he assured him. The effect was still there, it
just wasn’t nearly as potent. He pressed another kiss to the same spot and then
laid his cheek against it. He could feel his collar like this, but could
pretend that it wasn’t there and he had full access to the skin of his neck.
---
“Does it?” He wasn’t sure his lover had been able to feel it at all when it
wasn’t active. His fingers absently worked through Anders’ hair, his eyes
falling closed comfortably. “I wish I could lull you to sleep with it again.
You haven’t been having your nightmares, have you?”
---
Nightmares. They were living in Fenris’ nightmares, so his own seemed to matter
so little. “Apart from the occasional darkspawn dream, no.” That wasn’t
strictly true, but he wasn’t going to let him fuss over something as pointless
as a nightmare. He’d dealt with them long before they became a pair and he
could deal with them again.
---
“I’m glad to hear it. I should be at your side every night to chase away those
dreams.” Even in Orlais he’d never gotten comfortable to sleep on a nightly
basis, but he slept far more than than he ever had in his life. The nights he
did stay awake, he held Anders and watched him vigilantly. If the other seemed
even remotely distressed in his slumber, he had used the lyrium engraved in him
to calm him.
---
“You will be,” he assured him, shifting his cheek slightly so their skin could
rub together. “In the meantime, we can just stay close like this. I can feel it
and when I am alone, I will remember what it feels like.” It wouldn’t be the
same as having him there, but he would take comfort in remembering the way it
felt to be with him like this.
---
“You will never be alone. Not truly. Part of me is with you always.” The
biggest part of him, really. Danarius could keep his body where he pleased, but
his mind and heart were always with the healer. He kissed the top of his head,
falling so easily into kisses and caresses though all week his hands had ached
to tear into the blood mage’s body and rip him apart.
---
Hearing him repeat the sentiment he’d made earlier brought a quiet smile.
“We’re always with each other. No matter what happens.” It was a reassurance he
needed and that he would hold onto. If the separation between them ever became
too much, he would remind himself that he was not alone. That wherever Fenris
was, they were thinking about each other.
---
Fenris was so content beneath Anders’ weight that he could have easily dozed
off, but he didn’t dare. He spent the night exchanging sweet whispers and soft
kisses with his lover, dreading the sunlight that would eventually leak into
the room. He was certain Danarius would snatch him back the moment he woke, but
to his surprise, his master upheld his end of the bargain. When the blood mage
woke, he barely gave the couple a glance, instead going about his usual
leisurely morning routine. He stretched and read in bed for a little while,
then finally rose and let his slaves dress and groom him for the day. Only when
it reached the normal hour he’d take his breakfast did he call for his favored
pet. “Fenris, to me.”
The elf flinched at the sound of his name, but knew he should count himself
lucky for getting all the time that he did. He kissed the top of Anders’ head
one last time before reluctantly crawling out from underneath him. If there was
any hope at all at having another night like this, he wanted to heel to his
master immediately.
---
The voice was one that had dreaded, but he’d known it was coming and so when
the warrior was called, he eased off of him to give him room to go to him. As
soon as he was off the bed, Anders rose to his feet himself and adjusted his
robes so they were hanging properly, having been askew since he’d put them back
on the night before. He looked to Danarius only briefly, before fixing his eyes
away at nothing. It was time to take his leave, but he had not been given it
and so he was waiting.
---
When Fenris was at his side again, Danarius looked quite pleased and gestured
for Solea. The elf girl was dressed and standing by, moving forward obediently
when she was told. “Take Anders back to his room. I’ll have breakfast sent
shortly. His patient care will begin around the noon hour.” When she’d gotten
her orders, she bowed low for the blood mage, then walked to Anders, meeting
his eyes as if nothing had happened the night before. “Are you ready to go,
ser?”
---
Anders didn’t look at her, rather he gave Fenris a final look of longing,
before turning and and heading out the door without a word. The further he
walked, the more difficult it was, but he’d earned it once and so that meant it
was possible to earn it again. When they got to his room, he went straight to
his bed and sat down on the edge of it, his hands gripping the sheets and his
eyes fixed on his feet, already missing him terribly.
---
Solea moved to stand in front of him once they were locked inside, but gave him
some space. Her hands folded in front of herself and she spoke up very softly.
“I’m...very sorry, Anders. Is there anything I can do for you?” She knew she
couldn’t, but the least she could do was offer.
---
He stiffened when she spoke and shame spread across his expression. “Leave me
be.” He didn’t have anything to say to her and though he knew that it hadn’t
been her fault, he wanted nothing to do with her. There was nothing harsh to
his words, but they did sound firm and he meant them.
---
As usual, she did just as he said. The girl went to the far side of the room
and sat down against the wall. She’d find something to keep busy with once the
mage was eating or seeing his patients, but for now she was not going to do
anything that might disturb him. It was better to stay out of sight and mind
when men were upset.
***** Chapter 8 *****
It was several days later that Danarius summoned Anders to another meal. He’d
let more than half of the week go by, curious to see if the mage would continue
to abide by his requests. He wasn’t terribly surprised to see that Anders was
still working himself to the bone, never turning away a single patient that was
sent to his door. Pleased enough with him, he asked him to come to dinner so he
could check in on him. Not wanting to cause any unnecessary drama, he sent his
wolf off to rest while he began to work at the meal set out before him, eager
to see what sort of mental state his healer was in after his generous visit.
---
When Anders stepped inside, he appeared no different than usual. He looked
tired, but it was a look that he wore well and it didn’t seem to affect how
alert or present he was. As if any other day, he approached the table and sat
down in what had effectively become his spot as he waited to be spoken to or
served. There was something closed and distant about him, something that went
beyond his usual quiet demeanor, but he was being compliant as ever.
---
Danarius was pleased to see that not much had changed and he gestured for the
mage to be served. “Good evening, Anders. You continue to impress me with your
healing ability. You’ve mended illnesses my blood magic could not have
touched.” There was no shortage of ill and injured in Tevinter and the more
Anders worked, the more the word was spreading that there was a talented healer
in the area. One willing to mend slaves as well as masters, children as well as
the elderly. “That no one here could have mended.”
---
“You know why I do it,” he replied simply, taking no pride in his
accomplishments. The compliments were nothing to him and his expression didn’t
change from the blank facade that kept him together. When his food was set in
front of him, he looked down at his plate and began to eat it. Not too quick,
not too slow, just efficient.
---
“I do. And I know why my Fenris has been staying obedient. He still tries my
patience, but he’s been far more agreeable since your visit.” They were both
behaving in hopes of another night together. But he wasn’t about to offer one.
If they were willing to comply, he could reward them, but he didn’t want either
of them to start expecting such generosity from him.
---
His eyes lifted and he looked at him, something finally shifting. “I thought,
since I’ve done all you’ve wanted since that night… Well, the night approaches
again.” Just a few more days and it will have been a week since he’d held
Fenris in his arms. A week was what he’d promised him, so it was what he would
fight for.
---
“Does it? It doesn’t feel as if it has been that long.” Though for the lovers,
the days had probably dragged on for an eternity. “No wonder my wolf has been
tired. Nearly a week since his night off duty.” He said this thoughtfully, but
continued to work at his meal. Of course, he knew what the mage was getting at,
but he wanted to hear him ask for it.
---
“Yes, well, I thought that perhaps, since the night approaches, I would be
allowed to return to your chambers and spend another night with Fenris.” He was
no longer eating, still and waiting for his answer. He knew this would not be
made simple for him, if Danarius just agreed… Well, his opinion of the man
might even change, but he knew better than to think he would.
---
“I don’t think another night is an unreasonable request. It did wonders for
Fenris’ attitude, after all.” He mused, toying with a strawberry between his
fingers. “I have not had the scholar come to study you yet, however. Perhaps a
blood test and a couple tests of your magic. Would you be agreeable to that in
exchange for another night?”
---
Just barely, the mage perked, pleasantly surprised. He’d already agreed to
being studied and it was something he’d planned to use as leverage, should the
magister be less agreeable. “Yes,” he agreed, though he seemed a bit unsettled.
“When you say blood test…?” He knew of ways to test the blood for diagnostic
purposes and they were harmless, but when such things were suggested by a blood
mage...
---
“Nothing he does will be painful, save for the small wound he’ll have to make
to collect your blood. I’m sure you understand that. He will see how your
sample reacts to different magic stimulants. If I understand your magic a
little better, I will consider loosening your collar a little more to aid in
your healing.” He ate the strawberry he’d been playing with, then washed it
down with a sip of wine. “Are you still agreeable to that?”
---
“Very well, I am,” As long as no enhancements were done with his blood… He
wasn’t entirely sure he could trust him to not, but it was what he needed to do
to see his beloved and he would do it. That established, he went back to his
food and his efficient consumption of it.
---
“I appreciate you being so cooperative.” He began to set little bits of his
food aside as he ate, tearing off pieces of the meats and breads and setting
chunks of food and vegetable aside. “When I first found him, I was certain I’d
have to clear his memory and start over, you know. I didn’t want to, he is a
lot of work to train, but I didn’t think there was any way to bring him to heel
again.”
---
The topic of conversation made him tense and his eyes lifted back to him,
watching him warily. It almost sounded like he was saying… No. He wasn’t going
to jump to conclusions and he was going to wait and hear him out. “But…” He
started for him, inviting him to continue in that vein.
---
“But you have been a very good influence on him. He hasn’t been so well-behaved
in...well, in a very long time.” He could feel the mage’s eyes on him, but he
continued to casually pick at his meal. He tore off a piece of beef and set it
onto the little pile on his plate he was building. “Did you know that he once
wanted nothing more than to serve me? He begged for the lyrium in his skin that
he so laments now. Of course you wouldn’t know that though, he doesn’t know
it.”
---
That was...not what he’d expected to hear and he wasn’t sure that the magister
had ever held his attention as intently as he did now. “Begged you?” He knew
nothing of Fenris’ life before the lyrium and the topic was made even more
tantalizing by the fact that Fenris knew nothing of it himself. The idea of
knowing something that he himself did not… It was so intimate.
---
“He did. He was an ordinary slave before that. Just another pretty little elf
boy with all of the rest. I wanted to create something extraordinary, to
enhance a slave with a little experimentation and have the perfect bodyguard.
Of course, a position like that requires a great deal of devotion. It only
seemed right that I hold a competition for such an honor, with the added
incentive of a reward of the victor’s choice. You wouldn’t believe how
desperately that boy worked to win.” He shook his head, something almost solemn
in the way he spoke of it now.
---
“Do you...regret it?” He was pretty good at identifying emotions, but he
couldn’t really get a read on him. There was something soft to his voice,
something condoling. He never would have imagined speaking to him in such a
way, but it came to him easily and he was so caught up in what he was being
told, he didn’t even notice.
---
“I don’t, but I resent him for it. For a while, he was perfect for the job.
Then he started to fuss over his family. When he won his right to serve as my
bodyguard, he asked for his mother and sister’s freedom. He was so obedient
until he discovered what became of them. He wanted me to do something about it,
as if I had any say once they were relinquished from my service. When he
rebelled, I thought wiping his memory would be the solution, but in forgetting
his family, he also forgot how desperately he’d wanted to be mine.” He had
never spoken to anyone of this. Of the reason his pet was so unruly and why it
angered him so. But he knew that the mage would want to hear it and so,
listening as patiently as he was, he told Anders the truths that he knew Fenris
would never believe from him.
---
The answer soured him, but kept it to himself as he listened to his story.
After he finished, he mulled it over and, sure as he was that his effort was
pointless, he spoke again, still soft, “Danarius, have you ever been in love?”
He doubted he would even get an honest answer to such a personal question, but
he was trying.
---
“...In love?” He raised a brow. The question seemed out of nowhere, as he
didn’t see what love had to do with Fenris. “No. I have never had any interest
in love. My marriage was political and she is long dead. Why do you ask?”
---
At that, he sighed. He’d already been defeated and he’d barely broached the
topic. “Nevermind.” He turned his eyes back to his plate, but he was no longer
hungry. Rather, he toyed with the food as he recounted what he’d learned. It
seemed to him that losing his memory was the best thing that could have
happened to Fenris, but he wondered if he would feel the same if he knew the
truth. Were his memories worth a life of subservience? Of not knowing better?
---
“I don’t want to wipe his memory again.” Danarius said after a beat, setting
his plate aside now that he’d piled up enough scraps on it. “It only made
things worse last time. If you will help him, I may not have to.”
---
“Don’t. Don’t wipe it, please.” It would be as bad as his death. Worse. “I’ll
help him. We’ll both do whatever it takes.” That was what love was, but it was
clear that the man would never understand it. The fact that he was reluctant
to… It was the best development they’d had since coming here. Better than even
their night together. It meant that Fenris was safe. Safer than he thought.
--
“I know you will.” He could count on their devotion and that was his best bet
for keeping Fenris reigned in. He stood from the table and gestured for one of
his slaves to grab the plate he’d set aside. “I will only consider it a last
resort. In the meantime, I’ll have your testing completed tomorrow.”
---
It was clear that they were done here and it seemed to him that they’d
accomplished so much, but really, they’d accomplished so little. That was how
it had to be, though, he had to take this one step at a time and it seemed they
were heading in the right direction. “Thank you,” he told him, genuinely
grateful. It showed in not only his voice, but his expression.
---
“You’re welcome.” He nodded to him and started out of the room. “We’ll meet
tomorrow for your testing. Perhaps then I’ll tell you the most interesting part
of the story I told you tonight. I imagine you’ll decide it’s kinder that he
does not remember the things I took from his mind.” With that, he left him and
Solea moved to lead the way out of the room when Anders was ready, keeping
plenty of space between them as he preferred lately.
---
That made his expression fade into a frown. That sounded like a taunt and he
wasn’t interesting in sitting there and listening to what he’d made him suffer
through. He already thought his lacking memory was for the best, he didn’t need
to hear about the horrors that he’d left behind. It was as if the man was
determined to pair every kindness with foulness, but he wouldn’t expect
anything less of him. Not at this point.
When he was gone, he rose to his feet so he could return to his room and go
straight to sleep. He’d had a long day and he had a feeling that the next
wouldn’t be any better, even if it was a long needed break from patients.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Danarius had given Anders an unusually easy morning. Instead of his usual
influx of morning patients, only a few trickled in during the early hours of
the day. It was around the time that Anders was usually served lunch that a
knock rattled the door and another man stepped inside - a very old man, thin
and hunched with arthritis, his face deeply wrinkled but his eyes sharp and
shrewd. He could have easily passed for the wealthy older blood mages that came
to Anders for healing if he wasn’t accompanied by Danarius himself.
“His magic is too choked.” The old man grumbled at Danarius, though his eyes
didn’t leave Anders. “I can barely feel it. You’ll have to loosen that collar
if you expect me to work.”
---
When the man stepped in, he had been about to ask what ailed him when the
magister came in beside him. He looked between them and whatever words had been
on his lips died. He remained where he was, not really liking the scrutiny he
was under, but his eyes did flicker with interest when he spoke of loosening
his collar.
---
“I prefer to keep it tight. You would understand if you had seen him when I
separated them.” Danarius frowned, though he didn't seem surprised by the old
man's complaint.
“You think he's going to heal you to death? You're going to have to loosen it
if you want me to understand him.” The man spoke with a harshness to suggest he
was far too old to care about the proper courtesies the magisters typically
showed each other. He stepped closer to Anders, holding out a gnarled hand to
him. “Come here, boy.”
---
He was no boy and he had not been for decades at this point, so he resented his
wording, but he kept it to himself as he approached him. He stood in front of
him, keeping his hands to his sides, waiting expectantly and even curiously for
what was to come.
---
When he was closer, the man reached out to touch his chest. Despite his gruff
demeanor, his touch was quite gentle. “I hear you can heal most anything. Even
bring someone back from the brink of death. Is this true?” He was channeling a
little magic into him, something warm and soothing that seemed to be creation
magic.
---
He quirked a brow at him, recognizing the spell for what it was easily. “Can’t
you?” He assumed that this man was a healer as well, if he was using such a
spell on him. “The way you all speak to me, I’m beginning to think you’ve never
even heard of spirit healing before.” Such healers were rare enough to be sure,
but surely they existed in Tevinter? No, it didn’t align with blood magic, so
perhaps it was even rarer in this place, but it seemed like it would be a
lucrative talent from all of the work he’d been doing in the passing weeks.
---
“No, no. I can mend the broken and the sick, but not like you can. Even in my
youth, I could not have saved someone who was too close to their last breath.
The healing you do in a single morning would take me a week.” The magic began
to shift, changing from something warm to something that would be almost
unbearably hot as blood magic began to weave into the diagnostic spell, still
only probing within him rather than doing any damage. “We haven't had a spirit
healer in Tevinter in my lifetime, boy. Now hold still and he'll loosen that
collar for you.”
Danarius frowned, still not liking the idea. But he did want to know what was
within the mage and he knew he could at least keep him from accessing any magic
he could use as an attack. Reluctantly he moved to stand behind Anders, drawing
out the little instrument he'd used before to adjust the collar.
---
His eyes widened when he felt the heat and it took everything in him to not
jerk away from him. He did not like having blood magic used on him, not even
when it was little more than what he’d already been doing. He managed to
refrain, but there was a lot of tension in him and he tried to focus on his
words. “That’s impossible. We’re not  that  uncommon. Surely your leaders would
want some on hand for themselves, if nothing else?” Even if no mage born here
chose or was pushed into the focus, Danarius had proven it was easy enough to
kidnap… The thought trailed off.
The reality of it was his kind were highly coveted by the Chantry and it was
very, very extraordinary that they would let one out of their sights. He was
probably one of few apostates unaccounted for and it would be difficult for
slavers to get their hands on the likes of him. As such, Danarius had lucked
out on finding one. Perhaps he really was that uncommon, but he still found it
hard to believe that in a land of mages, a true healer would be so difficult to
come by.
---
“Wanting one and having one are very different things.” The man grumbled and
when he felt the change once Danarius had unleashed quite a bit more magic for
Anders, he sent a harder surge of blood magic through him. It would be very hot
and meant to startle him, hoping to provoke any little response from whatever
was lurking inside of the healer.
---
The rush of power that resulted made him gasp and it was not from his magic
alone. He felt a familiar surge of furious energy as Justice surged forward and
their consciences mingled. His heart skipped a beat.  Justice…
Anders.
It was all the reunion that they were allowed. The heat hit him hard and with a
infuriated roar, his eyes began to glow and his skin cracked with light, so
bright that it shined through his robes. His aura crackled with power, but like
the mage he possessed, Justice was unable to summon any of it. In the absence
of it, his hand shot out and he grabbed the front of the robes of the old
magister in front of him and he lifted him off the ground.
“You will pay for what you’ve done!”
---
The old magister was too weak to fight off his grasp, but did let up on his
magic, ending the flow if blood magic into the healer’s body. Danarius smirked,
ready to tell the old grouch ‘I told you so’ and gripped Anders by the back of
his neck. “I knew there was something within you. Now put him down or I swear
you won't see Fenris again alive.”
---
The moment that the collar had been loosened for his healing weeks ago, Justice
had been conscious. Unable to make contact, but lurking in darkness and
watching as everything played out in front of him. The time he did miss, he’d
caught up on by examining the mage’s memories. He knew everything that had
happened since Orlais and he’d not felt the wrath of Vengeance like this since
they left Kirkwall.
“You!”
The magister was flung to the ground and his hand shot back to grab Danarius’
wrist. In a grip that could crack bone, far stronger than if Anders himself had
tried, he not only tore his hand off of him, but used it to yank the blood mage
in front of him, his face contorted with madness. “ You’re  the one that will
pay. You will  never  lay a hand on us again!” His voice boomed with power and
seemed to fill the entire room. His free hand came to grip his neck, every
intention of choking the life out of him, he used the grip to lift him off the
ground, much like he had the magister before.
---
As soon as he was off the ground, the demon in him pushed forward protectively.
His skin became hot enough to burn the hand holding it and his eyes flared with
crimson as he clutched at the hands that gripped him, snarling and building up
a great deal of magic. He was about to expend it to throw the other back when
the old magister began to chant. He was using a blood thrall spell, using the
little residual magic he'd left in the healer to try to take hold and puppet
him to set Danarius down.
---
He cried out when his hand burned, sending a rush pain up his arm, but he
didn’t let go. It wasn’t until he was compelled to by a force that he fought
but couldn’t resist that his arm lowered, returning him to his feet. He
expression was of pure fire as his hand released, letting go of the magister
without having harmed a hair on his head in spite of his scorching need to
protect his host and execute justice.  
---
The guards had been in the hallway and though they'd rushed into the room with
blades drawn, by the time they were ready, all appeared to be calm. Danarius
moved away from him, straightening his robes as his demon reluctantly gave
control back to him.
The old man, though clearly ruffled and cradling one of his arms after being
thrown like a rag doll, looked entirely fascinated. “A spirit! ...We are not
here to harm your host, only learn from him. What is your name?”
---
“He has already been harmed,” he growled, teeth gnashing. Though not the man
addressing him, his blazing eyes were fixed on Danarius and there was threat in
every inch of his compulsorily stilled body. “I do not speak freely with demons
or those who host them,” he spat, “My name is not your concern, but rest
assured that you will learn it when I end you.”
---
“That's quite enough.” Danarius moved around Justice, cautious as he approached
him from behind to make certain that the other still had a good hold on him. He
began to work at the collar again, trying to adjust the hold of it to give
Anders better access to his power but not enough for the spirit to come
forward.
---
As the power receded, Justice struggled to throw off the influence of the blood
magic, but his strength was stolen and his light dimmed, before going out
completely. When Anders regained awareness, he gasped and tried to look around,
but was unable to move. He had some idea of what had happened, but to his
dismay the magister was still in front of him and he could feel Danarius behind
him, as if nothing had happened. Justice had taken over, but he hadn’t been
able to overpower them and what spark of hope he’d had was snuffed out.
---
“Better.” Danarius moved away with the collar adjusted but still looked wary.
“There will be no more outbursts like that from you.”
The old man finally released his spell’s hold on Anders, looking relieved to do
so. “Heal your hands, child. Just two more tests and I'll be out of your hair.”
---
“...Outbursts?” He had to pretend like he didn’t know what happened. If he
didn’t play along, the blood mage would realize that he’d lied to him about
knowing about the spirit and would think he’d wanted this to happen. “What
happened?” He really did want to get an idea of what had happened and he wasn’t
going to risk looking inward for answers until they were gone.
Justice was still there, he could feel his overwhelming anger, but it felt as
if the connection was weak. He wasn’t sure if he was speaking to him or
attempting to, but he couldn’t hear anything and he didn’t dare probe while
under scrutiny.
He looked down at his hands and saw the burns, his brows lifting in surprise,
but he quickly restored them, noting that it was a lot easier than it had been
before. It seemed they’d found the sweet spot where they could give him more
power, without letting Justice free.
---
“Do not play coy with me. No spirit wandered into your body without making a
deal with you.” He scowled at him, his arms folding over his chest as the old
man moved closer to Anders with an empty vial in hand. “You had best keep it
reigned in. You will regret putting your hands on me.”
---
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He was determined to double down and
when the older man came closer, he backed up a couple of steps. “I didn’t do
anything to you, Danarius. I’m telling you, there’s nothing inside me, but if
you say there is… If that’s what just happened, it wasn’t me. I don’t know
what’s happening to me, but please, you can’t blame me if there’s something
there that I know nothing about.”
---
“You consented to this testing, Anders. Now stand still and let him take your
blood.” He sounded displeased, but patient enough. “We need that and a sample
of your magic. Then you can have the rest of the day off.”
---
“Then tell me that you believe me,” he insisted, not wanting whatever
punishment he was concocting. “I wouldn’t touch you, you know I wouldn’t. You
know why I’m doing this, why would I throw that away?” He didn’t back any
further away, but he kept his distance, wanting to establish this before
complying.
---
“I do not believe you. You'd best keep your hold on what's inside of you.” He
gestured to the old man who continued to wait, not drawing any closer. “If you
still want your night with Fenris, you will give him those samples now.”
---
He was alarmed and he shook his head. “No, I won’t. Not until you believe me.”
He was beginning to understand the man. He was dangling his night with Fenris
over his head so he might comply, but if he did, he intended to use the night
to torment them. This time it would be Fenris. He’d rather lose the night
altogether than have him suffer for what had happened here. “I won’t be
punished for something I didn’t do.”
---
“You won't. Fenris will be. I'm curious how he'll react when I tell him his
precious mage of his was wringing my neck today.” He turned for the door,
motioning for the old man to come along. “Sorry to waste your time, Marius.”
---
No shit, he wanted to spit. “Like I said from the start, you’re a fucking
coward.” He snarled at him, knowing everything had already been cocked up and
there was nothing he could do to fixed it. He would not get his night with
Fenris. He’d would not get another night with Fenris as long as they were here,
but as much of a blow that was, it only made him all the more determined.
“Consider this the last time I ever heal for you.”
He looked at the old man then, almost desperate. “Marius, is it? Convince him
to release me and my love and I will heal for you instead. I will do whatever
you wish me to, forever in your debt.”
---
“You will heal or you will regret it.” Danarius didn't slow, leaving the room
with his dumbfounded guards following along. Solea had been in the corner of
the room for the entire display and she hesitated for a beat after her master
left before rushing out into the hallway after him.
Marius lingered behind, eying the healer shrewdly. “I've tried to buy the
little wolf from him many times. I doubt he’ll part with him now, but he may be
willing to part with you. Just how far away can you get from the elf?”
---
“No. It has to be both, I will not abandon him. Everything I do, I do for him.
Please, there must be a way. Someone powerful, someone so powerful that even
Danarius cannot deny them. You’ve said there has been no spirit healers in this
land since you’ve been alive. I have value. I will do anything to keep us
together and keep him safe. Help me, please.” He was begging, taking a couple
of shaking steps towards him, his hands held out in plea.
---
“I will see what I can do. You deserve far better than this room.” He waved a
hand in a disdainful gesture at the guest room Anders was imprisoned in. “In
the meantime, I would have liked to finish my study on you. Perhaps when
Danarius has calmed, he will call on me again. It will give me another
opportunity to persuade him to let me have you.”
---
He was so grateful that he could have thrown himself at the man’s feet, but
instead he closed the distance between them. “You can have my blood. It is
yours. If you would help me, you can have it. You can study me and I will
answer every question you have. Take it now.” He was eager to be compliant if
it would make the man work any harder to see them freed. Compliance had only
worked with Danarius to a degree, but this man wasn’t him and he would show
that he could be useful.
---
His brows raised and he hesitated a moment as if to be sure he’d heard him
correctly before taking out the vial again. He pulled a blade from his robes
with a blade so thin and sharp that it was clearly meant to create small wounds
that would scarcely be felt by the patient. “Give me your arm, if you would let
me take of your blood, child.”
---
He offered his arm without hesitation, not caring what he used to do it. A
dagger or a scalpel. A pinprick, it didn’t matter. “All I ask is that you
hurry,” he told him, waiting for him to take his sample.
---
Before he could change his mind, he made a small cut with the knife. He
positioned the vial beneath the stream of blood he created, using a gnarled
hand to squeeze down the length of Anders’ arm to milk as much blood out as he
could. When he had enough, he pulled the blood away and with a little of his
creation magic he mended the tiny wound, as if forgetting that the mage could
have easily done it himself. “I will try. But I promise nothing. Danarius has
always been so possessive of his wolf. He’s never accepted any offer for him
and some outlandish ones have been made in the past.”
---
With the blood collected, he drew his arm back and, though it was healed, he
rubbed absently where it had been cut. “If coin will not sway him, it will have
to be someone important. As I said, there must be someone. The Archon, even. He
would have use for someone like me, would he not? If it came from the Archon,
he would have no choice, am I wrong?”
---
“It is complicated. The Archon could take you, but not Fenris. The elf has
legally been his since before he was born, since he also owned his mother. The
only way he’ll lose ownership of him if he doesn’t sign him over
willingly...well, Danarius would have to die.” Marius swirled the vial, then
plucked another from his pocket that was already filled with blood. He poured a
little of Anders’ blood into that vial, watching them mix together briefly,
then capped both vials.
---
His eyes fell to watch what he was doing and there was something questioning in
his eyes, but it didn’t matter. Not as much as what they were talking about.
“Someone doesn’t necessarily have to be willing to ‘willingly’ sign over
something. Enough leverage applied in the right place and people can be forced
to do things they otherwise wouldn’t wish to,” he suggested, not knowing if the
Archon would be willing or even care to put so much pressure on the man, but it
was all he had. Killing Danarius had been his plan all along, but if this would
work and be quicker, he just wanted to be free of the man’s clutches.
---
“Danarius is not someone that anyone wants to apply pressure to. You would be
better off looking for someone to assassinate him, truth be told.” Marius
tucked them both away, then moved away from the healer, his gait even slower
than it had been when he first came in. “Let me go speak to him. I need a slave
for my last test of your magic. Perhaps try to be more agreeable with him for a
little while or he may insist on keeping you out of spite.”
---
He would’ve been a lot more agreeable if the blood mage wasn’t going to hurt
the man he loved. Sure, it wasn’t shocking that he didn’t believe him, but he’d
played the part so insistently, why couldn’t he just accept it? “...Okay.” Why
did he need a slave? For that matter, really, what had he mixed his blood with?
He was so disconcerted by this, but he wouldn’t argue. This man was the best
hope he had, especially since Danarius knew what was inside of him and would be
even more careful in making sure the power could not be freed.
---
He turned to take his leave then, but before he could hobble his way to the
door, Solea was slipping back into the room. She looked meek and kept her head
low, nervous in a way she had never been before. “I believe I have convinced my
master that you were unaware of your spirit, ser. He said he will return
shortly.”
---
When Solea stepped into the room, he was surprised. He hadn’t noticed her
leave, but he was skeptical of what she had to say. He nodded and thanked her,
but wasn’t sure what to expect. Nothing good. He wanted to ask what she had
told him, but he would wait until they were alone. Just as he would wait to try
and speak to Justice.
---
Solea moved back to her corner, eager to be out of the way. Marius continued
out of the room then, but waited right in the hallway so he could have a word
with Danarius when he arrived. It hadn’t taken long and in minutes, both
magisters moved back into the guest room. Danarius watched Anders warily, but
his eyes were a little softer than before. “...I’m willing to consider that you
truly did not know about the presence inside of you. I will even forgive your
insolence toward me. But you must finish the testing if you want your night
with my pet.”
---
He didn’t trust him. The night wasn’t happening. Even if Danarius were offering
it to him, he wasn’t going to take it. He would not give him an opportunity to
hurt the warrior to get back at him. He was not so selfish as to put him
through that just to spend a night with him. It would be different if it was
his own skin on the line, but it wasn’t.
Still, he would go along. “Thank you,” he murmured, stepping a little closer to
Marius. “What must I do?”
---
“All you have to do is heal.” Marius plucked a small black stone from his
robes, then looked to Danarius. “Preferably a slave you don’t mind losing if
something goes wrong. I won’t have you griping me to my grave about how much my
experiments have cost you.”
Danarius didn’t hesitate to gesture to Solea. She was a useful source of
information, but any other slave could replace her in here and report just as
well. The elf girl had looked nervous before but now, for the first time, she
truly looked afraid. Still there was no hesitance in her as she stepped forward
and Marius slipped the stone into her hand, instructing her to hold it tightly
no matter what happened. “It will work best if it is a major healing surge. I
would like you to hold off until I say so. It should not be a problem for you
to mend, talented healer that you are.”
---
That alarmed him and he looked between the three of them. “Wait. Surely there
is a better way?” It wasn’t that he doubted his ability to help her, but he
didn’t know what they were going to do and the suggestion that she could die…
He didn’t want her hurt at all. Sure, he’d been distant with her since that
night, but it wasn’t her fault. She was a wonderful girl, stronger than he was
in many ways, and he had come to care about her in their time together.
---
“There is not. It is not easy to capture raw magic, child. But do this, and
your testing will be finished.” Marius insisted and put a gnarled hand on
Solea’s shoulder. She didn’t flinch from his touch, but she closed her eyes,
not wanting to know what was coming. “I am a man of medicine. She is not going
to feel any pain. I just need you to stay your hands and wait to heal her until
I give you the word. Understand?”
---
He was reluctant, but the reassurance gave him the willingness he needed to go
along with it. “I understand,” he replied, his eyes fixing on Solea and waiting
anxiously for what was to happen so he could get this over with and make sure
that she was okay.
---
Marius pulled the elf in front of him and she did not resist him, though she
was clearly shaking beneath his hand. He drew a knife then, larger than the
tool he’d used to collect blood but every bit as sharp. He also drew out a
little cloth that he ran over the blade which seemed to coat it in some sort of
oil. “You’ll feel a little pressure, little one. But you’re going to hold onto
that stone as if your life depends on it.” He told the girl just before he
dragged the knife across her throat. His words about there being no pain seemed
to be true because at first, she did not react. Only when blood began to wet
her robes did she open her eyes, looking more confused than anything. She
panicked when she saw all of the blood, but Marius kept his hold on her and
closed his hand over hers, making her keep her grip on the stone. It wasn’t
long before she started to slump in his frail arms and her quick, whimpering
breaths began to slow. The moment they seemed to stop, he looked up to Anders.
“Do it now.”
---
He was horrified when the knife was dragged over her throat and he took
everything in him not to heal her as soon as her blood spilled. The only reason
he didn’t was because of her lack of reaction. His heart was pounding in his
ears and he was sweating as realization struck him. He’d asked his earlier
question for a reason and he wanted him to bring her back from the brink. He
was about to break when he was given permission and he did not hesitate,
drawing from magic that he would have not had access to before his collar had
been loosened to resurrect her. The gesture he made, not dissimilar to the one
used at Danarius’ party, seemed to have true weight behind it, as if he was
physically lifting her away from death.
---
Solea gasped weakly when her breathing began again, her throat mending in an
instant as if the wound had never been there. Marius watched the spectacle in
awe, but was quick to snatch the stone back from the girl’s pale hand when it
was done. “Remarkable! That is all I needed from you, child. Forgive the mess,
I imagine she’ll feel up to cleaning it before long.” He let go of the slave to
let her settle the rest of the way to the bloodied floor before tucking the
stone away. “You could do wonders outside of these walls.”
“He’s doing wonders within these walls.” Danarius murmured, still a little
stunned despite having seen healing like this before from him. “We will leave
you be. Tomorrow night I will let you see my wolf.”
---
His expression flickered with a frown, unable to believe that either of them
would actually expect her to clean up her blood after they’d basically used her
as a lamb for slaughter. He wasn’t going to let her, even if she wanted to, but
that could be dealt with after they left. He gave Marius a slight bow of his
head, unwilling to say anything to him in front of Danarius, before turning his
attention on him.
“Your offer is generous, but I decline. If you would reward me, just give him
the night off to sleep.” It would be pointless to do him harm if he wasn’t
there to see it, so he would sacrifice seeing him to ensure he remained safe.
---
“You surprise me, Anders. You seemed to want your night with him so badly.” It
was nothing to him though, so the blood mage nodded. “Very well. To thank you
for your compliance, I will give Fenris the entire night to rest. Perhaps even
a glass of wine, he does so enjoy that.”
---
He did, but it wasn’t worth the risk. “Thank you,” he replied and left it that,
approaching Solea and crouching beside her to set a hand on her arm. “Are you
feeling alright?” She should be, but he just wanted to check in with her since
he was the only one that cared.
---
Her eyes opened and she looked at him with poorly hidden fear, but she nodded.
“I am alright, ser. I’m just feeling a little weak. I promise, I will move in
just a moment.” She wasn’t sure she could get up just get, but she was sure he
didn’t appreciate her lying in the middle of his floor. The magisters had
already stopped paying any attention to the healer or the slave on the floor,
talking amongst themselves as they made their way out of the room.
---
The look of fear made him draw his hand back as if burned, wounded, but it was
a look he was familiar with and he was resigned to it. It came with being what
he was. “Take your time,” he told her, before straightening back up.
---
She slowly pushed herself to sit up, weak and shaking, but not in any pain.
“...Thank you for helping, ser. And for trying to talk them out of doing it.
You are much too kind to me.”
---
“Why don’t you get changed?” he replied, not responding to her thanks. Since
she stayed in this room with him at near all time, she had a couple of changes
of clothing stored away. There was always a bucket of water kept near by and he
grabbed some rags. He gave her privacy by way of kneeling on the floor and
cleaning up the blood.
---
“I can take care of that, Anders. Please rest, I’m sure you are tired after
that.” She urged gently, but did as she was told. She moved to where her
clothes were kept and undressed, summoning a little water in her palms to rinse
blood from her chest before slipping into some clean robes.
---
“I’ve got it,” he assured her, having cleaned up many piles of bodily fluids in
his life. “I know you are okay, but that still was a shock to your system. You
should lay down and rest for a while.” He soaked up what he could and then
began scrubbing the stones to get the blood out of the cracks and crevices.
---
“I will, ser.” She would never argue, but she really did need to lie down. Once
she was dressed, she moved to the bed, curling up on it and pulling the sheet
over herself. “...I know you don’t remember what happened, but it was quite
frightening. I really thought you were going to kill all of us for a moment.”
---
He paused in his scrubbing at her words and bowed his head. If only. He only
wanted to kill Danarius, but if she’d been so frightened to believe it
possible, then Justice must have done better than he thought. He had gotten his
hands on Danarius, after all. “I am sorry to have frightened you,” he
apologized softly, resuming his motions.
---
“It is not your fault. I know you have been displeased with me, but you have
never given me any reason to think you would hurt me. You’re a very gentle man,
but whatever is in you is very angry. It lashed out at Ser Marius too. If he
had not stilled you, I think your spirit meant to kill anyone in its path.”
Solea nestled into the pillow, watching him with weary eyes.
---
Justice wouldn’t… He didn’t want to acknowledge that Justice had already done
such a thing, but that had been when their joining had been fresh. It had been
overwhelming for the spirit. A dead body was far different from a living one
and he’d not been prepared for the intensity of it all. He felt the very anger
that Solea spoke of give way to guilt and he knew that he was still there. It
was comforting for him to react to his thoughts.  I’m sorry, Justice, I know
you would not do such a thing. Not even here.  This was a reassurance for both
of them and he could tell that it had its intended effect.
Can you speak?
He was offered nothing and he frowned to himself, wondering if perhaps their
thoughts had become less distinctive in all the time spent away from Fenris. He
knew better, though. There was no influence on his thoughts and the silence was
the separation between them caused by the chain on his neck.
“You have nothing to fear from me or the spirit. Your master has collared me
well.” There was something bitter in his tone and as he finished with the
floor, he carried the bucket and rags over to be placed by the door so they
could be taken out.
---
“I don’t fear you and I hope I won’t have to fear the spirit either. I want to
help you.” She toyed with the corner of the pillow with her fingertips,
prodding at the tips of goosefeathers she could feel within. “That’s why I lied
to him today. For you.”
---
He stiffened and turned to look at her, suddenly regarding her warily.
“You...lied?” He spoke carefully, as if if he didn’t understand what she was
talking about. He approached the bed slowly, waiting to her to elaborate,
although he already knew what she was going to say.
---
“I did. I wanted him to believe that you really didn’t know about what was
inside. So I told him that in your sleep, sometimes you say or do things that
you don’t remember in the morning. He was cross with me for not reporting it,
but I apologized and said I did not realize it was anything more than
sleepwalking and it did not seem important.” She watching him as moved closer,
her fingers nervously worrying the pillow all the while. “I’ve...never lied
before, but it worked.”
---
“If I told you that I really didn’t know what was inside?” It seemed she knew
better, but he was testing to see. If she believed him, he would allow her
continue to think so. He continued to move closer until he stood beside the bed
and sat down on the edge of the it. He gave her some space, so he wasn’t too
close, but he was watching her carefully and taking note of her unease.
---
“It doesn’t matter to me whether or not you knew. It mattered that Danarius
believed you. So he wouldn’t hurt Fenris to punish you and he might still give
you the night with him.” She did not try to put any more space between them
when he sat down on the bed. It seemed she believed that she didn’t have
anything to fear from him, even if the sight of Justice and his rage had truly
terrified her.
---
There was a pause and then he reached for her hand, pulling it up and pressing
a kiss to the back of it. “You are too sweet for this place.” He scooted closer
to her, thoroughly touched that she put herself on the line to help him and her
reasoning for it thickened his throat. He kept her hand cupped in his and his
lips remained resting on the back of it, his eyes shutting. “Thank you. From
the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
---
She had never been touched so tenderly and her pale cheeks brightened with a
warm blush. But she gave him a slight smile, weak and weary as she was. “You do
not have to thank me, ser. You have saved my life twice now. I would never have
defied my master for anyone else, but you are too kind to me.”
---
“If you would lie to protect us, I trust you.” He eyes reopened and he lowered
their hands into his lap, but kept hold of hers. “I would give you reassurance
and tell you that he would not harm you.” He was admitting the truth so she
didn’t have to fear what would happen if the spirit ever came free. “My spirit
is one of Justice and the injustices that he sees here, what has been done to
me, to Fenris, even to you, is why he is so angry. He is a noble spirit and he
cannot stand aside and allow such things to happen, so he would punish those
responsible if he could.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Not you or any other
slave. You’ve nothing to fear.”  
---
“Of Justice?” She looked surprised at his admittance, but not afraid. When he
squeezed her hand, she gave it a light squeeze in return. “But I do not
understand. There is no injustice here, he owns us. He is only holding you
because you cannot separate from Fenris - he planned to let you go free the
night he came to Orlais. It is legal for him to do as he will with any of us.”
---
“How much do you know about the world outside of your master’s home? Outside of
Tevinter?” he asked, his eyes kind. He was curious, but it would help him to
explain better if he knew what she knew.
---
“Outside? Very little. I was born in this estate. Going to Orlais was my first
time off of the property. I was so glad to go, but...I didn’t get to see much
of it. I was taken along to serve his meals and wine and warm his bed. When I
finally got out, it was to light the way into your home and...well, that was
awful.” She lowered her eyes, looking rather guilty for reminding him of it.
---
In spite of the subject, he remained calm and didn’t betray the way his stomach
tightened. “Well, what if I told you that in the rest of Thedas, slavery is
against the law? That it is not tolerated and even the act of selling people is
harshly punished? It is all you know, sweet girl, but putting laws aside
entirely, it is not just that anyone should have their freedom and choice taken
away from them. People are not property to be owned - the only person that owns
you is  you .” He lifted a hand from hers and brushed a lock of hair back
behind her ear.
---
Just as she had when he took her hand and kissed it, she blushed and yet she
leaned slightly into the touch of his hand. It was clear that she had no idea
how to handle being touched gently and yet, she craved it. “...There are no
slaves anywhere else? I don’t understand. Who cooks and cleans? Who builds
homes or paves roads?”
---
“It just depends. You cook and clean for yourself. If you’ve money to spare,
you hire a servant. Servants serve many functions that a slave does, except
that they are given a wage and they are free to leave any time they please.
Imagine it. Any time, you could leave this place and find another residence to
take up work at. With someone who paid you better or treated you better.” He
could see the way he was affecting her, so he lightened up on the affection
after giving her a stroke of his hand over her hair.  “The life you live is not
normal. It’s not okay. When I get out of here, I want you to come with me.
Would you like that?”
---
“I want to go with you.” She said in a whisper, as if afraid her master might
overhear though he was on the side of the estate. “But I...I don’t know how to
be anything else. I wouldn’t know what to do. And I know what happens to slaves
that are not owned by anyone. You’d be a much better master. I’ll go with you
and serve you.”
---
“If you come with me, you would not be a slave. To me or to anyone else. I know
that it’s hard for you to understand, but you will see.” He gave her hand
another squeeze, before setting it down gently. “I am not a master and I will
never be your master. I’m your friend, okay?”
---
“I’ll go with you. But...can you be my master until we leave Tevinter? I don’t
want to be a stray. Bad things happen to strays.” She looked hopeful, but more
than a little nervous. She wanted to see other places and serve under someone
more gentle than her master, but the concept of life out of this household was
too foreign to really grasp.
---
“If anyone asks, I will tell them that I am.” He could agree to that much to
keep her safe and make her feel comfortable. He drew the line at treating her
like a slave, though. “If Marius cannot help us, I will have to find a way to
remove this collar. If I’m to defeat Danarius, I need my powers and I need
Justice.” It felt good to speak freely about this.
---
“I would not count on Ser Marius. But he has been carrying the tool he needs to
adjust your collar, at least when he is expecting to see you. There must be
some way for one of us to get our hands on it. Or perhaps even Fenris.”  She
didn’t know how, since her master was rather guarded even when he didn’t have
people who wanted him dead in his house.
---
“No, I will not involve Fenris.” Not at the risk of losing his memories. “If I
can avoid it, I will not involve you, either.” He didn’t want her risking
herself for him. “If you’re right about Marius, I will turn my focus on getting
the tool from him.” How, he had no idea, but he had time to think.
---
“It is probably best not to involve Fenris, but I will help you in any way that
I can.” If they did find some way to get the collar off, she might learn what
it was like to be more than a slave. To do anything she wanted to do, though
really, she had no idea what she might actually want to do if given that
freedom.
---
“Just keep everything I’ve told you to yourself, alright?” He doubted she spoke
to anyone about him, but just in case, he wanted to be clear that this was to
stay between them. It would be devastating if Danarius found out about any of
this and he didn’t want to picture what would happen.
---
“Of course.” She looked up to him, the corners of her lips turning up into a
slight smile. “I am a free elf now. The first thing I want to do with that
freedom is keep your secret.”
---
He smiled, happy to hear her say such a thing. It wasn’t that long ago that she
spoke of how good this place was to her and how she belonged here. He wanted
her to be free and that she wanted it too meant she was growing. “The first
thing you should do with your freedom is get some sleep,” he rose to his feet
to give her space, but before he could move away, he paused. “Solea, you said
that I have been displeased with you. I want you to know that I haven’t, I
just-...” He didn’t know how to say it and after struggling for a time, he
sighed, “You did nothing wrong, okay? If I made you feel that way, I am sorry.”
---
“I understand. But I am glad that you want to be my friend again.” She wrapped
her arms around the pillow she was settled on and closed her eyes. “He said
that he would give you the rest of today off. He is a man of his word, but if
someone does happen to come to your door in need of healing, you can wake me
and I will assist you.” She enjoyed helping him with patients and as long as
she got a little rest for her exhausted body, she wouldn’t want to miss any of
the action.
---
“I will,” he told her, even if he thought it better that she sleep. He too
doubted that he would receive anyone, so it mattered little. He made his way
over to the chair and dropped into it, slouching in it and thinking about
everything that had happened. It had been an easy day so far, but it had
already felt like it had been a long one and it wasn't even half over. If there
was no further excitement, that would be a blessing.
-----
When he returned to his pet, Danarius found him pacing nervously. He'd been
tucked away in a small room and though he normally wore a look of dread at the
sight of his master, for once Fenris rushed right to him. He knew why, of
course. He'd let his pet know that Anders would be tested, just as Fenris had
been to a lesser degree. He smirked and turned to go, trusting that the elf
would follow without being told for once. "He's fine, Fenris. He did very well
with all of it. He did everything I asked so he earned the reward I promised
him."
Fenris brightened at the words and though he was supposed to walk just behind
the blood mage, he found himself quickening his pace to walk alongside him so
he could study his master's face. The question was on his lips, but he didn't
dare speak without being prompted. Instead he asked with his eyes, an eager,
pleading look that clearly asked 'When will I see him?'
Danarius knew what he wanted, but decided to test him, letting him sweat a long
moment before rewarding his silence with an answer. "I offered that he spend
the night with you tomorrow, but he declined without even considering it, I'm
afraid. He asked that I just give you the night off to sleep instead. Isn't
that kind of him, Fenris?"
Fenris looked at the blood mage as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He
wanted to doubt him, but Danarius seemed so pleased as he said it, he knew it
had to be true. An answer was expected from him and so when he brought himself
to speak up, his voice shook slightly. "Yes, master. Please thank him for me."
Why would Anders choose not to see him? Clearly he had spent his reward to do
something kind for him, but if he didn't want to see him, perhaps his lover was
beginning to resent him since Fenris was the reason he was trapped here. He'd
wanted so desperately to see him and as he fell back into step behind Danarius,
he felt so defeated. His head was low and a couple warm, stray tears rolled
down his cheeks. Maybe he'd start missing him after a while and choose to see
him again the next week.
***** Chapter 10 *****
It was a few days later that Danarius invited Anders to dinner once more. He’d
gotten word back from Marius regarding the testing and while he didn’t get the
answers he wanted, he was still fascinated by the spirit healer. As usual, he
set about his meal slowly pulling things from the numerous platters that he may
want to eat. He wasn’t tearing his bites into pieces as he did occasionally,
apparently planning to have his meal to himself. Fenris was nowhere in sight,
though he’d considered having him close if only so he’d stop moping, but he
decided he’d get more answers from Anders without the distraction of the elf.
---
Anders assumed there was a reason for this dinner in particular and when he’d
stepped in, he’d scanned the table in hopes of seeing someone else. He’d hoped
that Marius would be joining them, anxious to find a chance to speak with him,
but when it was Danarius sitting alone, he held in a disappointed sigh and sat
down. He waited to be served, eager to get this over with so he could go back
to his room as soon as possible.
---
When Danarius waved at the slaves, they hurried over to the table to set
Anders’ meal out in front of him. Rather than a goblet of wine that usually
went untouched, to accompany his water, a mug of warm tea was set out with his
food. “Good evening, Anders.” Danarius didn’t set right into what he wanted to
talk about as he normally did, seeming more interested in finishing the piece
of honeyed chicken he was working on.
---
The mug caught his attention and he plucked it closer to look down into it. Was
that...tea? “Danarius,” he responded, but his tone was questioning and he was
looking pointedly at the mug. He didn’t trust it and, wondering if it was
spiked with something, he lifted it to sniff. He was able to identify some of
the herbs used and there was nothing to arouse his suspicion, but he set it
back down.
---
“You think I would poison a rare spirit healer?” Danarius asked with a soft
chuckle when he saw the suspicious way Anders inspected the mug’s contents. “I
gave my wolf a sip of wine last night and mentioned in passing that you never
partake. He told me you would prefer tea.”
---
That slowed him and his expression softened, looking at the mug as if it were
the warrior himself. “I see,” he responded, slowly picking it back up and
sipping at it. It tasted good enough and it was a pleasant change from the
water he was use to. He nursed it a little longer, before setting it aside so
he could eat.
---
“He was so disappointed when I told him you chose not to spend the night with
him. I think he was really looking forward to it. He’s dragging his feet ever
since.” He looked pleased that Anders was finally enjoying the tea and dug back
into his own meal. But he kept an eye on the mage, wondering if he would feel
guilty for opting not to see the elf.
---
He jaw set, well aware that the only reason he was saying this was to get a
reaction out of him. As such, he didn’t look away from his plate. “I do hope he
slept well,” he replied, even though it did hurt to think about the night they
could have had. He knew that it had to have been just as difficult for Fenris,
if not more so. He didn’t doubt that he had been left in the dark as to why it
had been necessary, but he assumed the warrior figured he had good reason for
it.
---
“He did. He didn’t want to wake when his night off was over.” His hand moved to
his goblet and he took a long sip from his wine. “I spoke with Ser Marius about
the testing he did on you and my pet. We still can’t find an explanation for
your binding with him. But you...are a Warden?”
---
He glanced up at the mention of Marius, not having realized that they’d tested
Fenris similarly. It didn’t surprise to learn of it, knowing that he would want
to figure out their bond and break it if possible. He’d told Fenris at the
beginning of it that if they were to find answers, they would most likely be in
Tevinter, and he was relieved to hear that they hadn’t discovered anything. He
hoped that as long as he pretended to know nothing of Justice, they would not
be able to figure out what the source of it was or do anything about it.
When he went on, Anders gave what could only be described as a dry chuckle.
“They do say you never leave the Wardens, but I’ve managed a rather spectacular
job, wouldn’t you say?”
---
“You have. It at least explains your physical strength. Still, your magic is
astounding. The raw magic collected in his stone was very powerful and that was
after I’d restricted your magic again. He’s going to make good use of it. It’s
a pity he couldn’t get any reaction from it or your blood when combined with
the samples from Fenris. Marius wants to employ you, he’s been quite adamant
about it.” He was studying him closely, but still picking slowly at his food.
---
Being reminded of his status as Grey Warden had him thinking, but he doubted he
could work it to his advantage. “Does he?” He met his gaze, studying him right
back. “You wish me gone then?” Somehow, he doubted that, but he wanted to see
what he had to say about it.
---
“Of course not. I’ve quite liked having you here. And I think it’s good for my
pet to see you once in awhile.” He smirked, but then gave a little shrug. “But
you are not my prisoner. If you want to work for Marius, we would simply test
how far you can get from Fenris or break the bond. He would not be going with
you.”
---
“I’m not your prisoner?” he repeated derisively. “I’m not you prisoner?” That
time he just sounded angry. “Oh then, my mistake. I didn’t know that I wasn’t
your prisoner. If it’s all the same to you, how about you take off my collar if
I’m not your prisoner?” No, he hadn’t been treated like a prisoner in the
traditional sense, but he was locked in a room, forced to bend to his whim, and
punished when he refused.
---
“If you didn’t mean to take my property from me, I would gladly. I never wanted
to collar you. I never wanted to do anything more than pay you for your trouble
and go on my way.” He was a little surprised by the mage’s anger and his tone
was low. “If you want your collar off and you want to go, help me separate you
from Fenris and you can be on your way.”
---
He narrowed his eyes at the suggestion, but it actually made him pause to
think. If he would separate them, he’d just let him go? No, it wasn’t that
simple. It was never that simple. If he would separate them, he would use the
opportunity to kill him. Say what he wanted about ‘letting him go’, he didn’t
mean it. Even if he did and even if he removed his collar - the thought stirred
him - with the intent to free him, he would take precautions. He would see him
taken out of Tevinter and far from either of them before he allowed it to be
removed.
“Would it not be simpler to duel me? It needn’t be to the death. You don’t want
me to die, if only for Fenris’ sake, and truthfully, I couldn’t give a
darkspawn’s taint if you live, I just want us to be released. We could come to
terms. If you win, I’ll help you separate us and I…” It was difficult to even
say, but he forced the words. “I will go. If I win, you will let us go and fuck
off.”
---
“Why would I agree to a duel? I already have exactly what I want. Fenris is
home and, at least momentarily, obeying my every whim.” He chuckled softly and
plucked a grape from his plate. “I am simply saying that you are not my
prisoner and if you want to leave, we just need to get you separated from him.”
---
He snorted softly. “If nothing else, it is satisfying to hear you cow to me.”
He meant it every time he called him a coward and whatever intimidation Marius
had spoken of, he knew that it couldn’t come from his abilities. Not if he was
so reluctant to call on them.
---
“Three.” He looked to an elf against the wall who nodded to confirm that he
heard it. He looked back to Anders then and ate the grape he'd been playing
with. “So would you like to test how far you can get from my pet so you can
work for Ser Marius instead?”
---
The number was disconcerting and he vaguely remembered him counting before, but
he didn’t know the purpose of it. Nothing good, undoubtedly. “I wouldn’t tempt
me with distance, Danarius,” he growled, finding that his anger was getting the
better of him. Justice. “Killing us or leaving him to a lifetime with you,
there isn’t much of a choice in that, is there?” He meant it, but only to a
degree. He would not jump to such an extreme unless he had no other choice.
---
“Very well. Then I suggest you learn to be comfortable in the home I provide
you. You had been doing so well. My little wolf hadn't paid for your insolence
for a long time until this evening.” He didn't seemed bothered at all by
Anders’ anger, serenely lifting his goblet and taking a sip. “How is your tea,
Anders?”
---
Of course, that just managed to piss him of all the more. He grabbed the mug of
tea and threw it across the room where it shattered against a wall. “I wouldn’t
forget that distance isn’t the only way for me to rob you of your ‘little
wolf’,” he growled, unable to push back the rage that Justice was readily
supplying.
---
“Four.” He looked to Solea this time. “Why don't you take Anders back to his
room? I think we're quite finished dining together.”
The girl bowed her head, then hurried to the angry healer’s side. “Please, come
with me.”
---
“Coward,” he snapped, rising to his feet and storming out of the hall. Outside
it, he lifted a hand to his forehead, clutching it tightly, but did not break
his stride. In the privacy of his room, he began to pace with agitation,
realizing that Marius had tried, but not hard enough.
---
“Five.” The voice had called as Anders left, somehow sounding both amused and
disappointed. Solea stood by the door of his room once they were locked back
inside, wringing her hands. “...What will we do if he does not call you to
dinner any more? It is the closest either of us ever get to him and the key to
your collar…”
---
“Why wouldn’t he? It may take him days, weeks, but he will want to see me
again.” She knew her master better than he did, but he knew this much. “I
couldn’t have gone with Marius, what would it have accomplished?” he spoke
aloud, more to himself than to her. “He didn’t even try, did he?” His hand
pressed harder and then he growled, throwing it aside.
---
“He knows he can not buy Fenris from him. He only really wants you.” She had
known Marius would only try for what he wanted. It was the way of all of the
magisters. “I hope you are right. That he will see you again.”
---
“Solea, please.” He couldn’t stand to listen to her negativity. He dropped down
onto his ass on the floor, using the bed to as a back rest as he pulled in his
knees and dropped his forehead against them. “Why was he counting?” It had to
do with Fenris. It had to.
---
“I don't know. But if he's assigning it to another slave, it is probably a
gentler punishment. It's the ones he likes to give himself that are the worst.”
She doubted it was all that reassuring, but her tone was soothing. She could
hear footfalls in the hallway and she pressed closer to the door, not sure who
would be coming after they were dismissed.
---
He shouldn’t have kept going, but he hadn’t been able to help himself.You have
to calm down. Something is going to happen to him and it will be our fault.He
told Fenris to be good, then turned around and wracked up punishments for him.
“I wish he would just hurt me,” he mumbled to himself, knowing that he would
have no qualms about spitting in his face if he would.
---
“He knows that is the best way to hurt you, Anders. And that keeping you away
longer is the best way to hurt Fenris.” She listened closely, moving back from
the door nervously as the footfalls of men grew near, but was surprised when it
sounded as if they went on to the next room instead.
---
“You don’t know him,” he argued, not wanting to hear that. “You don’t know
Fenris.” She didn’t know all the ways he could be hurt and he was sure the
blood mage had dabbled in all of them. “He’s strong. He’s stronger than anyone
I know. He’s stronger than me.” Here, though, he didn’t know how true that was.
---
“I'm sure he is very strong, ser. He's probably- “ Her words cut off and she
startled visibly when the muffled sound of a cracking whip came from the other
side of the west wall of the room. It was followed by four more in quick
succession before there was a pause. In that time, she moved closer to Anders,
wanting to be far away from that sound. When they started up again, the second
whip in that set was followed by a string of harsh Tevene curses in Fenris’
tight, anguished voice.
---
Anders stiffened and it didn’t take but one crack of the whip for him to know.
His hands dug into his hair and he pulled so tightly his knuckles were white.
When it stopped, he was froze, but as soon as it started up again, his hands
dropped to cover his mouth to muffle his screams.
---
By the third set, the snarling curses and insults were beginning to sound like
pleas instead. Solea dropped to her knees beside Anders, wrapping her slender
arms around him trying to cradle him in a way that would at least somewhat
cover his ears. “He counted to five. It's almost over.” She told him in a
wavering voice, wishing she could shelter him from all of the sound until it
was over.
---
He screamed and screamed, until he choked himself on tears he didn’t even
realize had fallen. He fell into harsh sobs that too were muffled by his hands
as he rocked in place. “Fenris,” he whimpered, the name almost a plea. Fenris
had kept him safe everyday they were together and he had the audacity, the
audacity, to ask him to come and protect him now.
He was the one being punished, the one taking lashes, the one that neededhim,
but for a brief moment, all Anders could wonder was why he wasn’t bursting in
the room, scooping him up, and carrying him out. It was so selfish, but he’d
come to see him as his protector. He relied on him, knowing no matter what
happened to him, no matter how dire the circumstance, Fenris would come running
to save him. The reality that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t, when he needed him
more than anything left him feeling vulnerable.
---
It seemed that Fenris hadn't been told how many times he would be punished
because he was still shrieking for them to stop in a strangled blend of the
common tongue and Tevene after the fifth set had ended. It took some time for
him to quiet before the footsteps started back down the hall, this time damped
by the sound of them dragging the warrior along.
Solea held him tightly, rocking him and trying to soothe him. “It's over. It's
alright now, Anders. I'm so sorry he made you hear that. We'll get him out, I
promise…”
---
When he heard them moving, everything snapped back into place and he broke away
from the her to scramble to the door. “Let me heal him!” he cried, able to hear
the footsteps as they passed right by him. He banged on the door with his
fists, yelling and begging them to bring him to him so he could heal him.
---
“Anders!” Fenris cried back hoarsely, his lover's voice more soothing than any
healing might have been. “I need to see him! Stop! Just for a moment! Please!”
His begging now was apparently as effective as it had been during his
punishment because it was starting to fade, growing distant as the other slaves
continued to pull him down the hall.
---
When his voice was gone, Anders transferred his desperation from the door to
his collar, digging his fingers underneath it and yanking on it. It
accomplished nothing but bruising his neck and his fingers, but he had to get
it off of him. He had to get out of here and help his beloved. Fenris needed
him, needed him to soothe his wounds, both inside and out.
---
Solea sat on the edge of the bed, a frown on her lips. She wanted to serve him,
yet there was nothing she could do for him. After watching him claw fruitlessly
at his neck for far too long, her fingers began to crackle. Ice was forming
between them and she began to shape a little pick that looked somewhat like the
tool Danarius used to adjust the collar. “Come sit down, Anders. Let me try
something.” She was all but sure that it wouldn't work, but he might calm down
while she toyed with it at least.
---
It took a few rough jerks of the collar before he looked up at her. He saw what
was in her hand and as soon as it clicked, he let go and crawled over to her.
When he reached the bed, he pushed himself up and sat down beside her, offering
her his neck. He knew better than to think it would work, but he was so
desperate that he was willing to try anything.
---
She started to work the little piece of ice into the clasp of the collar. Of
course, nothing happened. But she drew back her fingers briefly to reform the
pick, changing it slightly, then tried again. It was an hour before her mana
ran dry, leaving her panting softly as she tried again and again. By the time
she could no longer summon the ice, she had been trying freezing the clasp
itself and pulling it apart with her hands.
---
After a few tries, he grew despondent. The rest of the time was spent sitting
with his shoulders slumped, letting her do what she wanted since he couldn’t
bring himself to do anything else. Only when she was trying to physically pull
it off did he reach up to still her. “We’ll get the tool.” He hadn’t wanted to
include her, but he would have to. For Fenris, they would have to take a risk
and he was more than willing.
---
“Of course we will.” She slumped where she sat beside him, weary and defeated.
But at least he had calmed. There had to be a way to get the tool from her
master. If anyone could do it, it was her. Wary as the man was, he still
expected complete devotion from her and somehow she’d find a way to get close
enough.
---
After some time in silence, he spoke up softly. “Will you lay with me?” He
needed something. Something to fill the gap that Fenris left empty. It wouldn’t
be enough, nothing would, but he’d take just about anything right now.
---
“You know I will.” And not only because she had to. She moved up on the bed to
settle against the pillows and grabbed his sleeve, tugging for him to follow.
She hadn’t been able to comfort him while Fenris was being tortured, but
perhaps she could do something for him now.
---
He followed the tug and when he was beside her, he urged her roll on her side
away from him. As soon as she was there, he dropped behind her and slid his arm
around her middle. He tugged her in, molding her body to his, and he held her
close, his face buried in the back of her neck.
---
The way her cheeks flushed, she was relieved that she had turned away from him.
She was used to being touched in so many ways, but never in the ways this
gentle mage touched her. The elf settled back against him and her hand moved to
rest on the arm draped around her. She found herself wondering if this was how
he used to lie with Fenris and if he was drawing comfort from pretending she
was him.
---
His eyes shut and though everything about her felt wrong, she was a warm body
to hold. It wasn’t enough, as he’d expected, but it was something. Something
was better than nothing.
---
Solea had never felt quite so safe in her life. Not even when her mother had
held her before she was given to Danarius as a child. This man was strong and
kind, a mage who promised her freedom. There was a slight smile on her lips as
she closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep before he might change his mind and
decide he’d rather sleep alone.
 
***** Chapter 11 *****
Weeks had passed with both Danarius and Fenris out of sight. They had enough
patients to fill the hours, but the days were still long when they were only
permitted out of the room to bathe. Solea had been expected another patient
when a knock came at their door one evening, but instead it was a summons to
dinner.
Having had plenty of time to think of ideas, she told Anders what she planned
to do now that they finally had a chance to get close to her master again. It
was extremely risky, but it was time that they took a risk. Especially if their
chances would be coming so few and far between.
She was nervous as she lead the way to the dining hall, wringing her hands as
she often did when she wanted to take action but had to bide her time. She saw
her master seated in his usual place, having already started his meal alone. He
smiled to see them enter, as if seeing an old friend after a long absence.
“Anders. Come have a seat.”
---
In the passing weeks, Solea had been a saving grace. Since the night of Fenris’
punishment, the mage had taken to sharing the bed with her. Not in the way
Danarius had intended, but he curled up with her every night and held her to
him, giving her simple attentions and taking comfort in not being completely
alone. Isolated as he felt, he knew that it could be worse and after opening
himself up to her, he felt better.
When there was no one else in the room, they’d spent a lot of time talking
about what they could do to get out of here, but always came up with impossible
or risky ideas. It had become clear that no matter what they did, there would
be a lot of risk, so when Solea told him what she planned to do after receiving
the unexpected summons, he couldn’t bring himself to argue. He didn’t know the
next time he would be summoned and he couldn’t bide his time any longer.
When he was greeted, he met the smile with a face set in stone, offering only
the barest form of acknowledgement in looking at him. He sat down as told, his
spine stiff and betraying some of the anxiety he felt, but that was easily
explained away by their last interaction and what resulted.
---
“I wasn't sure we'd be dining together again.” The words were honest and he
gestured for Anders to be served. “But I might need more from you than your
patient care, I'm afraid. My little wolf is...unwell.” He imagined that would
get the healer’s attention, but he watched him closely, sipping at his wine.
---
He really doubted that. ‘Dining together’ was the only time he spared to check
up on him and he doubted that the man would’ve just left him to his own devices
for much longer than he had. If he had for long enough, he would’ve stopped
treating the people brought in to him and, if things had gotten bad enough, he
might’ve made good on his threat to him. No, killing himself wouldn’t rob
Danarius of Fenris, but it would give Justice to him and the moment the blood
mage dared to take off his collar, he’d be in for quite the surprise.
When he spoke of Fenris, his expression flickered, but he regained the
emotionless demeanor in a breath. “That tends to happen when you torture
someone.” His voice was indifferent, but inside his heart was throbbing with
concern. The fact that something was wrong with was bad enough, but if it was
such that the magister was coming to him… He didn’t bother to question because
he knew that he would be told.
---
“You have a fair point. But he has been more unwell than usual. He's been
moping around ever since you turned down your night with him. But in the
passing weeks, it's gotten a lot worse. This week he stopped eating. Of course,
I don't tolerate such antics and he was force fed yesterday. Still, I think his
depression is getting a little out of hand. I thought I'd ask if you would be
agreeable to seeing him over dinner tonight. I think it may improve his
spirits.” Not that he really cared whether or not his pet was happy. He
shouldn't be, not after all the trouble he had caused. But he'd at least like
to see if there was a little fight left in him.
---
That wasn’t nearly as bad as what he’d expected to hear, but it bothered him to
hear that he was starving himself. He’d told him that it might take awhile to
get them out of here, but just a few weeks and he’d already given up on him.
Had it been that bad for him? It was a struggle to organize all of thoughts,
but there was a purpose to tonight and if he succeeded, he’d show the warrior
that he need never doubted him.
“I think you already know the answer.”
---
“I'm glad that I do.” He waved a hand then, the servants in the room knowing
they were meant to fetch Fenris. The elf trudged in with them when they
returned, his eyes fixing immediately on Anders. He looked unwell, as Danarius
had said, and not only in the defeated way he carried himself. Some of his
wounds had been left to fester too long and he looked feverish, pale but
flushed on the high points of his cheeks. He started to walk toward Anders, but
was quickly redirected to sit in the chair across from him, at Danarius’ side.
The blood mage began pulling apart his food as he ate, putting aside scraps as
he did once in awhile as a treat for his pet. “Have you missed your Anders,
little wolf?” He asked and got a nod in return, though the elf was still
looking at the healer.
---
He watched him step in and his eyes flickered with concern, but even faced with
his ailing lover, he was able to keep on a mask of indifference. Reacting in
any way, positive or negative, would result in consequences and he wouldn’t put
it past the blood mage to decide to fuck with him to ruin this ‘reunion’.
Unlike him, Fenris could show all the emotion he wanted, since nothing he did
ever reflected on the mage.
He met his gaze as he took his seat and he wanted to tell him that everything
would be okay, but he didn’t know if that was true. Even if it was, he couldn’t
say it in their present company.
“If you want him to feel better, you should probably start by letting me heal
him,” he commented coolly, his eyes not leaving his face.
---
“He has been healed.” Danarius said with a little shrug, then set the little
plate with bits of food he'd torn apart from his own bites in front of Fenris.
He smirked when the elf eagerly began to eat what was in front of him,
apparently over his brief hunger strike. “And it seems that seeing you has
mended his appetite as well.”
Fenris’ lips twitched into what was almost a smirk that didn't reach his eyes,
but it was quickly masked by his eating. He'd thought when he was force fed
that he wasn't going to get anything out of his little defiance, but it seemed
it had won him a little moment with Anders.
---
“Then a bad job has been done of it - he is ill.” He didn’t miss a beat and
backhanded of a comment as it was, he spoke with no inflection. “It would be
beneficial to him to receive a proper healing.” He really did want to, but even
if he wasn’t allowed, it might not matter soon enough. He had to keep his eyes
from flicking over to where Solea was standing.
---
“He is ill, but not injured. He's quite alright. Perhaps if the two of you keep
your heads tonight, we can discuss you laying hands on my pet.” He didn't seem
keen on letting Fenris sip from his own goblet for once and instead ordered for
a little to be poured for him. The elf took that offering just as greedily as
he had taken the food. “Before we discuss that, I wanted to talk to you about
something else. Relating back to the story I was telling you once about Fenris
and his family.” The words seemed to catch Fenris’ attention, finally pulling
his gaze away from the healer to look at Danarius.
---
He hummed in response and started in on his own food. He only got a few bites
in when the abrupt change in topic drew his eyes in, just as it had Fenris’. He
looked at him blankly, as if he couldn’t care less what he had to say. In a
way, it was true. It was clear that he was bringing it up not because he wanted
to continue the conversation or because he wanted to speak to him, but because
Fenris was there and he was right, he wanted to fuck with them. Really, it was
so petty that it was pathetic.
---
“I was going to tell you about his sister. His mother didn't last long at all
as a former slave out on the streets. But his sister, she was a survivor. And a
mage.” He smirked, shifting his eyes briefly to Fenris. “I don't think you
hated mages quite so much when you remembered how you adored her. Though
clearly you've gotten over it, seeing your attachment to dear Anders.”
Fenris was staring at his master with wide eyes, his lips parted in a look of
surprise and intrigue. “...Our mother didn't want anyone to know. She told her
never to use her magic when we were out playing in the gardens. Playing where
someone might see..” He wasn't talking to Danarius, but murmuring to himself,
deeply lost in the scrap of memory he was experiencing and desperate to cling
to it.
---
His own eyes widened slightly, not having expected that. His sister? A mage? He
turned his eyes on Fenris as he spoke and watched him, a slight frown on his
lips. He remembered? He wanted to reach out, across the table, and take his
hand. He didn’t know how he was remembering, but it made his heart jump. The
memory loss… wasn’t permanent?
---
Danarius didn't seem surprised that Fenris had remembered something. His wolf’s
wasn't the first memory he'd erased, after all. “Do you remember her name? Do
you remember your name?”
Fenris didn't answer right away, his brow furrowed as he searched his mind
desperately. “...No. But I remember her.”
Danarius appeared content with the answer and looked back to Anders. “What I
meant to tell you was that had the both of you stayed in Kirkwall just a little
longer, I would have found you two sooner. You see, his sister approached me
during my search for my pet. She wanted to work for me and offered to track
Fenris for me. She was so eager to turn him in for a chance at being my
apprentice and she'd hunted for him until she found that he was staying in
Kirkwall. A trap was already being laid when the two of you fled, she knew he'd
come running to her rescue if she made her presence known in that town.”
That seemed to snap Fenris out of his haze and his entire body tensed, his lips
pulling back into a snarl. “You're lying. She's my family. She would never do
that.” But he sounded as doubtful as he did angry. He didn't really know her
anymore and Danarius always preferred to hurt him with truths rather than lies.
“Do you think so? I'll summon her tomorrow. She's just dying to tell you how
much you ruined her life by granting her and your mother freedom.” The blood
mage challenged with a raise of his brow. It had been a long time since Fenris
had dared to speak to him like that. The elf got a white-knuckle grip on the
edge of the table to keep himself still, his head bowing and his hair falling
to obscure his face as he tried to process what he'd been told.
---
What a cunt. Both the woman he spoke of and the man speaking. He was listening
to his tale, clearly not meant for him, but his attention was entirely fixed on
Fenris, trying to read him. Danarius had never mattered less. He was clearly
upset, but this was coming out of nowhere and he wasn’t sure what he knew or
remembered. He didn’t know if this sense of loyalty he had - or the betrayal
that stemmed from it - came from the memories or his beliefs about what family
entailed. Either way, it was clear that the blood mage was getting what he
wanted from revealing this to the warrior.
“Fenris,” he spoke softly, but resolutely. He was trying to get his attention
and though his expression was hard to read, there was compassion in his eyes.
---
Fenris’ eyes rose to find his lover, the pain written all over his face
softening a little as soon as he met his gaze. “Anders…” He needed him so
badly. He started to shift out of his chair, wanting to go to him, but Danarius
stilled him by clearing his throat. “We're not finished eating, little wolf.
Stay in your seat. Anyway, that was what I meant to tell you, Anders. We could
have easily met in Kirkwall instead.”
---
When he started to shift, Anders gave a subtle shake of his head, telling him
to stay where he was himself. He couldn’t take his eyes of him and there was so
much that he wanted to say but no way to say it, so all he did was look at him
with all the love that he felt. When Danarius finished his lackluster tale, he
ignored him. The words registered, but they passed through without impact and
he showed no indication that he was listening.
He picked up a bit of food without looking at what he was grabbing and lifting
in his lips. He held it there and waited, showing Fenris that he wanted him to
continue eating, before pushing it past his lips and chewing slowly.
---
Fenris watched him intently and after a long moment, he took the hint. He felt
more ill than he had before, but his fingers found a scrap of bread Danarius
had given him and he made himself resume eating. The blood mage frowned when he
felt he'd gone ignored and decided perhaps he'd try something else to regain
the healer’s attention. “Perhaps all three of us should dine together more
often. Seeing you has livened him up. He might not be such a bore when I take
him to bed tonight.”
Fenris dropped the fruit he'd been about to eat, already pale but blanching at
the comment made in front of Anders. Solea could see from where she stood that
her master was instigating trouble and so she moved to one of the children
holding a flagon of wine, snatching it away from the confused little boy and
moving to the table. She purposely put herself between Anders and Danarius as
she began to pour her master's wine with shaking hands.
---
His gaze lost focus as he went still, no longer seeing anything in front of
him. Nothing, nothing. There was nothing, he was nothing. Except that wasn’t
true, the world had not stopped. The world continued to move and it was only
him that was stuck. The veneer he’d covered himself in visibly cracked away and
his body sank with grief. His head bowed and his limbs trembled, but still, he
did not respond. Verbally, anyway, the way in which he folded into himself was
all the response he needed.
---
Danarius could see that it had been heard and was pleased to go on. “He was a
lot of fun those first couple weeks. Kicking and clawing and biting. ‘Stop!
I'll kill you! Anders!’” His imitation of his pleas won a growl from Fenris and
it looked as if the elf wanted to lunge at him. But the blood mage knew that he
didn't quite dare. Still, the guards moved in a little closer. “Lately he just
lays there and takes it, just like he used to. It's rather dull, I'm afraid.”
Solea dropped the flagon suddenly, dousing all four of them with wine to some
degree, but Danarius most of all. It wiped the amused look right off his face
and his eyes turned on the trembling girl with cold displeasure.
“I-I’m so sorry, master. Please, let me redress you.” Solea dropped into a low
bow, the terror on her face genuine, but not for whatever punishment she might
receive. Danarius sighed and rose to his feet. “Let's go then. A guard will
escort you to your room when you're finished eating, Anders.”
---
Tears pricked at his eyes and by the time the wine was spilled, they had
streaked down his face. He knew what was happening, what Solea was doing, but
he didn’t so much as blink when he was splashed. It was out of his hands. It
had been since they’d gotten here, but he’d deluded himself into thinking that
he could make his time here more bearable, safe. Even were it true, he couldn’t
even say that he’d done his best on that front, many of Fenris’ punishments
coming as a direct result of his actions. He felt so numb that even the emotion
pouring in from Justice was suffocated.
---
Danarius left the room, the slave girl at his heels desperately apologizing and
insisting she would clean him up. Fenris had not followed willingly, making a
futile attempt to try to get to Anders, and had been dragged out of the room
after them by guards. This left just a few slaves and guards to wait on Anders,
eager to serve him more food and drink or take him back to his room.
---
Only when Fenris was being dragged out did he break out of his reverie to watch
him go. He looked around him, as if searching for something, but when he
realized he was alone, he stood. “I will return to my room,” he announced,
before taking his leave, knowing that he would be followed. Inside the room,
the lock clicked behind him and he sank back against the door, still so numb.
Solea. Solea would return and when she did, Danarius would never lay a finger
on Fenris again.
---
It was nearly an hour later that Solea was let back into Anders’ room. She was
walking stiffly, just as she had the night she'd been whipped alongside Fenris,
but she was smiling. Grinning even, as she stepped in past Anders. She wasted
no time in showing him her prize - the little tool made to fit Anders’ collar.
“Turn around, I'll help you take it off.”
---
He didn’t know how much time had passed when she stepped inside, but when his
eyes fell on the familiar tool, his eyes welled once more. He sucked in a
shuddering breath and then he all but rushed at her, lifting his head to offer
his neck to her. “Hurry,” he told her, never having sound so urgent as he did
now.
---
She did as she was told, working it into the collar as soon as he was in reach.
She had no idea what she was doing, so it took some trial and error to make it
release. When it finally did, she pulled the collar off as it broke away,
letting it clatter to the floor. “...I did it!” For the first time she'd done
something with a greater purpose than serving someone above her.
---
As soon as the collar fell, the surge of power that ran through his body made
him gasp. He’d forgotten what it felt like and he finally realized how crippled
he had been. His fingers flexed and then the dimly lit room exploded in light
as Justice gained his footing and shot out of the depths of his mind where he’d
been imprisoned. He was blinding and his hands shone so brightly they weren’t
even visible as he summoned terrifying power that seemed to warp the very air
around him.
His hand flicked and the door to the room flew out from the wall with a loud
blast, leaving behind only a hole. He turned his unnatural gaze on the slave
and the magic around him seemed to crackle with threat.
“You will show me where he is.”
---
The moment he turned to her, the girl look terrified of him. But Anders had
talked to her about the other inside of him. That be wouldn't hurt her and she
had no reason to fear him. With that in mind, Solea set her jaw and nodded. “Of
course, Justice. Come with me.” She sounded a little braver than she felt and
she lead the way out of the obliterated door, shaking in pain and fear, but
also in excitement about the potential liberation about to come.
---
In spite of his rage, so dangerous that he could feel the corruption weaving
tendrils around his heart, he followed her at a walk, moving as if weighed down
by all that he was summoning. When they came across guards stationed in the
hall, they scarcely had time to ready themselves. A flash of light and all that
was left of them were piles of unidentifiable limbs and blood that sprayed so
far that it finely misted over his front. He didn’t even break his stride.
---
The sight made her gasp and she had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle a
little scream. She'd seen awful things happen to other slaves that blood magic
had done, but she hadn't expected such from Justice. “Please, please try not to
kill any slaves that don't come after us.” She pleaded softly when she found
her voice. “They are only doing what they must to survive. They will lay down
their arms once he is dead.” She kept her head low, as if afraid she'd be
vaporized just for the request, but continued to lead him forward, choosing a
route where they would encounter more servants than guards. Servants who would
keep their mouths shut as long as she signaled them to carry on with their own
business.
---
“All will pay for what they’ve done. If they stand in my way, they will pay.”
His voice echoed threateningly through the halls. When they came across
servants, his hands glowed brighter and bolts began to crackle from them, but
when they did not prepare to attack or stop him, nothing came of it. He
continued on, sparing them.
When they came to the grand double doors that opened to the magister’s
chambers, they were no more a barrier than his own door had been. They flew
open and sailed into the room, crashing hard on the ground, revealing the
abomination in all his terrifying might.
---
Danarius and Fenris both had nearly jumped out of their skins when the door
crashed into the room. Danarius had been thrusting hard into his slave, using a
thrall spell to hold him still, yet gripping his hips desperately. He pressed
his thumbs into a place in his lower back where his scarring pattern was
concentrated because he knew even when Fenris was trying to play dead as he
often did during this, the pain always made him tense and squeeze anyway.
Fenris had been face down on the mattress, mentally somewhere else entirely. He
had been still, the spell quite unnecessary to keep him in place, and quiet,
imagining he was having a conversation with Anders about nothing in particular
as they wandered their favorite Orlesian marketplace.
Fenris tried to turn his head to see the cause of the sound, especially when
the guards moved to action, but the spell allowed him minimal movement.
Danarius’ head snapped toward the door and as soon as he saw what was in the
doorway, his heart leapt into his throat. He lowered his body further on Fenris
and drew his arms possessively around him. If he had his robes on, he'd have
pulled a blade and put it to the elf’s throat. Without such a threat available
to him. He just tugged his slave up a little from the mattress, using his body
for a shield as he considered his options.
---
As he stepped inside, the guards that stood beside the door jumped into action
and charged him. His barely reacted - his hands flew open to reveal his palms
and great arcs of lightning spread from them. They seemed to not only be
emanating from him, but from the edges of the room, stretching all the way up
to the ceiling and dancing around him. His skin crackled with each bolt that
passed over it and the sound was deafening. His hands thrust forward just as
they reached him, preparing to strike, and the bolts snapped to his will,
flying through the guards and sending them crashing back.
They were dead before they hit the ground and the corpses that were left were
completely charred. The guards that were rushing him from further in the room
were dealt with just as quickly, the spirit subjecting them to same power he’d
used in the hall, the men exploding as they ran, their momentum sending their
gore flying to his feet and coating him in even more blood. This time he was
covered in it, his entire front painted in bright crimson. 
He fixed his eyes on the bed and when he caught sight of the pair on top of it,
his furious voice filled the spacious chambers. “YOUR CRUELTY CEASES HERE. YOU
WILL FEEL THE BURN OF JUSTICE!”
---
His eyes widened as he watched the massacre, his demon howling in his head that
he had to take action. He'd sensed that the spirit in Anders was powerful, but
he'd never have guessed that he could decimate the guards so efficiently. His
bed slaves were screaming and they had dropped to bow to the figure in the
doorway, knowing that they were likely about to die no matter who won the fight
but apparently placing their bets on the newcomer. Solea had covered her mouth
again to keep from screaming, quite happy to be behind Justice and not in his
path, even if he had chosen to spare her thus far.
More guards would come, Danarius had no doubt of that. But with the speed the
spirit had killed everyone else in the room, he knew they would not make it in
time. He had no good way to threaten Fenris’ life, and even if he did, he knew
it would still Anders but that didn’t necessarily mean the spirit would stop.
With no other options, he listened to Javaro’s urging and lowered his head to
sink his teeth into his own forearm. He tore at his own flesh, spilling his
blood over himself and Fenris as he used the precious life force to call his
demon forth.
His demon came tearing out of him, pulling his flesh apart and leaving a pride
demon clutching Fenris where the blood mage had just been. The demon roared at
the spirit in the doorway and Fenris began to scream along with it, clawing at
the sheets the moment the spell shattered in desperation to get the thing out
and off of him.
---
The sight of the demon did not daunt him. As soon as the screams colored the
air, he lifted his hand and used the same power he had to blast the doors aside
to tear them apart. He barely had the consciousness to scale it back so that it
would not fling the warrior away with deadly force, but it did cause him to fly
off of the bed and crash to the ground. That left only the demon in his sights
and it seemed he meant to make a single blow of it. He was gathering his energy
now, brightening to the point that it would be too much to look at and the eyes
of all those observing would have to turn away. It looked as if he would tear
from his host, not unlike how the demon had, but even at the peak of his power,
he never did.
Instead, he formed a mass of lightning that he flung at the demon, but it
wasn’t a brief shock. He held it so that a continuous current connected them
and flowed into every inch of its body. The room flickered with the energy
pouring out from him, smaller bolts shooting off from the stream, licking the
ground and trailing away threateningly. He poured himself into it and the
longer he held it, the more he dimmed, but he didn’t stop until he began to
fatigue himself, blood dripping down his nose to join what had already been
sprayed on him. When the power ceased, he swayed where he stood, the amber
returning to his eyes, but then they went white and he collapsed.
---
Fenris had watched all of this in complete shock and even when Anders fell, he
found he could not move right away. When he finally climbed to his feet, he
glanced to the bed. The smoking body on the mattress was certainly dead, but he
still feared it. He still felt as if the demon might rise again at any moment.
He padded nervously past the bed, eager to get to his lover. Solea was already
shaking the mage when he reached her but he pushed the girl away, taking Anders
in his arms. Some of his power had been released when Marius had tested him and
so he desperately channeled what lyrium he could into him, then looked up at
the girl, his eyes still wide and glassy with shock. “His robes. My chain. I
have to…” He couldn’t form a sentence, but the girl seemed to understand as she
quickly moved to find the clothing she’d taken off of Danarius, knowing there
must be another key in there.
---
Anders was as unresponsive to the shaking as he was to the meager offering of
lyrium. As soon as the spirit had stopped channeling his power, the bleeding
had stopped, but while it hadn’t gotten nearly as far as it had in Orlais, it
had taken a lot out of him and his body needed just as much to recuperate.
---
When there was no response to his lyrium, shock began to give way to renewed
panic. He strained to summon as much lyrium as he could, starting to shake him
as the elf girl had been doing. “Anders? Anders?!” By the time Solea had
returned to his side, the warrior was screaming again, rocking the healer as he
clutched him.
“...It’s okay. He’s breathing. He just has to rest.” Solea tried to reassure
him, but she could barely talk over the man’s distraught cries. She quickly
gave up on that and worked to release his chain, startling when she received a
jolt of his lyrium once it was freed and he poured all that he had into Anders.
---
His body reacted to the change by forcing him to suck in a sudden breath, but
he let it out slowly and that was all there was. It took a long time for it to
be enough, but it did for him more than what an entire stock of lyrium could
have done and eventually he made a weak sound and his eyes cracked slightly.
---
Fenris had screamed himself hoarse, now only making weak, agonized little
sounds. He was still rocking desperately, hardly seeming to notice when there
finally signs of life from him. “Hey...hey, he’s waking up…” Solea murmured
from where she knelt beside him, but there was no getting through to the
warrior. She reached to touch Anders’ brow lightly, her fingers soothingly cool
with a little flick of magic. “Anders? Are you okay?”
Guards had filtered into the room, walking right past the trio on the floor
while Anders was out. There was a large gathering of slaves around the bed,
murmuring quietly amongst themselves as they waited between their master’s
corpse and the unconscious mage who had defeated him.
---
He heard his name from a familiar voice and he tried to shift, thinking he was
in her arms. “Solea?” he murmured, his lips barely shifting. His eyes started
to open further, but they were too heavy to lift and they fell back shut.
“Solea.”
---
“I’m okay. Fenris and I are okay.” She murmured to him, stroking her hand
lightly over his forehead. Hearing his voice seemed to calm Fenris a little and
he at least stopped screaming with every breath. Instead he gave harsh sobs
that occasionally shifted into laughter, his mind trying to process that this
might have really happened. That his master might really be dead and Anders
might have survived.
---
The sound of his name made his heart skip and it was then that he became aware
of the sobs and the...laughs? “Fenris?” He tried to force his eyes open again,
putting more effort into it, but all he managed was to crack them slightly.
Still, it was enough to see a flash of white and blue. The peace he felt
suddenly made sense, even though it made no sense at all. Did they… Were they
free?
---
Fenris was still in hysterics and the only indication that he’d heard his name
was that he clutched Anders even tighter, surely enough to be painful. Solea
winced on Anders’ behalf and began to wonder just how dangerous it would be to
try to pry the healer away from the warrior. “Fenris is here. Maybe we can take
you someplace quiet to rest. The other slaves are all awaiting your orders but
they know you need to recover first.”
---
He gave a soft cry when he was held with bruising force, the sounds of his
meltdown beginning to alarm him as his brain began to clear. He looked suddenly
terrified, his eyes opening further, “D-did… Did I…?” He couldn’t even finish
the statement, but Solea’s words answered the question for him. “Other? I
didn’t. I didn’t kill-...” He choked on the words, but as he started to take in
the scene in before him, he noticed the thick layer of blood down his front.
“Oh Maker,” he breathed.
---
“You killed Danarius. His estate and all of his slaves are legally yours.
Including Fenris and myself. Just relax, Anders, the others will wait until you
are feeling better to speak with you.” The girl began to very gently try to
loosen Fenris’ grip on the mage. She succeeded but only because Fenris had to
ease up on his hold to shove her roughly away from the two of them.
---
Danarius was dead. Fenris was holding him and Danarius was dead. He’d killed
him. “Is he-” He didn’t get a chance to finish the statement, because the girl
was being shoved away from them. His eyes lifted to him and his lip trembled,
not understanding what had happened. “Fenris, what did I do?”
---
Fenris was in no condition to hold a conversation just yet. His life had just
been radically changed by the man he loved. And for a moment, he’d been
entirely convinced that the man he loved had died freeing him. Rather than
answer him, he buried his face in Anders’ shoulder, weeping and laughing and
shaking all at once. Solea pushed herself to sit up but chose not to get any
closer, at least for the moment. “Justice killed Danarius. He killed the guards
that attacked us too. I asked him not to hurt anyone that didn’t come after us
and he didn’t.” She assured him gently, since it seemed he did not remember
what had happened.
---
That was a relief, but hearing that he’d not killed more than he had to wasn’t
enough to calm the panic he’d build up. “What’s wrong with him?” He sounded
fearful, his eyes fixed on him even as he addressed the girl. The fact that
Fenris wouldn’t speak to him and that he seemed to be losing it was freaking
him out.
---
“He's been like that since you collapsed. I think he just needs a little time
to process that you're okay.” Solea's tone was soothing, hoping to be the calm
presence the room needed at the moment. “Would you like to be taken to another
room to rest? The slaves could start cleaning up in here while you recover.”
---
“...please.” He didn’t want to rest. He didn’t want to stay here, but he knew
he was far too weak to leave. He could feel how drained he was and even with
the lyrium pouring into him, it wouldn’t be able to move any time soon. He
still hadn’t calmed, but without Fenris’ help, he’d probably be having a
conniption of his own.
---
Solea wasn't sure how to approach this and she moved in a little closer,
reaching to touch Fenris lightly. The surge of lyrium she got made her gasp and
pull her hand back, but she quickly found herself reaching to give him another
nudge. Both in hopes of getting his attention and to leech a little more of the
Fade from him. “Excuse me. Fenris? It's really okay now. Why don't we take him
to another room? Or hand him to me and I'll find a way to get him there.
Please?”
Fenris was finally starting to quiet, but he didn't seem to hear her. He
breathed raspy, shuddering sobs into Anders’ shoulders, though they were
growing weak and slow as he settled down gradually. She tried the same plea
when he finally quieted completely and he nodded slightly, though he didn't
make any move to lift his head, much less lift the mage.
---
“Fenris?” he tried quietly, “I’m okay, love.” He didn’t think he would get a
response from him, but he wanted to offer him some comfort, even if it didn’t
work. “He saved us. Justice saved us, just as I promised.” His own eyes watered
a little, knowing that as determined as he’d been, he’d doubted it. He’d asked
Fenris to trust him all the while he’d doubted himself.
---
That was enough for Fenris to finally look up from Anders’ shoulder. His face
had already been too warm with fever and was even hotter after his fit when he
nuzzled his cheek against his lover’s, his skin sticky with tears that had gone
dry. “You're okay?” He had no voice left and the question came out in a hoarse
whisper. “Don't tell me you're okay unless you can promise me that you are.”
---
“I just need rest,” he assured him, trying to lift a hand to touch him, but
being unable to. “Let her take me somewhere to rest, okay?” He knew she
wouldn’t be able to lift him, but maybe a couple of the others could help carry
him to an empty room. It was clear that Fenris himself wasn’t up to helping
and, ill as he looked, he shouldn’t regardless.
---
“...Okay.” He wasn't going to give up his hold on Anders, but he did want to
get him off the floor. When the girl tried to move in and get her arms around
the healer, he snarled at her and shifted to get his feet braced on the floor
so he could start to stand. He was too shaky and nearly toppled over with
Anders in his arms, but Solea caught hold of them and helped to stabilize him.
He didn't fight her this time, letting her help keep him steady and even take a
little of Anders’ weight as they trudged out of the gore-soaked bedroom. He
never stopped the flow of his lyrium, though he was weak and it flickered out
once in awhile as he walked.
---
When they almost fell, he started to protest, wanting to tell him to let
someone else carry him. Before he could get the words out, however, they were
steadied and he realized that he didn’t want to be in anyone else’s arms. He
kept his eyes on him so he was spared the sight of those he’d killed. “I’ll
heal you,” he assured him as they made their way through the hall.
---
“No. Not until I see that you're alright.” He had so little voice it was hard
to hear him over the sound of their footfalls, but clearly he was doubtful that
Anders was really okay. He let Solea guided them to the nearest guest room and
over to the bed where Fenris gingerly laid his lover down. He sat beside him
with a protective arm draped over him, lowering enough to press a kiss to his
forehead. Solea stood near the bed, wringing her hands as she tried to decide
what else she could do for them. Anders needed sleep and his protector was
naked, bruised, and flushed. For lack of a better idea, she simply tried to
pull the blanket up to tuck Anders in and at least cover Fenris’ lap.
---
“Please,” he murmured to her as soon as he was laid down. “Get these off of
me.” He had looked down at himself and he seeing all the blood that clung to
him had him pale. He didn’t want to linger in the death any longer than he had
to. There was something desperate in his tone and the way he looked at her - he
didn’t like the helplessness he felt and he wanted to be the one to get them
off.
---
“Of course, Anders.” Solea pulled the blanket back down and sat bedside him to
start undressing him. After being pushed and snarled at, she regarded Fenris
with all the wariness of someone around a wild dog known to bite, moving
carefully and looking ready to withdraw if he snapped at her. But Fenris just
lowered down to curl up next to Anders, though he watched her with sharp,
distrustful eyes. Solea carefully pulled the robes off of Anders, then his
smallclothes as well before pulling the sheet up again to keep him decent. “May
I wash you?” His skin was still sticky with blood that had soaked through the
robes and she doubted he wanted to rest like that.
---
He put what little strength he had into not being dead weight, but he wasn’t
much help. When he was naked, he felt better, but the offer was more than
welcome. He nodded gratefully, before turning his head slightly to look at
Fenris. His eyelids were heavy and drooping, but his gaze was unwavering. “Will
you hold my hand?” he asked quietly, wanting to touch him but being unable to
do so.
---
Fenris nodded and took Anders’ hand in his, lacing their fingers. It felt like
it had been so long since he’d felt their fingers woven like that and it made
tears sting the corners of his eyes. He wouldn’t have thought it possible that
there was any moisture left in them. He lifted their joined hands and pressed a
kiss to the back of Anders’ knuckles. He’d hardly noticed the elf girl leaving
the bed and even when she returned with water and a rag, he only gave her a
glance. Anders seemed to trust her and the more he calmed, the more weary he
became. Still, if she made one wrong move, he’d be on her in a heartbeat.
Solea was still wary about the warrior lashing out at her when she dabbed the
rag on Anders’ forehead, but when he didn’t, she began to wash his face gently.
She was still very stiff and careful, ready to pull back, but she saw Fenris
close his eyes so she began to relax as well. Her cloth gently but diligently
scrubbed the healer, working her way from his face, neck and shoulders, to the
places on his arms and chest that had been stained in blood and required a lot
more scrubbing.
---
He couldn’t return the grip, but feeling the hand on his was a comfort that
he’d needed and the kiss that followed soothed some of his worry. His eyes fell
shut as his face was washed, but he kept it turned towards him, wanting to be
as close to him as possible. After a considerable silence in which the only
sound was the rag on his skin, he mumbled an apology. “I’m sorry it took so
long.” With nothing else to think of, he thought about what had happened and
what lead up to this. The dinner was somewhat of a fog, but he remembered
enough. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop it,” he continued, his voice weaker with every
word, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”
---
“Enough. I will hear no apologies from you. You saved me. You saved me and now
I can finally stop running.” He had no voice to begin with, but it still broke
by the end. That when they left this place, there would be no Danarius to hunt
him still hadn’t really sunk in yet. He squeezed his hand and pressed against
his side, not minding at all that it was damp from Solea’s scrubbing. The
girl’s heart ached to hear the mage lament over not being able to make this
move sooner and though she didn’t speak up, she reached to give his hair a
light stroke with her fingers while the other hand still washed and soothed his
skin.
---
“Just take care of yourself, please,” he requested, almost inaudible by the
end. He remembered that he was ill and starving himself, even if he had eaten
at dinner. “Solea.” That was all he could muster in asking her to take care of
the warrior for him. He’d felt her touch, but with his eyes closed and as out
of it as he was, he had thought that it was Fenris.
---
“I will take care care of things. Just rest.” Solea said softly, not wanting
him to fuss over anything until he was feeling better. When she finished his
upper body, she very gingerly removed the sheet that she’d covered him with,
not wanting him to tense up in the name of modesty. She began to clean the rest
of him, half expecting Fenris to snap at her. Especially considering that he’d
been made to watch the two of them have sex. But she was relieved that the
warrior just stayed tucked against Anders, breathing in soft, hitching little
sobs and he continued to process everything that had happened since the night
their lives were disrupted in Orlais.
---
It was only a little longer before what little tension was in his body faded
and he passed out. The song of the Fade had not only awoken him, but eased him
into a more restful, productive slumber.
---
Solea finished her job in silence and when every inch of Anders was clean, she
looked to Fenris. “...May I cleanse you as well, Ser Fenris?” She highly
doubted it, but she would make the offer since he was a bit of a mess himself.
Fenris had been scrubbed by lesser slaves for the duration of his stay and
would have been thrilled to just wash himself for a chance. But he was so
exhausted and felt filthy as he always did after his master had his hands all
over him. So he gave her a weak nod and closed his eyes, not moving from Anders
even if it would have made her job easier. He fell asleep as she washed him,
the light in his tattoos first flickering, then dying out as he fell under.
With both men clean and resting, Solea covered them up and went about her next
matter of business. She went back to the master bedroom where the slaves had
all congregated and asked them to start cleaning up the messes Justice had made
on his warpath to Danarius. She asked that they prepare the body of their
former master, which now no longer resembled him at all, for disposal but to
wait to remove it from the property until Anders had woken and let them know
what he wanted done with it. No one questioned her orders, low ranking slave
that she was, because they had all seen her at Anders’ side over the passing
months and naturally assumed that he had put her in charge.
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